lights out...

You never really know when an adventure may be forced upon you, as one was last night for the ladies of the MC. It was a typical evening. I had just awoken from a nap, Meggie was watching "The Hills" downstairs, Anna was showering, etc. My rumbling tummy was in need of dinner, so I headed to the kitchen to grill the tilapia I had been defrosting. That baby was pretty thin so it wasn't taking long in the ol' Foreman, but just as I was getting ready to lemon-pepper it, our electricity flickered out. Well, sort-of. After the popping noise and darkness, most things came alive, but only halfway. The lights were on really dim, the television was fuzzy, my fish was burning but I couldn't see it, and none of the breakers were flipped. Wha..huh? Anna pulled out the mac-daddy flashlight so I could season my food and we could see in general. Megs let out a yelp because she could hardly see her show, and Sarah, a new sub-leaser we have staying with us, came downstairs looking very confused. As were we.

We all transferred to the other Maygan's room (she wasn't home) because she got the best t.v. reception and attempted to watch the rest of the show. And then everything went out. Except the bathroom lights. We were stumped. There was no thunderstorm or strange thing going on outside, no explanation. Ten minutes went by and things started coming on - back to halfspeed again. We called the electric company. They paid us and our transformer a visit.

Apparently half of the transformer had turned off, which makes since considering the circumstances. That whole ordeal took over an hour, but little did we know there was more creepiness to come.

With all of our electronics working again, we decided to rent a movie. Back at the house the four of us sprawled comfortably around the living room and watched "RENT". For about fifteen minutes. When our smoke detectors decided to go off. And when one goes they all go. I swear I have never heard more shrill alarms in my life. It is difficult to even function when those things are shrieking! They went on for ten seconds. Off for ten seconds. On for ten seconds. Off. On. Off. On. We searched the house and found no smoke, no sign of fire or trouble. Then we all freaked out that we were getting carbon monoxide poisoning and figured that was why they were going off. With no explanations, and no way off shutting the damn things off, we called our landlord at 11:30pm. Long story short, he said it was probably a wiring issue that got messed up with the electricity escapade, and no, they were not CO detectors too, and we should be fine, he'll have someone out first thing in the morning. They kept going off. And on. And off. Not exactly pleasant sleeping conditions. And I think poor Sarah was reconsidering living in our spooky house much longer.

Still remaining slightly skeptical and also worried for our lives, we made a unanimous decision to sleep on the deck that night. Hopefully that way we could not be poisoned, and if the house started on fire, we could surely jump. So the four of us braved the spiders and squawking crows, curled up in sleeping bags and blankets and slept outside.

I am sure it was quite a scene, but at least we lived to tell about it.

posted...

I wanted to post today. But then decided I really didn't want an entry with today's date. Call me crazy. So maybe I will post tomorrow. And then again, maybe I won't.

Don't worry, I changed the entry date manually to yesterday. Ha. You really did think I was crazy didn't you?

sweet caroline...

Sometimes there is nothing better for a broken spirit than an evening out and Tuesdays with Chappy. Chappy is a plump older man, probably is his sixties, with a delightful array of tunes he strums on his guitar while serenading a crowd of halfway interested college something or others. One lesson recently learned about such a night: if you do not have a large group to associate with, do not sit as two women, simply out for an enjoyable night. You may be hit on, and it may be even a little less than complimentary. Especially when you realize they sell magazines door to door and cannot wait to have another notch on their bedpost (as if it weren't blatantly obvious before). Yech. And Anna and I were in the middle of such a wonderful talk. That is until "crooked teeth, I am so smooth" boy told me I dropped something. Confused I said "what?". He said, "your smile." Oh dang, that was a good one. Pickup lines like that win me over every single time. I am such a sucker. Wait. Um, Anna I think we should leave now. As in immediately. Oh what's that, you have already finished your drink? Thanks boys but we have to run. Man, Chappy I miss you already, but don't worry we'll come back next week. And hopefully they won't.

But it was a good talk. Good talk Bonanas, good talk.

peep show...

Note to self: Knee length skirts on 50mph windy days work great for full frontal exposure at outdoor wedding receptions.

No kidding. It was so gusty on Saturday that once the skirt went up, I could not get it down. Apparently it needed to momentarily defy gravity. And at first I was thinking, phew, it is only family. Until a woman from the in-law side introduced herself and said don't worry, her son enjoyed the view. It was at that point that my cheeks turned a healthy crimson and I immediately disappeared into a hole in the ground.

Next time I will be checking the weather. And wearing pants. In fact, I may just wear pants forever.

banana boat...

With all honesty I finally get to say I have been too @#*%)! busy to update my life. Especially for those of you I never get to call... this blog lifeline has not been very supportive of you lately and I apologize.

For starters - summer is here! Yay! Even though it feels like I have not stopped running since I had the pseudo diploma in hand (which was amazing by the way) I would take a hectic summer over a crazy school year anyday. Okay, who wouldn't, but nonetheless, it has been nice. Clint and I took a roadtrip up to KC this past weekend to do some shopping and BBQing, and then headed to Lake of the Ozarks for a mini-vacation. One of his friends owns a lakeside condo, so I guess you could say we weren't exactly roughing it. Breakfast at noon, boat around all day, lazy river (yes, their resort had one of those too), etc. Perhaps coming from a small town has not prepared me for the luxury of this lake, but holy toledos. There were million dollar homes scattered on the shore every which way the eye could see. Personal docks with yachts, speed boats, and five Seadoos attached were the norm. Um... and I thought my parents 15 footer was nice. Ha.

The trip was wonderfully relaxing, well, until the end. The end when I discovered I have motion sickness when traveling 60mph around curves and hills galore. The type of hills that your stomach stays at the top and your heart sinks for a few seconds. What happened to the daredevil rollercoasters of my youth? Crap I am getting old. Twenty-two going on sixty. Not that sixty year olds are... well... old, but you don't see many at theme parks. Anyway, we pulled over at a gas station until my head stopped spinning and my stomach decided to hang onto its breakfast. I doped up on some Dramamine and we headed onward. Of course the meds didn't really take effect until long after we were out of the winding roads, but it was comforting never the less. The drowsying effect was also useful to blame me oversleeping work the next morning. Oops... But we made it, and have better tans (my skin is still probably partially see-through) to prove it.

Side note, it is thundering and storming like a mother trucker outside right now. Dang.

I guess that's all I will live to tell about for now. I have an early morning, which, followed by a late work night, are not usually very pleasant to wake up for. So sleep tight everyone, and sit tight as well. I will be back soon.

Oh! And I posted a few pics at the lake. Check it out.

Apparently our condos were the place to be on the lake this summer. Don't take my word for it, the sign says it so it must be true.
Our wonderful captains and tour guides.
My first bar on a lake experience. Hey, I am used to redneck lake trips - cabins, wakeboards, and hotdogs. This million dollar lake was a whole new thing for me.

chapter2...

I graduate tomorrow. From college. The day that seemed forever and ever away. Four years can sneak up on a person pretty quick. So I will finally have a degree. And a chance at that big job, a real career. But all I can think about is everything I am leaving behind. It's so easy to see why adults talk about the college years with glazed over eyes. They remember what it was like, what they left behind. You meet your best friends, get away with hell on earth, and somehow survive to tell the story. Well, at least the parts you can remember.

So for a day that is such a wonderful celebration, it wraps up a period that most of us aren't quite ready to let go of. The family I forged from six amazing girls, all of which impacted me in their own little way, more than I could ever express or thank them in words. Molding a wide variety of personalities into one little house, and sticking together for better or worse, because hey, that's all you have. It's your friends who party like rockstars with you at fraternity parties (until you realize that they are really not cool), your friends who take your temperature and put a cold cloth on your forehead when you're too sick to move, your friends that turn a staircase into a gigantic mountain that must be conquered with a sled, and your friends that let you bawl your eyes out and curse the crazy bastard who broke your heart again, even when they saw it coming all along. They let you steal their groceries. Give you rides when there's no way you will ever make it to class on time. Buy you matching tube socks, with stripes. Pick you up at 3am with a smile on their face. Put off their homework when you need to talk. Give pick-me-off-the-ground hugs that brighten your whole day. Dance to 80's music without reservation. That's what friends do.

And then you have to leave them. And grow up. But I am not ready. I'm not ready to leave that behind.

Anna, Bridget, Liz, Maygan, Megan, and Shawndra. Thank you for you. And thank you for putting up with me. I couldn't ask for better roommates or friends. May the memories of the BR and MC live on forever :)

zowie!!!...

Tuesday morning I awoke after the seventh alarm and clawed my way over to my dresser to shut it off. And then I realized I could not move my head. It was stuck in a downward and to the right kind of way. And the second I attempted movement my neck screamed otherwise. I could barely walk, I definitely could not lay down. In fact, I could hardly hold still enough for it not to zing me with pain. Always a procrastinator, I still had a paper to finish that morning before class. Dang. I finished it up with little head movement, as typing is, obviously a fairly low contact sport. But my morning had just begun. I scheduled a massage immediately, but doubted they could help something so severe. My head would not have even been able to lay properly on the head rest. Getting dressed was basically out of the question. Okay, I suppose I'll wear sweats today, and just forget the desperately desired shower I had planned on taking. Bridge put my hair in a ponytail, and I attempted mascara, also a lost cause. I was still going to try to go to class, but after realizing how far I would have to walk I would have been late anyway, and probably not even be able to see the projection screen as messed up as my neck was. So I skipped. Yippee!

Anyway, I talked my mom into letting me see a chiropractor (finally!). Since about July or August I have had a chronic neck pinch that comes and goes in severity. But because my family is a bit of a critic when it comes to such doctors, I have had to settle for massages (okay, I'm not complaining) but the problem has never gone away. And this day was above and beyond ridiculous.

Still in my kinked position I drove five blocks down to a recommended chiropractor, thanks to Bridge, who was generous enough to squeeze me in for an appointment. I did not know what to expect, hearing mixed reviews and outcomes of various treatments. But my doctor was wonderful. And understanding of my situation. I think he felt sorry for me. Heck, I felt sorry for me. The first thing he asked was if I slept with the fan on the night before. I had, but saw no relevance to the current situation. "What about your window," he asked. Yep that was open too. And he said that was what probably did it. Huh? Umm... am I missing something here doc?

Apparently it got pretty cold in my room (the temp had dropped a lot), because I woke up freezing, and my entire body was most likely very tense during the majority of my sleep trying to keep warm. Therefore my shoulders were scrunched into my neck all night. And the strange thing is I'm pretty sure he was right. Who'd have thought. All this pain could have been avoided by shutting a window four inches. Are you kidding me?!

He finally got me loosened up - not all the way but enough to let me face straight ahead. And then I was hooked up to those little electric pulsating thingies, which I am not sure I'm a believer in yet. Only time will tell.

Moral of this story? Well, there really isn't one. But if you wake up one morning cursing about the pain and your lack of movement, don't say I didn't warn you. Keep those windows shut!

Oh - and on a completely different note, I wanted to thank thank thank Brian and Ashley for visiting during the spring game festivities. It was so good to see you and I can't wait for the wedding! Bring on the foxtrot. : )

ring-a-ling...

Today was a big day - I got a new haircut, a root canal, and a new cellphone. And although all three can be quite a process, the most traumatizing of the three was the phone replacement.

Most people jump at the chance to get a new gadget in their hands, and though I thought I would be the same way, today proved differently. After over two years of dedicated service by my side, my little silver Audiovox bit the dust. Not completely, but the attennae is busted, leaving my service to a minimum at most. The second I started programming my new phone, I realized how much I needed my old banged up one back. It has been through too much for me to leave it at a time like this. I mean it. My cell was a trouper. The number of times I have dropped it on cement is ridiculous. Sometimes totally three times a day. Ouch. The LCD even went out due to all the bruising, but eventually revived itself through my intense begging and encouragement.

It also had a run in with the washing machine. They didn't have much chemistry. I lovingly took it apart with an itty-bitty screwdriver and let it air dry for two days. Of course it pulled through for me - good as new the second I put it back together. In an even more unfortunate event, cellie got left at an apartment complex right next to the hub-bub of Aggievillie life for almost twenty-four hours. By the time I remembered (namely Anna remember) where it could be we had gone through a thunderstorm and weekend traffic. But there he was, huddled against the mulch, cold and shaken, but still alive. It was a proud moment.

In the most recent event, the poor cell had beverages accidentally poured on it, and although I now know how it operates, there was little I could do to save the poor guy, as his attennae fell out the second I opened him up. At that point I knew he was pretty much a goner.

And it's not just the fact that he's been so loyal. He's had a lot to deal with too. Every text message and moment caught in my sometimes dramatic college life has been captured in that phone. There are a gazillion memories wrapped up on that mini-hard drive.

So I guess I just want to say, cell phone, I'll miss you. More than you can realize. And I'm sorry I have to abandon you. It's painful for me too. (Really, I'm not kidding, it sucks.) But just remember, even though there will be others that take your place, there will never, ever, be another you. You and your ringtones will forever have my heart.

cannon in D...

I don't know what I did to deserve such punishment, but lately nature has been out to get me. It started out innocently enough. Every once in awhile a bird outside my window would chirp me awake in the mornings. Granted I love all things spring, so I took this as a sign of warmer weather ahead. I even the little guy at first. "Chirp chirp, " he'd sing, as I rolled over and tried to catch a few more Zzz's. Eventually my friendly bird decided to invite his buddy over for a morning warm-up session. But this one did not chirp. It squawked. And squawked. LOUDLY. Squawk. Pause. Squawk. Pause. Single syllable, perfectly timed intervals. I could almost see him peeking into my window, waiting for me to throw my hands up in frustration. I didn't even pretend to sleep when the squawker came to town. Just laid in agony waiting for the alarm. This continued for quite some time, and I thought I'd had all I could take.

Until last week. I finally had the rare chance to sleep in. No work, no school, no projects, papers or exams. Finally. Then... bark. Yip. Bark bark. Yip. Yip yip yip. A little yappy dog joined nature's choir outside my window. What a sweet serenade. For an hour. And a half. *#@^$!

It's now a running joke, as earlier this week, not kidding, a different bird graced my presence. If birds were ever rated on singing ability, I'm pretty sure this one would be out of a job. He sang a song - a real tune - which was nice for a change. But he was off key and in terrible need of a tune-up. As well as some additional verses, maybe a bridge. I just shook my head and clawed my way out of bed. Might as well not fight it.

The kicker was yesterday morning. I know, it just keeps getting worse. Clink. Clink. Thud. Clink. Thud. I wish I could set up the array of sound effects for the viewing audience. It would be impressive. Apparently the neighbor felt it necessary to start fencing his yard at 8AM. Clink. Clink. Clink. Thud.

Mother nature - all right already - you win!

tomorrow...

It's been one of those days. When nothing really goes wrong, but nothing is really right either. The type of day you can hardly wait to fall into bed and sleep it off. Like a bad hangover. Yeah. One of those days. I suppose I have some sleeping to do.

t.v. dinner...

I just sat down to do a little net surfing and snacking with a wonderful plate of homemade chicken alfredo. Two bites down. Deeelicious. Third cut, chicken alfredo in lap, on leg, on shorts, on leather chair. Plop. Slop. That about settles that. No more lunch at the computer desk.

Oh - I wanted to share a time-wasting website I stumbled upon recently. Warning: aviod this site if you need to be productive. It's quite entertaining. Basically you upload photos of yourself and friends and it compares them to celebrities. So far I've gotten matches with Magic Johnson, (um... what?) Molly Ringwald, and Jessica Alba to name a few. I know it sounds like quite a variety but the comparisons actually look quite similar. So if you have some time check it out: www.myheritage.com.

to the rescue...

I might be mistaken, but I believe my horomones are on an emotional coaster lately. I started tearing up watching "Supernanny" tonight. No, I am not kidding. Aww... crap.

hey good lookin'...

You know you love your roommate when you don't mind sharing your birthday with them. Actually, I must really really love Anna because I can't wait to share my bday with her. And we're going out tonite. Like rockstars. Everyone must come and share in the festivties.

Oh and I had a situation to pose my loyal readers that may or may not exist. Today I'm in my Law class, cramming some last minute facts before the exam. I am fairly easy person to distract, and a people watcher as well, so I kept paying attention to everyone walking in the room. A few minutes past when I glanced up from my notes and saw a guy coming in that I didn't recognize. It wasn't as though I was intentially checking him out. I didn't even mean to. You know the type of situation - when someone just takes you completely by surprise and you're caught staring... well it was just like that. And then I did a double because, quite frankly, he was just my type (if I even have one) and I was a bit taken aback. Damn... how have I not seen him all semester? It was at that point I finally recognized who he was. Umm... my boyfriend... really. His hair was messed up from the rain and he had his glasses on (a weakness of mine). Oops. Try explaining that one.

yahtzee!...

I have always loved snow skiing, ever since my first experience as a freshman at Monarch Ski Resort. Somehow I avoided lessons, convincing my parents that my friends could coach me. Soon I was flying down blues, probably crashing occasionally, but having a great time nonetheless. Eventually I learned that snowplowing straight down a slope doesn't exactly count as proper technique. Every year since then I have gotten to ski, but this year was the first time I spent the majority of it with my parents.

We set off early in the morning with a group of kids, whose parents mistakenly trusted me as a sponsor. I got to chill in the back of one of the vans and avoided driving through Denver at all costs. Being the brilliant individual I am, pre-trip I bought a SU DO KU book full of those silly number puzzles. Okay I'll be honest, I am absolutely horrible at them, and have screwed up more than I will ever complete. But somehow I have a firm belief that if I keep practicing and perservering, my brain will get stretched and grow in new ways. Usually I do one or two during the day, to pass time in class. Yes they take me a whole class period. Gads. Anyway, I tore some out and gave them to people to try. My brother beat me done, and it was his first one. I screwed up four in a row, not kidding, with only a few spaces left each time. Perhaps there is no hope for that part of my brain. Quitting is appearing to be a viable option. But moving along...

A few years ago I switched from skis to blades, much to my brother's persuasion, and I love them. Although most skiers look down on the short little skis, there's something to be said about avoiding the mess of poles and also the ease of jumps and tree trails. A little speed is lost due to length, but I usually have no problems keeping up. My parents converted soon after as well. Apparently we're making a difference because ninety percent of our kiddos this trip used them also.

We stayed in two condos close to the Winter Park resort, made breakfast each morning and enjoyed the efforts waking up early to be one of the first few groups on the mountain. I set out with mom and dad and we had a pretty good time tearing up (the tearing up part may be an exaggeration) the slopes. Occasionally I tend to get out of control, trying to go too fast. So I had some nice crashes, but nothing very serious. Mom is a more risk averse than dad and me, so she took up the rear, but together we made a pretty good team. The first day was fairly non-eventful, although fun. Day two, however, got a little more interesting. Dad's terrain park adventure will be soon to come.

twitch...

Oh glorious day! It has been almost a week since the last time I could really use a computer and I have found the old adage to be true - absence does make the heart grow fonder. I feel like I have been separated from the internet for months! So here I am, rummaging around frantically and clumsily (laptops and I are not exactly user-friendly) searching all the sites I have missed in the last few days. And it has been, perhaps you could say, an eye opening experience. First of all, I don't get much email. None at all really. Probably only one to two good ones a week. Most of my inbox is cluttered with job search results, ridiculous forwards, (when will people stop sending those *#^%$ things?!) and shopping specials, none of which I really use. Secondly, as obsessive as my online usage is, it seems that I could do with a lot less of it because, as stated in point one, no one ever emails me anyway. Maybe if I wrote back in a timely fashion my online popularity would increase. I guess I'll tack that goal onto the bottom of my self-improvement checklist. Check. And other than that I don't even have a third point, which made it a little pointless to even make a list, as one of my teachers once taught me. Two points just doesn't sell the way three points will I suppose. I guess you'll just have to trust me that this zilcho-internet-for-too-long-experience really has been eye opening. Right...

Anyway, I have a lot I wanted to share, and really more than anything during this personal online hiatus, I have missed blogging the most. You see, my parents and I set out on an adventure recently, and for the last four days we have been touring another state, in hopes that one day I will make it out here to live. (Survive is probably the more accurate term.) It has always been a goal and dream of mine, and I suppose the clock is now ticking to make it happen. So they have both generously donated their time, ummm... monetary support, and lively company to help me search the great unknown. It has been a wonderful experience, as I have gotten to spend some extended time with them, which is so hard to find, and they have been so incredibly generous and supportive of me. I could not have asked for a better trip. Along the way we have had so many funny stories, strange situations, and numerous belly laughs, that I only thought it fair to pass them along. Believe me, my dad attempting a very professional ski jump that ended in an even more unprofessional ski CRASH is worth the wait.

cheese...

I love nothing more than to hear my roommate's laugh. And not just a polite laugh, or an excited shriek, or even a true giggle. I love the big, deep laughs that start in the bottom of the belly and proceed shake the walls. I'm upstairs with the door closed dinking around, procrastinating sleep apparently, and occasionally I keep catching spontaneous rumbles of laughter. The really wonderful type of laughter that you simply cannot fake; one that is rarely shown, rarely shared. Sometimes it's so good that your eyes water and you stomach cramps. It's happiness pure and simple, because, well, I think because it's real. And the best part? Just hearing it makes me smile too.

triple salchow...

I conquered my big ol' test today. After many hours of studying last night, and the night before that, wait, scratch that, okay only last night, I'm so happy to be done. I thought I did pretty well, but after discussing some of the questions, I realized I might have botched quite a few. Maybe I should get back to my old study habits of reviewing for more than one day. I don't tend to get unmotivated when the end is near, but perhaps the nearing graduation date is affecting me too. Not that I'm getting bad grades, (breathe mama) just not the 4.0 I was hoping to finish up with.

Okay okay. And I went ice skating today. Crazy I know, when it's sixty-five degrees outside. And the rink is about twenty by twenty feet. But it was pretty hilarious. Clint's gangly legs flying everywhere and me moving at a granny's pace. Meggie's bf hooked us up - that's right free skating none the less. I barely mastered a turn-spin thingy and Clint attempted stopping, while the middle school girls lapped us going backwards. Sweet.

Last thing. I have tomorrow off. (Cries of celebration - Yippee!) I will be putting it to good use by not getting out of my bed until at least 3PM. It's mandatory. And I can't wait. :)

Okay one more thing. My Anna-bonana is babysitting um... older people this week and I never get to see her. Not nearly enough anyway. So this is just to say, roomie. I miss you. Mwah.

chug a choo-choo...

The consistent, current entries I once posted on my blog regularly has slowly deteriorated to just a few a month. And although I know I need to make another post, I want to make another post, it's as if my brain is stuck. Usually the words just pour out, and the stories easily come to life, but recently they've been blocked. Even though it might seem that it's because I now have a boring life, that couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm enjoying my last semester (wow!) of college and a life of little responsibility. Okay, I feel like I do have quite a bit of responsibility, but the padres still pay for my roof and cute front porch. And my car insurance. And cell phone bill. But that's about it. Really. And for the record I work my arse off at work. Not that I need to tell anyone, I complain about it enough. At least I pretend to be responsible.

I guess I could contribute to my blog by being honest. About how I've really been feeling lately. Scared. Ecstatic. Sad. Scared. Nostalgic. Anxious. Content. Scared. Yeah, all of those I suppose sum it up quite well. It's the first day of March tomorrow, and it really is hard to believe. I know, I hate saying that. I get so annoyed by those people who are always like, wow, this month just flew by... or man, feels like I just blinked and another year is gone. Well of course it did, it always goes by too fast. Maybe the only reason we think it went fast is because we can't get it back. Just like having a crush on so-and-so, who is completely out of your reach. We desire it even more because we can't have it. Ah, human nature. Perhaps time is like that too.

Ahem, but anyway, back to the matter at hand. First of all, the new month symbolizes I only have about two more months to get a job secured before I graduate. Go ahead, say it with me. "Crap." Maybe I don't want the real world yet. Can I get an extension? Maybe just another two months - to get everything in order, to let me catch up with the life ahead? Dang. I guess it's back to those applications then...

Oh! One more note. Did anyone else notice that it's Fat Tuesday and I am in front of my computer instead of ringing in the season? I have beads and everything. I also have an exam Thursday. Dang it. Again.

scrub-a-dub...

Okay, so now my laundry is hitting the four foot mark. Maybe I should get to washing.

downy fresh...

I wish my life were a little more exciting to write about recently. But then again it is said that if you're bored you must be boring. Oh. Crap. Really I'm not bored at all. I just haven't had any random weird stories to share lately. Well except the fact that it is possible to have a food fight per se at two in the morning using smeary cheap peanut butter, that was surprisingly tasty. I would know - Anna fed it to me. Hey, she started it all. And if you fall in the shower (trying to get clean?), the chances of the curtain falling in after you is pretty high. I have learned that frozen custard is so much more delicious than ice cream, of course having nothing to do with how many calories are involved in that equation. I have discovered that no matter how much time has passed with an old friend, they are still excited to hear from you. And usually not much has changed, even though everything has.

I have realized that there are worse things than a pile of laundry crawling three feet up a closet wall, or a little dust collection, when instead I'm busy enjoying the life and people and chaotic-ness (yes I think I just made that word up) surrounding all of us. Because this world just keeps going . Circle after circle. Sun up, sun down. Another morning I force my eyes open and attempt to crawl out of bed, another day, in essence, another routine. And I find it so ironic that each day as I count down the minutes to another b-o-r-i-n-g (yawn) class or a never-ending day at work, I am really watching history pass me by. And we all just keep on trucking... we keep moving, keep living; holding on tight to the moments that sneak by too fast, and praying for the time in-between to simply fly.

right here...

When your long day is over
and you can barely drag your feet
the weight of the world is on your shoulders
I know what you need
Bring it on home to me.

- Little Big Town

hanky-spanky...

So there has been a lot I've wanted to say and tell, but no time to do so, honest. Here's a really short rundown of recent activities:

- The President, as in G.W.Bush, came to our school! I don't care whether you're a Democrat or Republican, that's pretty freaking cool. I think the total standing in line time we waited to see him (including getting tickets, and then of course through security checks) was about four hours. Not consecutively though. Which was completely worth it. I have been to D.C. twice and thought if I ever had the chance of seeing a prez it would be there. Guess we got lucky!

- I went to a rock concert (ROCK!) last weekend in Wichita to see Shinedown and Seether. It was amazing. By the end my legs could almost stand no more, and my ears rang the next day, but it was a lot of fun and something different than the norm. The place was sold out, but it actually wasn't too crowded - standing room only. The only bad part was the ninth grader who stood in front of me most of the night with a big frizzy blonde ponytail, so everytime she jumped up and down to rock out... bleh... hairball.

- And finally, I got the flu this week. I know, please, everyone feel terrible for me. That's all I want. Actually I felt like knock-down, drag-out crap for two days, and tonight I'm winding down the same way. I haven't had the flu since I can even remember, but wow, I forgot how horrible it feels! My temp even got up to 102.2. Okay, okay, I'm done crying. Of course I had an exam today that I studies, perhaps one hour total. Which is not even close to substantial for me. I'm just hoping the next four I'll have more time to put into them. It didn't help any that I accidentally OD'ed myself on Nyquil. Apparently I don't know how much two tablespoons are. Which was probably most of the reason I was gone to the world yesterday - barely able to lift my head off the pillow. I survived though, thanks to my roomies TLC, especially Bridget and the cold cloths, as well as Clint's checkups to make sure I was surviving. My mom wanted to come get me, which I was halfway tempted to let her. But of course even I am not that big of a weenie. I just like her to feed me my cough syrup from a spoon. Is that so terrible?... Anyway, tomorrow I'm supposed to work seven hours, so we'll see if I make it up in the morning. I'm hoping so because I don't think anyone else is able to cover that shift.

And now I shall fall into my med-induced sleepy place. Until I get a drunk dial... Ah college!

dump the frump...

When I get older will someone please remind me not to wear any of those crazy knitted sweaters and oversized cardigans with scenery all over them. You know, like the ones with cabins and bears, or Christmas trees, or flowers and bugs and bees - oh my!, etc. You get the picture. That and skinny-ankle pants. They are running rampid on the older folk out here and it's got me wondering what age people start to lose their sense of style. Ugh.

peek-a-boo...

So today was my sixth day in a row at work - I had five night shifts during our record week, and then this morning I had to open. I tell you this not to complain (I've already done plenty of that) but so that the following story makes a little more sense. My body was in pain, my legs ached, my feet were sick of standing for eight hours straight too many days in a row, and I was worn out. I have also gotten little sleep, so I was exhausted. Last night I went to bed pretty late and set my alarm early to get some chores taken care of. The next thing I know, I'm waking up and the clock says 7:47. Oh crap. I throw on my jeans (same ones I wore at work the night before - hey - they're just going to get dirty again), whip on mascara, and run out the door. I'm so thankful I can wear a hat on days like these!

Anyway... the crew was in a good mood and we are prepping along. I start to notice my knee is getting stiff and I can't really bend it as usual. Hmmm. I ignore it until it becomes even more obvious, even when I'm just walking. Finally I reach down to check out the situation. Yep... my underwear from the night before were about to emerge from my pants. Oh man. The crew, while laughing hysterically, made me make sure I had even put underwear on today this morning. Next time maybe I'll pay a little more attention before heading out the door. You never know where a pair of britches might crop up.

wildflowers...

you belong among the wildflowers
you belong in a boat out at sea
sail away, kill off the hours
you belong somewhere you feel free

run away, find you a lover
go away, somewhere all bright and new
i have seen no other
who compares with you

you belong among the wildflowers
you belong on a boat out at sea
you belong with your love on your arm
you belong somewhere you feel free

run away, go find a lover
run away, let your heart be your guide
you deserve the deepest of cover
you belong in that home by and by

you belong among the wildflowers
you belong somewhere close to me
faraway from your trouble and worry
you belong somewhere you feel free

-- Tom Petty

feliz navidad?...

So I bomb bomb bomb-ba-bombed my final exam in the intersession course I was taking over break. Dangit. For some reason I completely relied on the study guide and overlooked all the notes I had taken for the class. The entire first page of the test I had to leave blank on the first go-around. I don't remember feeling this awful about a test since freshman year. Man. I'm just kind of dumbstruck right now because I did so horribly, and there's really no excuse. If I would have looked through my notes even once I'd been so much better off. Kind of a disappointing ending to a class that wasn't necessary. Pooh.

Maybe the moral of this story is to not attend you company Christmas party (yes it was about a month late, but still fun) the night before and drink Long Island after Long Island after margarita until your stomach wants to explode, not from the alcohol but more so an instense sugar intake. Bleh. Lesson learned.

sweat and tears...

If you never take the time to figure out what you want, you may never know who you really are.

on the outside just lookin'...

I made the big journey to my hometown the other day. Big deal you say?...well it actually kind of is because I haven't been there for more than two days straight for, oh, as long as I can remember. I've gotten to sleep till noon. It's great. However, very shortlived. But I have accomplished most of my "to do" list - I've visited friends and people I used to work for; I've been shown all the changes that have taken place during my time away. And in that time I was slightly amazed, because I have lived in this wonderful little town since I was two, and it holds most of my memories, most of my friendships, basically all of who I am (up until college of course). Most of me was shaped in some form through this town. But it no longer fits. At all. It feels like an awkwardly shaped glove or pair of pantyhose that you just can't wait to wriggle out of. Kind of like a pair of shoes that never quite got broken in right and always wear a painful blister on your little toe just to remind you how much they don't fit. On the outside most everything appears normal, just as I left it, but below the surface a whole lot has changed. Or then again, maybe it really hasn't.

Everywhere I go people look at me as if I don't belong. As if I should go back to where I came from. Adults who used to wave and smile and say hello give me a blank stare, a half-hearted smile, and keep walking. Take last night for example. I have never felt so out of place somewhere in my life. My friend Mike picked me up and we headed to "The Bar" (real name) because there is nowhere else for college kids to go, as we can no longer have parties at our parent's homes when they leave town like the good ol' days. I walk in and everyone's eyes flick to the door. I felt like a deer caught in headlights, honestly; everyone stared as if I had a huge piece of broccoli hanging from my teeth, or perhaps a big sticker that said "glare at me" stuck on the middle of my forehead. Because that's all anyone did. The old people, the grungy people, the twenty-something's that never moved from home; they all glared. I smiled. What else can you do in that situation? "You don't belong here, who do you think you are?" their stares seemed to scream. Yikes! Yes perhaps I was overdressed, that's just how things are now though. I go out, I dress up. It's part of the fun we girls have I suppose. I have no idea why they felt the need to intimidate a poor girl who just came in to socialize and have a beer. Maybe that just sums up "small town America." I did end up having a good time as more friends showed up, and I tried to ignore the fact that a few of us stuck out like throbbing sore thumbs.

Some would probably say I'm too sensitive, and they didn't mean anything by their stares. And maybe they're right. Maybe I over-analyze... hmmm... NAH. Nevertheless, it kind of feels like a punch in the stomach to no longer have a place here. I contributed to society, I was on every blasted club you could name, I raised more than my fair share of donations for this or that, I earned good grades... why do I get the boot? Why am I the misfit? I can't even go into the pharmacy without feeling like a complete stranger to the community -it's one of the oddest feelings. Just another thing you have to get used to as time keeps changing things. Bah. Humbug.

au revoir...

It was Liz's last big night out before she headed to study abroad, so of course a roommate bonding mini-pubcrawl was in order. It was a Monday evening. Most of the bars were empty. But we had fun. We MC girls always have fun. Here's a quick look at the progression of the evening. Anna's mom gets a shout for the pom-pom stocking hats she gave us for Christmas. She inspired the event. We are forever grateful.

just scribbles...

Okay so we all know the semester is almost over. Hallelujah. I am attempting to cram tonite for an exam I thought was later on tomorrow. As it is probably obvious in the way I shape my thoughts, my class notes are incredibly scattered. They are technically organized, but the margins are full of doodles and thoughts and songs that were stuck in my head, and in an effort to stay awake I express myself rather than pay attention to the professor. It's actually easy to follow this whole year simply based on what is written in my 5-subject spiral. So I thought I'd share a few of my doodles (it's too bad you can't see my artwork), not only for entertainment, but also as a slight documentary to this semester. It's been a ride.

- "so long sweet summer. i stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays."
- so tired!
- dumb warcraft... ryan's fault i had a dream about bears.
- "stay or leave i want you not to go but you should. it was good as good goes."
- well hello. funny meeting you here.
- day-o, DaaAAAAaaaa-O, Daylight come and you wanna go home.
- Here I am... Rock you like a hurricane.
- "cuz i'm leaving on a jet plane. don't know when i'll be back again. oh babe i hate to go."
- chAnGE*
- I have to pee please.
- rainy day. t.v. couch. me & you.
- your words hurt. a lot.
- f-ing jerk.
- i want a job.
- miss you.
- lip service
- disconnected
- "oh i wish that i knew what i know now, when i was younger..."
- white males = good ol' boys
- beauty
- so many questions
- just say no to synergy
- are you just being selfish? don't be selfish. it hurts too bad. uses my time. steals my energy. don't be selfish.
- "wake me up when September ends."
- what is security? is there such thing?
- "when the rain comes I will hold you."
- i skipped class. thank goodness.
- holy cow
- freaking tired
- 1+1=...3? I hate synergy.

tie-dyed...

You know when you were little and your parents finally let you have a soda when you went out for lunch... and the really cool thing to do was to mix all the flavors together with just the right amounts, and then call it a "suicide," as if it were a really crazy thing to do...? Every time I walk by a soda station I wonder about that. Do kids still make those? Is it still a popular phase they go through, or did it lose its glitter just like my banana clips and baggy t-shirts?

above all else...

It's amazing the things you realize over a Frosty and frenchfries. And maybe what I have learned isn't actually anything new. Sometimes it just takes a dose of reality to remind you of what you've always known (as well as a great roommate). My findings are quite uncomplicated really, and I don't know what took me so long to stumble upon them. Either way, it was not until tonight that I realized how easy it is to convince yourself of something or someone when you wish it were the truth. You see, I believe fully in the ability of a woman's intuition. Often times I just choose to blantantly ignore it and hope it goes away, or stuff it down further inside thinking the constant tug will fade. And then eventually the fallacy you are living does not seem so unrealistic afterall, and you convince yourself that what is happening is the right thing, and that you really are happy. You just go on living this way, ignoring how you really feel because it's convenient at the time. Perhaps it is a safe place to hide, protected for a while longer and then a while longer from life's harshness and realities.

But the truth always catches up to you. Real life eventually finds a way to show itself - when everything finally makes sense and all the loose ends come full circle. It is a lot of information to handle. First it made me angry, really really angry. And after that rush of emotion passed, I felt hurt and used, foolish and disappointed and frustrated and annoyed, and well, still angry. So I looked for answers and searched for the truth, and pointed my finger at the person who hurt me. But in the end I am left to face the blatant, obvious truth. When all is said and done, I have no one to blame but myself, because deep down, way deep in the bottom of my stomach, I knew it all along. I always, always knew.

Listen to yourself, chances are you already know the answer.

graduation...

WOW, I am hung over today.

let it snow...

So here I sit, my hair wrapped up in a messy towel knot, trying to mop up all the water I spilled on my desk. This wouldn't be such a problem, of course, if I had a clean desk. But there is stuff scattered everywhere - homework, random notes, numerous lists, gloves, cards, pictures, yogurt, books, a camera, and earrings - you know, the usual. So most of the stuff is soaked, I suppose my clumsiness deserved it.

Everyone is bustling around the house tonight with projects and school work and presentations. Megan is playing her Christmas music (primarily N'Sync Christmas - which Bridge, Megs, and I all secretly like). I was trying to guess the tunes from the shower wall, with some success. Her playlists are the best; actually, when you can hear her singing through the bedroom door is even better, when you can tell she's really happy. Anna is downstairs helping a friend with a powerpoint, or maybe distracting him from getting it done. We made him watch a girly movie tonight. He put up a fight, but I'm pretty sure he liked it. I think Bridge passed out upstairs with her T.V. on because I haven't seen her for the last seven hours. And Liz is putting together her last interior design project - hopefully the girls will get a few hours of sleep tonight. The house is filled with Christmas trees, greenery, and lights (thanks Bridge); a reminder of what is soon to come, as well as what will be over even sooner - I'm sure the entire campus is hoping and praying that dreaded finals week will be over swiftly and painlessly. Bring on the presents and carols and cousins!

grumblegrumblegrumble...

Here's an update on my mood. And I am probably going to sound like a grump, but I decided that's okay, because normally I am anything but. So here goes it. Today I am feeling one hundred percent intolerant of the people and things that I usually find only mildly annoying. You see, usually I try my best to be pleasant and nonchalant about the things that drive me absolutely crazy, but I guess today is just not that day. Perhaps I will simply lock myself in my room to avoid any more of the irritating confrontations that could possibly occur today. Thank you for bearing with me, and I promise tomorrow I won't bite your head off.

shiver me timbers...

Today was the first really really cold day of this winter. And it probably wasn't even that cold. But we've been running around in t-shirts all month so hard blowing snow is a slight shock to the senses. Despite the initial shock of the freezing temperatures, I really don't mind the cold. Actually there's a lot about this season that I always look forward to. One of my favorite things about winter is seeing people so bundled up that the only thing that sticks out are little noses and bright red cheeks peeking between layers and scarves and stocking caps. And the way the covers feel when you've just woken up and you're all warm and wrapped up. Then, knowing how cold it will be once your feet hit the floor, you pull the covers over your head and hold onto five more minutes of cozy warmth, until you've talked yourself into braving the frigid air. Brrr. And maybe I also love how funny it feels to hold hands with gloves on, when neither person is willing to let go because, well, it's cold outside! And sledding - who can go all winter without trapsing up hills time and time again to get a mild adrenaline rush. That's probably one of the best ways to feel like a kid again. The more people that can pile on, the better, and we've gone on some crazy haphazard rides. Thank goodness the adventures resulted in only minor injuries. But more than anything, my favorite part of winter is standing in the middle of the street witnessing a perfect snowfall, when huge fluffy flakes float down all around you, in no real hurry to get anywhere; when everything slows down and it feels as if the whole world is finally, finally at peace.

crunchy soda...

Tonight was a necessary break from the busy burn-out of the workload. Apparently no one felt like eating much after stuffing themselves full of mash potatoes yesterday, which was fine with all of us. So we goofed off in the back, throwing foil balls at each other, making ridiculous drawings (Tom scribbled quite the Ninja Turtle), and well, overall managing to not get very much work done at all. The night traffic never picked up, so everyone tended to get a little rowdier. Of course we tend to have quite the characters working behind the line, so when I got drawn on with permanent marker, I would not let it stop there. Tom got a surprise "void" stamp to the back of the neck and I thought all was fair. Little did I know two of the guys were plotting against me. Tozer came out and was jabbering, as usual, and decides to pick me up, which I don't even think twice about because it's not unusual for me to be tormented occasionally. However this time he had my arms behind my back, feet off the ground, when Tom rounds the corner and plants a big stamp right on my cheek. Ack! Boy it was pretty. Thankfully, after walking red-faced to the bano it washed off easily, but they weren't off the hook. I snuck back to Tom's soda and loaded it with about three tablespoons of Kosher salt. As luck would have it I even got to see him unsuspectingly drink it. Oh, the look on his face was priceless, as was the side-bursting laughter coming from the kitchen. Apparently it went up his nose - I don't know how he managed to swallow it. Gross. But wow was it funny. Now as long as I keep looking over my shoulder - hopefully his revenge won't be quite as sweet.

over the can on...

Today is wonderful Turkey Day, or, in my world otherwise known as Ham Day. I hate turkey... it's a long story, if you know me well enough you've heard it, but I love Thanksgiving anyway - I love it a lot. For as long as I can remember we have hosted the holiday at our home, and other than the fact that it requires a lot of cleaning, (which means whining from us and begging from mom) it's always a lot of fun. Now, hosting any holiday with our family is kind of a big deal, because altogether we're pretty big. Mom has five sisters and dad has six siblings - I believe I have a total of thirty-two cousins; fifty-two if you count cousin-in-laws and second cousins (who all also get together somewhat regularly). Mom's side of the family always comes down Thursday, and dad's side on Saturday.

Traditionally, as everyone filters in, we play cards and give hugs; usually someone is running late and we start the food line without them, but that's okay. Mom makes the best Thanksgiving food I've ever witnessed - even I am willing to sample her turkey, and well, like I said, I can't stand turkey. So, as usual, there's food galore, and all the kids eat in the basement while the big people eat upstairs. I don't know if I'll ever make it up there - I don't know if I want to. The after dinner routine always requires a movie, where sometimes we make it through, sometimes we all conk out and wake up drooling - either way it gives our tummies a little time to rest.

This time we had a plethora of entertainment. The girls whizzed their way through Cranium and the boys played dodgeball basketball. There was a Saltine eating contest after dinner, which Jordan proudly won - ten crackers in four minutes... it's harder than you think! Then all the cousins joined in "Round the World Ping Pong" which got quite intense, but was mostly hilarious. We played until we were all so winded and dizzy we had to stop. Then, one of the best parts of the evening was when the old ritual of "Kick the Can" was revived. It'd been a few years - as in at least five - since we'd all been together. We probably woke up the whole neighborhood with our yelps and screams and carrying-ons, but it was well worth it. The adults were probably thankful for a break and we were content running off a small amount of our intake today. Everyone is finally headed home, and it seems as though it never lasts long enough. Tomorrow morning Justin and I are headed back up to school in the early early AM - darn jobs keep us moving. But it's been a great time home, even if I did have to put up with a few turkeys while I was here.

happy trails to you...

Four years of K-State football reluctantly came to an end for me as a student today. It's funny how much differently you treat something when you know it's going to end; as if you can absorb everything so much more than you've been able to before. So every play, every small gain, I screamed my heart out, more than any other game. Every fight song, every Wabash, every first down, I celebrated as if it were my last. Because in most ways, it was. Sure, I'll probably be back for some games now and then, but it won't be the same. Nothing ever stays the same. Life keeps on changing, continually challenging, forcing you to grow, even when you're not ready; even when inside you're kicking and screaming, digging in your heels as a last ditch effort to slow everything down, but life keeps trucking, with little regard to your opinion or preference.

So, at the end of the game, when a tribute to Coach Snyder played on the big screen, the emotions it evoked in everyone reminded me of how it was so much more than a just football program. The reason I came to this college, the amazement of my first football game, tailgating with friends, and the hugs I got as I walked down the rows - it all replayed in my head. The people surrounding me today were many of the same ones I met four years ago as a scared, nervous freshman. I remembered the Big XII game, and how it felt to win that day, with all odds stacked against us. The utter ecstatic disbelief as play after play turned into a huge upset, and we screamed and jumped and cheered in the freezing cold, on the very top row of the stadium - loving every second. It is every bit surreal today as it was then. Yes, of course one could say it's just a football game, but really it means so much more than that. And I suppose the emotion in participating in that last home game was really due to what it represented - saying goodbye to things that have been consistent support from the beginning is going to be hard. Really hard. Letting go of the people who have shaped me, broken me, changed me - it's going to hurt. So don't blame me when I dance too much or laugh too loud, or hold on a little longer than maybe I probably should. I'm just trying my best to take in every last drop - because really, it's been a great ride so far, and I'm just getting started.

synergy...

The business strategy class I am in calls for an overload of group project work, which gets rather frustrating and incredibly time consuming. They say it prepares us for the real world, when we will be in groups all the time and need to learn how to deal with that now. Fair enough. Thank goodness I have an intelligent group with decent work ethic. Well, we had all procrastinated until the very last day to finish a rough draft for a strategic analysis business plan. Dry, believe me, I know. So we all got cozy in the computer lab, knowing full well we'd be there for awhile. I was prepared to sit there for quite sometime until we were finished, I was not prepared however, for the company I would be in. The lab was packed. Granted we all have at least two group projects we are in the middle of. But Calvin lab is not designed very well for group work in the labs. And there were people every which way trying to find a seat. I kicked myself for forgetting my headphones. The creative juices were not flowing. Okay so this sounds like I just wanted to whine about my project, but really that's not it at all. I just wanted to tell the story of the interesting character I shared a desk with, and thought I should give a little background info.

First of all, this guy was big. I mean huge three hundred and some pounds huge. His friends call him "Slim". Seriously. And he was turned around backward facing partially me and partially his group. I was annoyed because I felt stared at the entire time. Granted he wasn't, but man he was right in front of me, which was distracting. The amazing thing was that the entire three hours he sat there, he did not do anything. Nothing. I couldn't believe it. He just sat there and made jokes. His group either pretended not to notice or figured it better that way. The ordeal got even better when he started getting in and out of his seat, and evertime he did, his belly hit my computer screen, and the whole thing would shake and rattle around for awhile until it could settle again. Grrr. The thing that topped the cake was when he busted out the Altoids toward the end of the night. Apparently he was running low, so he started licking the wax wrapper. Fine. That's kind of ridiculous but nothing I can't deal with. Then he proceded to lick his finger and run it all around the can to get the leftovers, which he then sucked off his fingers. Eewww. Lick finger, repeat process. Lick finger, repeat process. If he really needed more that badly I would have offered to get him a new can. Needless to say, my productivity along with my concentration at that darn computer pretty much went downhill from there. Moral of story? Brush you teeth before you come to computer lab. No, that doesn't make sense. It's okay.

runner-up...

So I decided, after much whining and convincing, to compete in intramural racquetball for the fall season. After a few initial problems (somehow I was accidentally signed up for handball, which I know nothing about) we were rolling. The first two games I won fairly easily. I'm thinking, sweet, only two more games to go. But I played Monday and lost. Badly. I got royally burned. Crap. I didn't even go into three games. I think the whole round lasted twenty minutes. It's embarrasing. So I guess that means back to the drawing board and lots more practice. I probably needed that kick in the hiney. It was humbling for certain.

In other bad news, the Cirrus had some unexpected issues to be taken care of today. In the body shop for my 3000 mile rotation, probably a thousand miles overdue (I'm sorry dad! I procrastinate!) the guy pulls me out of the office and says, uh, you might want to come look at this. Oh great. He spins my front tire and shows, besides it being completely bald which was bad enough, a section that has been rubbing wrong and is even beyond the first layer of rubber. As in big time no no. Dang it. The other one was just as bad, so the nice guy let me call my dad, and he explained to him the dealio. Get that girl some new tires. I got scolded. Thank goodness I'm so many miles away, dad misses me too much to get very upset. Not that he ever got me into too much trouble anyway. Daughters seem to have that affect on their dads. Aww soft spots.

back in black...

I haven't been able to catch up, so I'll give a few bullets to remind myself of the exciting life I lead:

- Two weeks ago my parents and brother came down for the Colorado game. We had a fun, windy tailgate and a close game. Jarrod got Liz and I into the box seats on the east side, which made us feel... well... rich and important. It was a great view.

- Halloween was a rowdy good time. Anna and I worked diligently on our costumes, and pulled off a fairly successful punk/gothic persona. Sometimes we weren't even recognized, which was part of the plan I suppose. If I knew I'd get my blonde back, I would probably dye it more often. It took five shampoos and a very black loofah to get it all washed out. At the end of the night we headed to Longhorns for some dancing. The costume contest was hilarious. And once again I love dancing. If someone can lead me around the room, I'm all yours for the evening. Anna and I had a successful trek through the park, scissors and all.

- Um... well this is just blatant bragging but I got the best test score out of all the people in my class recently, and it was a pretty big deal. Well not really, but I was proud. That was a first.

- My grandpa is doing well. His chemo treatments have been helping and besides the usual side effects, he feels a lot better. My grandma, on the other hand, is really sick. She has weak lungs and is always getting infections. It's hard to see someone who used to run around a hundred miles an hour feel so weak. But she keeps fighting. She's stubborn and I love her for it. Yes, all my stubbornness comes from that side of the family.

- In other news, that is all the news I have. I admit it, I'm a little boring right now, but I will pick up the pace. Actually I do have more to add, I'm just not in the right state of mind to write. Don't let the suspense get you.

predictable - pre·dicta·ble adj.: calculable, expected, foreseeable.

oh homecoming...

Alrighty. Long time no blog. I'm sorry! I have lots more to tell than follows, but it'll just have to wait, because trust me, you will get bored of reading pages a half about my life. Really.

Last week was homecoming, which really isn't a big deal to me because I'm not Greek (props to all their hard work), but there's a lot to enjoy anyway, so I do. Well in the chaos that involves the job quite often, we decided to be in the parade with our monstrous blimp. Yay. Everyone's happy. Great, super. Then Wednesday, two days before the big event, I'm thinking, "where the heck is the blimp? Maybe we should, uh, get it to Manhattan." Like I said, it's organized, all the time. Ha. Then I realize the only person with a super nice and big truck is working that night. Strike number two. Crap. So I call Ami, whom I miss dearly as she moved up in the world and left the little restaurant, because she knows a little bit more about such operations. She said well you have helium right? Um... nope. We need helium? And the whole idea of a float starts sounding a lot more complicated - no driver, no blimp, no helium. Oopsie. Somehow, everything got pulled together. So we're rushing around like crazy people, late for lineup with a deflated blimp and four crew to pull it together. Ingenious Ami gets brewskis and puts them in large cups with straws. Perfecto. The float suddenly doesn't seem so bad. We got the blimp up in great time, and although the wind yanked me around, it looked beautiful. With a huge yellow lab in my lap, and four people in the truck bed, we head out. Let's just say I'm not the best candy thrower. I think I took some little kids out. Seriously.

By the time we hit Aggieville it got nuts. We had t-shirts to throw and everyone started screaming "Chipotle" and yelling our names and mauling us. It was ridiculous. The crowd was huge and people were swarming everywhere. Everyone wanted us to throw them burritos. Are they serious?! At the back of the restaurant, someone got the ridiculous idea of climbing on the roof. So we did. Seven of us. And threw t-shirts down to the crowd below. Once again insanity insued. All for a t-shirt. It was a little exhilarating, as silly as that may sound. To be up that high, all grins, and all eyes on us. Okay I'm not famous. But it really did feel like our almost disastrous float was a huge success. And that was rewarding enough for me.

screw studying...

There's something about hot coffee, a perfect day, and a great friend to spend it with that gets your heart talking. I love it when I am supposed to be studying, but sometimes there are much more meaningful things to discuss. One of my favorite things about friendships is when moving past the outer layers and discovering a whole new facet to their life. Past the superficialities, common chatter, and small talk that I loathe so much, into the things that matter. I like digging deeper. And sometimes all you need is someone to listen and not say a word, for you to even hear yourself. Because sometimes life gets all mumble-jumbled and it's hard to tell what is real and what is important; what matters and what really doesn't. It can be overwhelming at times I guess. But then again I suppose that's how life is intended to be.

crazy train...

Okay I wanted to give a quick re-cap of a rather interesting Saturday game day. So here goes. Liz and I found ourselves very entertained at random tailgates to start the morning. We headed into the game about twenty minutes before it started, and I walked bravely to the front. Bam - two seats three rows up, thirty-five yard line. People all around I knew. Mom asked me about the game tonite. It wasn't until then that I realized I didn't really watch it first half. At all. I'm not sure what I was doing. Just cheering loudly for the heck of it probably. Bridge joined us second quarter and we kept on screaming. I got Liz sent up for a crowd-surfing rendevous. And although i grabbed her clutch and other loose objects, she did lose her bling-bling sunglasses in the journey. Aww.

Liz and I made a trip up to the bano and while I was trying to steer us right, she pointed out that the women's restroom was to the left. Okay. So we head in. And see a thousand unrinals. Ack! Retreat! Crap! Boys everywhere. Run away! Into a security guard. Who thinks we went in the wrong restroom on purpose. He soon realized by the look on our faces that it was on accident. Liz fell on the asphalt laughing. I tried not to pee my pants. We made it through the second half, a little colder but still having fun. Bridge and I even made it on the big-screen. Famous, I know.

As soon as the game was over we headed home to grab money and eat at Old Chicago - desparate to beat the mad rush. There was an hour wait already, so we grabbed a blink-y thingy and headed to the mall. Aahhh shoe shopping, what a wonderful sport. Then a friend of mine called and told us they (him and his friend Dave) were headed to the mall because they wanted to eat with us too. We made them play dress-up in American Eagle and found some lovely assets to their wardrobe. I loving finding clothes for boys to wear. It's so much easier than girls. Of course they didn't buy anything. But we tried. Finally our blinky went off and Bridge and I darted through the mall to get our seats. I mean I was beyond famished. The boys were stuck in the dressing rooms. Haha. An hour and a half after hilarious conversation and and goofiness ensued, we finally got the two items we ordered. A little ridiculous but worth the friendly banter. It was really nice to catch up with friends I never see.

I tried to nap when I got home, to no avail. About 2:00 Bridge and I headed on a DD run for three highly flammable wandering boys. They were ridiculously funny. It's amazing we made it safely. Or at least that my car seats were still attached. Those boys were all over the place. Entertaining doesn't even begin to describe. And of course there were hugs for everyones. And high fives. High fives everybody!

it's all in the hips...

Okay here comes another Thursday night re-cap after a heavy work-loaded week. Delicious dinner followed by some pre-celebrating before heading to the bars because Meggie is finally recouped - yay! Let's have a moment for her appendix. ----------------- Alrighty. Ryan and I headed to Fats for some fishbowls. It went down way too fast, because you see, I have an issue with straws. Put one in a drink, it'll be gone in no time. Give me a beer bottle, I'll sip on it no problem. Moral of story? Just say no to straws. Mixed with big fruity drinks. Oh what the 'ell give me another one. A lot of Ryan's friends met us out there, and my faithful friend Jeff came out too, with his ever faithful "thumbs up" following close behind. Ha ha. He has surgery on his tendon tomorrow, I think. Maybe I'll steal his brace.

Some friends then started begging to go to Joe's. Ack! Not more dancing. This can never be good. There is a strong possibility some of my inhibitions had been removed by this point. Yep. So I danced. Dang it. Mike made me take a cheap tequila shot. He seems to get very generous with the tequila after a few drinks. I'll be sure to return the favor. Of course the classic "Jump On It" started playing and more dancing ensued. If you could call it dancing. Regardless I had a great time, hilarious time - I wish I could tell all of my stories. Things were even funnier today as I recalled the random events this morning.

OH! This morning, now that was a treat. After not getting much sleep that evening, or the entire week for that matter, I was trying to squeeze in a precious hour of shut-eye before I headed to work at the break of dawn. The scene: me comfortably passed out in happy la-la dreamland. All of the sudden a blaring radio from a neighboring room comes on, and somehow manages to continue squawking (playing "Golddigger" nonetheless) and completely violating my peace. I jump out of bed looking all sorts of pretty, half dressed and blind, and proceed to smash the first button I could find with my eyes still closed. Ahhh. Quiet. Back to bed. Fifteen minutes later - same flipping thing. However this time the obnoxiousness was accompanied by an alarm clock just as loud. Are you kidding me? AAaaaauurgh! This time it gets shut it off. It's a good thing because I was about to throw the thing out the window. Wow, I love sleeping in.

pitter patter...

Tonight it is pouring down the perfect rain, neatly followed by perfect rumbling and an occasional crack of thunder. The kind of night you want to do nothing more than sit on the deck, preferrably wrapped up tight with another, drink coffee and really not think at all.

I suppose sitting in my bedroom studying for an exam with the window open and a cup of hot chocolate will have to suffice.

ba-donk-a-donk

I forgot to mention Thursday evening, which was a decent time, but the best part was picking up Anna from a house where she had dinner with her amigos from the summer. She was hilarious as usual, probably even moreso, and I quickly learned why. You can't say you are from the country until you've drank vodka from a mason jar. That's right, let's just scratch the beer part of that equation and replace with McCormick's. Delicious. Anna, you crack me up kid.

spinning wheel...

Holy cow. I have made it seven days without blogging. My apologies. It seems like life has been a little crazy lately, and now I'm not even sure why. Too much work, too much school, not enough life I suppose. I just keep running running running, wondering when I'll get caught up. Is that even possible? Probably not.

Ryan and I went out to Old Chicago this week. I tried the Blue Moon, which is garnished with an orange slice (I argued it was a big lemon, of course proved wrong when Ryan ate it). I'm up to four beers out of their 110. Bottoms up.

The best part of the evening, however, was a secret trip to the vet school to visit a German Sheppard puppy that was there to have surgery Monday. It was the best behaved dog I'd seen in a long time, not pulling on the leash, not barking or acting erratic, etc. Ryan couldn't take her because who knows where she'd end up in all his moving, but darn it she was cute. I wish we could sneak a puppy into our house. Wouldn't that be a fun mess.

Friday night I finally got to relax. Bridget and I grabbed two traditional chic-flicks and proceeded to ball our eyes out. It was a good time - throwing the roll of TP back and forth between sniffles.

And Saturday my brother came down (yay!) with his friend Dan. I had to work that night so I hope they weren't bored out of their minds. I coerced them into doing all the manly things I needed done around the house, such as hanging my curtains and pictures up on my wall. (No, I am still not officially moved in and I've been here for three months - oops.)

And finally in other news, I guess I'll toot someone else's horn. Ryan headed to the brotherly-love state this week and wowed a company with his skills. Of course I knew he would : ) So congrats to you Ryan - I hope you're as proud as I am.

crash...

i closed my eyes and listened to the thunder tonight. and then smiled. i did it to remember this morning - so i would not forget the beautiful, wonderful morning i prayed would never end. and then i cried. because it did. and because it will.

dizzy...

Last Thursday was a great time, as expected, with Anna in tow. One fishbowl already had her feeling fabulous and we were good to go. Eventually a small posse headed to Joe's to spank the planks. I don't know why I think I can dance after drinking. Someone should stop me. But an amazing thing happened at that crazy-dirty bar that night. Anna's friend started swing dancing with me, and we were having a dandy time. I passed him off to Anna so she could be in on the action and soon some of his friends joined us. His buddy said, "You want to swing dance? I'll dance with you." And he swung me around and spun me in circles after circles and behind the backs and dippity-do-dahs and more spins and turns and twirls. And he just kept dancing with me and I know I had to look as silly as all get-out with a stupid smile that would not go away. Because I'm a big sucker for great swing dancing, and as long as he didn't let go, I kept hanging on. And it's kind of a weird feeling to explain, and maybe even a cheesy one to attempt to try. But for once in a long long time I was really genuinely happy. Those care-free four minutes were like a mini-escape from the world and its troubles. Maybe that's the wonderful thing about dancing. It just does that to you.

thank you sir may i have another...

Here's an update: I think I blew a gasket in my stomach. Really. Maybe just a little one. After many hours of group project earlier this week I finally got home and needed dinner. Based on the grim outlook of my shelf on the fridge, I opted for Panera Bread. After a warm meal of soup and sandwich, Brian calls and is rarrin' to go play some racquetball which I'd promised. I thought it'd be fine. Right as we checked in eight sweaty freshmen waltzed in front of us and checked out all the racquets. Uh-oh. Brian says the doomed words, "let's run instead." Oh yeah, can't wait. So he says just one eight minute mile, which I'm thinking should be cake because, well, that just doesn't sound hard at all. That was before my first lap. And second. Panera no longer liked me after the third curve. And by the fifth lap this severe (and really I don't think I'm a girlie- pansy) pain shoots through my lower abdomen and decides to hang out for the completion of the mile. Encouraging Brian gets me to decently finish under 8min (thank goodness, that was embarrassing), however painful little tummy problem did not. It was faintly there when I woke up, and hung around all day afterward. And then the next day and the next day too. Just constantly but barely reminding me it's still around. Therefore I came to the conclusion that I blew a gasket. It's only logical.

screaming infidelities...

I'm sure everyone knows someone who does this and it's forever maddening. The guy who brings things up just to get you riled up and angry inside. The girl who almost always disagrees with what's being said, as if on purpose just to do it. Do these people enjoy being difficult? Do they just like knowing they can affect (or is that effect) a person? Or maybe they plain on enjoy being a little challenging to get along with. Man it drives me crazy. I guess it has been bugging me lately because a guy in my group in class does this all the time. It doesn't matter how hard we've worked or how much time I have put into something, it's never right, never good enough. And worse than that he points it out rudely and harshly. "Um... that's wrong". "Why'd you do it that way." Geez dude. And when he's wrong (which has been most of the time), is there any sign of admittance? Ha. It's been a personal goal to not give these arguers the satisfaction of a raised voice or hint of frustration. And that's not always easy, but usually well worth it. Because then they get flustered for not getting a typical response. And I can walk away with a satisfied smile on my face. See, I used to think I liked arguing, like it was often my fault, but Rae update - I really don't. Thank goodness. That's not to say when something is meaningful or close to me I won't raise my voice and defend my position with a little emotion. Because if necessary I get riled up. I can't help it. I think it shows passion. It shows you care for something, or someone and that's perfectly fine with me.

So I've realized that I have a blogging problem. As in I want to do it all the time. I could do it more than once a day but then I remember that my life really isn't crucially exciting, therefore I will spare all of you from boredom; although maybe you're reading this because you're bored. Interesting.

Here's a quick rundown of my week. My brother finally made the trip up here from college. And I was so happy. Don't tell anyone but I was getting a little homesick. I know - shhhhh. He met me at Kite's along with numerous beligerent friends that had way too many cheap beer towers. We painfully watched the K-State v. OU game. Bleh. That's all I have to say about that. At least my company was entertaining. Afterward we played racquetball which was pretty funny. He gets to practice against some crazy friends at school and was bringing me a challenge. We'll just say they were close games. Later Anna, Kevin, Justin, and I watched "Crash", which I recommend to rent. Wow, I've hit two great movies in a row. That's actually amazing based on my track record. I'm not sure what a Ryan Dunn review would say (haha) but I think it's at least worth a try.

This week I had two big presentations for my business classes, both of which went okay. Nope, not great, but that just goes to fault my public speaking skills. The industry analysis we did today was a group project and required many unplanned hours. Granted I get nervous as most people do before speaking in front of fifty people, so this time I attempted another approach. I figured that by putting off thinking about speaking beforehand I would remain calm and professional. I'm not sure I pulled off a "put-together" look when the second I started speaking my hands, my whole paper, AND leg was visibly shaking. Like it wasn't even part of my body. I was telling them to stop but they didn't listen; just went right on shaking for all the class to see. I made it through in 7.5 minutes. It was only supposed to be 4.5. Oops. My group went over time thanks to me. I'm just glad I didn't fall over due to uncontrollable body movements. I don't know what my deal is. Yes I'm working on it.

Besides that I'm a little exhausted due to lack of sleep - the usual complaint of college kids I suppose. I was looking forward to a nap when I got home, but haven't had time yet. Matt came over and I forced him to get ice cream with me (evil laugh). That's what he gets for surprise visits.

Other than that I guess we'll see what Thursday has yet in store. To go out or not go out... uhhh... I'm out.

and then there's aggieville...

Recently spotted on my dry erase board outside my doorway after a long and hilarious, possibly juvenile, Thursday evening:

'Dear Raechelle,
Thanks for the taco. I honestly only came in (to work) to see your beautiful hungover face, but the taco was a nice surprise. I heart: U. walks home from the bars. switching shoes. stopping to roll on the ground laughing. hugs. morning rides (in neither of our own cars). drunk heart to hearts. see you tonite.
Anna'

Thursday was quite an adventure. Anna, don't forget the part about you trying to call safe ride and me repeatedly insisting on you calling danger instead. Call danger, call danger! It's not my fault I'm scared to death of the freaking park.

Well work at 7:15 that next morning was quite pleasant. Me putting away the food order resulted in a smashed pinkie finger, a long scratch down my forearm, scraped knuckles, and a deep incision between my thumb and pointer finger. Not to mention my appearance was nothing short of stunning.

Oh how I can't wait for another Thursday, however a much less drama-filled one please. I have one class presentation down, one to go. Group meeting total this week: four and counting. I love business admin.

My apologies for a bit scattered, unorganized, and spontaneous entry today. So is my life. And, well, I thoroughly enjoy it that way.

P. S. Big news! I bought an ink cartridge yesterday. Seriously that's a big deal. I can no longer afford groceries. And after five nozzle-head cleanings it finally printed a document. Crap.

long december...

Sometimes you have to let go. Often it is very difficult to recognize that a friendship is no longer healthy, no longer rewarding, no longer worth the struggle. Because part of you wants to hold on and make things work. And it seems silly; being friends sounds so elementary, so simple. When do things get complicated? Part of you really really feels like once you get past all the drama, all the challenges, and all the muck, things will work. But they won't. They never do. There comes a point that you have to stick up for yourself and stop getting repeatedly ran over. So you pick up the pieces, pick up the past, and maybe even your dignity. Then walk away.

You are just a big game that I refuse to play. And really it's just not worth it anymore.

should be doing homework...

I was planning on telling everyone about a movie Tiffany and I were going to see last night. "Crash" was playing in Forum Hall but by the time we got there, the parking lot was swarming with cars and the theatre was packed. We had no chance. I've heard really great reviews about it, so I guess we'll be renting it soon. So much for being cultured.

Anna and I watched "Kinsey" last Friday and would highly recommend it to anyone with an open mind. The film expresses the sexual revolution that occurred in the 1940's when the book "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" was published. It is very graphic by nature, however the scenes, as well as pictures, are displayed in an educational, non-exploitative manner. Although there are arguments that Kinsey's studies were un-scientific leading to skewed results, which may very well be true, I feel moreso that society was/is unwilling to admit what may often be reality.

*Ask anyone, I'm not much of a movie buff. Okay, at all actually. So take my opinion as just that.

bambi...

The weekend was quite successful. One of my friends was in town I rarely get to see and we had a good time in the 'ville. Anna and I entertained afterward with glorious nachos that were made possible by Brian's rare find (the Tostitos on the upper shelf). Otherwise, I just might have starved. I had to forge through two 8-hour night shifts at work, much to my dismay. Sunday we got rocked and pumped out a bajillion burritos. I was in charge, and as much things that we almost ran out of, things went surprisingly smoothly. My crew was a great help.

I have a... cough cough... cough... cold with a scratchy throat. Poor me. But don't worry, when I take little kid's cough syrup, it keeps me up all night long. Oops.

On a more serious note, my family could use your prayers. My grandpa has a 95% chance of stomach cancer, which is really rare. If diagonosed correctly it's in stage four, which is the highest level possible, and he is not allowed to have surgery. Hopefully when he gets a second opinion, things will look better.

Also, on her way home from my grandparent's this weekend, mom managed to get ran over by Bambi's father. A huge buck came out of a field toward her car while a truck was passing her. The deer missed her and hit the truck, propelling the buck back into her car and off the hood. She was okay, thanks goodness. The deer was not.

crazy train...

After a chaotic morning, Anna and I headed to game. We brought our own tailgate, so if you ever need suggestions for supplies, we're pretty efficient. P. S. did I tell you Anna made me an egg-bagel sandwich this morning? Delicious.

Okay, anyway, the tailgating was perfect because just about everyone we knew was right on the pavement/grass front line, and after visting Mike's part-ee, we got to visit a whole lot more people, and Anna and I even played gladiators. Yes of course I won. She was weak.

I got to watch the first quarter plus ooohh.. five minutes of the next... but enough to see the cats score. I love football games. I love the student section. And I love the Wabash. I can't wait until KU is here. I think it's due time for Anna to crowd surf. Haha.

Now I have to go to work and have no desire or even much ability to be making salsas and serving up burritos. Dang it.

back to california...

How long I’ll wait just to say good-bye
Ten different ways to enjoy this night
Can’t do this anymore, won’t feel you anymore
How long I’ll wait just to say good-bye

You could never let me in
Holding on until the end

The time I waste just to say good-bye
Out of your way, I could do this right
Can’t see you anymore, won’t feel you anymore
How long I’ll stay just to say good-bye

Leave it all, the fights and all
Summer’s getting colder
Drive all night to hold you tight
Back to California
Days went by we waited
And I guess we’re getting older
We couldn’t win in the end

I’m miles away, turning out your lights
Ten different ways I could end this night
Can’t do this anymore, won’t feel you anymore
How long I’ll wait just to say good-bye

Leave it all, the fights and all
Summer’s getting colder
Drive all night to hold you tight
Back to California
Days went by we waited
And I guess we’re getting older
We couldn’t win in the end

--Sugarcult

i need a... job?

Okay so I did crash a lot on the water this weekend at the lake, but it was well worth it. I spent Friday evening until Sunday with a good chunk of family. And I played harder than I've gotten to all summer, which is why my shoulder blades are screaming at me now. We had a campfire both nights and sat around for hours telling stories. My wakeboard skills haven't improved much but I'll be at it again next summer.

Anyway, as an update to me freaking out when I try so hard not to, this week has been off to a much better start. I skipped the Career Fair today because my resume wasn't finished and my classes didn't get cancelled leaving no time for preparation (and I was dragging my feet which didn't help my desire). The job proposition fell through because they're looking for someone right away, and I of course won't be out until May, but I'm not discouraged. There will be many more chances.

Work cut my hours back a ton, as in I only work two days this week, which is perfect. I'll be attending the Career Fair tomorrow, hopefully with some promise and I have a test Thursday morning, then I'm home free.

Oh yeah, and yesterday Patrick beat me five out of six games in racquetball (scratch that, he won all six; he called me today on the correction. I only played well one match [13-15] oops). It was pathetic, I mean I was. Apparently I wasn't awake from my nap yet, or maybe he was on fire. My brother is challenging me to a match the next time he's down here. He's been practicing. Apparently his roomate is amazing. Oh, and he told me this weekend a guy from his school, age 22, wants to meet me. Those boys are hurting for the ladies down there if they have to check out other dude's sisters on messenger. I laughed.

freaking out...

AAAAaaaAAaaaaauuugh! Two exams, an important job application (which means type your freaking resume Rachelle!), three major projects, and the career fair. And yes I'm whining. I've been at the library all day trying to focus and not nod off. The ol' Business Law just won't sink in... I've got the basics but not at all the detailed knowledge I need. And Marketing is a lot more information than I'd planned but I'm placing my bets that it will be a little more common sense. Ha - everytime I say that it's usually a bomb. The workload I had this weekend allowed for zero to zippo studying as I was struggling to even complete all my Tuesday homework. I'm going to need to cut some major hours to get the next two weeks complete - crap!

The load is lightened because my family and cousins are headed up to the lake this weekend. Yay! And I can't wait to get on the water again, with no worries except busting on a wave, which is about as good as it gets.

bars take two...

Okay trip two to the bars proved to be much more entertaining. Friday night the guys from work called and I had Long Islands with them before heading to the 'Ville. Of course Liz and I didn't get there until 11:30 so they were closed before we blinked twice, but it was entertaining. Then I headed to Porters to meet up with Ryan and his friends. Perhaps because of everyone's level of intoxication things just seemed funnier than usual, but Ryan and Brandon had me laughing harder than I have for a long, long time. My stomach hurt. Anna joined us and we headed home soon after that. I won't tell of the scene that occurred upstairs but let's just say I was rolling on the ground laughing my posterior off and Anna is probably scarred for life. I heart you Anna and I'm still laughing.

Last weekend Ryan and I headed to Kansas City for his friend's wedding. I got an amazing tour of Louisburg (yes it took five minutes) and had a lot of fun meeting some new people, including his mom, who was incredibly nice and just as he and Anna had described. She made the wedding/reception much more enjoyable, as Ryan was pretending not to be bored out of his mind.

bar scene...

As much as I thought I wasn't ready to grow-up and leave the college scene, perhaps you could say last night was a reality check. Get me out! We ran into a bunch of people Anna and I knew which was great - until my world got a whole lot smaller really quick. Everything that happened kept reminding me of high school - when everyone knows everyone else's business. When I first got to college I was so happy to get away from all of that and live a little less dramatically. Apparently that can only last so long until friend circles start overlapping and drama rears its ugly head.

Thank goodness I now know what a little bit of normacly (if there is such a thing) feels like. I know I sometimes drive Ryan crazy with my childish streaks but I really really appreciate him helping me realize what a relationship does not have to be. You have no idea.

once it hits your lips...

It's Thursday! Finally. And I don't work the night shift - amazing! Anna and I are long overdue for a girl's night on the town. I have been in hiding for about three weeks due to stress and exhaustion, and well probably just enjoying hanging out without going out.

This semester has been a lot to get used to, and I am starting to notice the lack of friends around campus - many of which graduated in May. I miss seeing everyone. Even Anna isn't in the Kats Den when I have a break. I think I'm feeling old. Dang it. On a better note I am mostly on top of my homework/job/life schedule, which didn't feel like such a good thing after I realized how much class-work I have. The professors are on a rampage of assignments and groupwork. Bleh.

So this weekend I'm working some close shifts and hopefully getting caught up and prepared for two exams I have soon. Ryan's soccer game is in Lawrence on Saturday and I really wanted to go but my conflicting schedule doesn't allow much leniency. I'm sure those boys will be perfectly happy with an all-male mini roadtrip anyway.

Now Anna's ready and we have some planks to spank (I know I'm a cornball, I can't help it) so I'm out... and I'm sure soon enough I'll be out-out. Haha... scandalous.

P.S. Matt thanks for the enchiladas tonight - they were deeeelicious!

so long sweet summer...

I'm definitely starting to feel like this blog is probably not expressing my usual outgoing, cheerful and happy persona very accurately. So my apologies but I have more ranting and raving to express.

This week has been as close as it can get to a stressful, unorganized, chaotic mess. My neck has had a kink in it for at least three weeks - I'm pretty sure almost four. And there are knots galore in my shoulder blades. Stress I'm sure, but it was happening before school even started. I had one wonderful massage but he said I needed to come back at least twice to take care of all the tension. Sorry buddy, but on a student budget the wallet was a little too thin to begin with. Maybe that's why I've been so cranky lately. Hmmm.

On that note, school is not settling well and my un-motivation is at an all time high. Professors have been handing out gobs of ambiguous and time-consuming homework. Procrastination it at a new personal level, as I've been waking up at wee hours of the morning (okay I'm exaggerating but 6:00am feels early when I go to bed at 1:00am) just to finish the homework I was too tired to do the night before. Of course it always takes longer than expected so I'm flying out the door half dressed, searching desperately for my car keys with sack lunch, water bottle, juice, purse, cell phone and schoolbag trailing loosely behind - I know, I'm so organized. By the time I reach my first class I've broken into a sweat. Gross. At least I've made a friend so I can copy his notes when I can't keep my eyes open. Lukcy him.

Today was hectic as hell. During the forty-five minute break I waited patiently for the ID center to replace my card. All summer I was showing up as "Rick So-and-So on the Rec computer. Well little Ricky no longer has a membership so I finally had to do something about it. Which is besides the fact that it's a little bent and got stuck in the print scanners in the computer lab Tuesday. I had to pry it out with my handy-dandy spare tweezers. Yes I was embarrassed. Three full moons later the new ID printed and I was on my way.

Bridget and Brian entertained me as a shoved a turkey sandwich down my throat and chugged a double espresso. Delicious. Brian and I sprinted to the business college and I bee-lined for the computer lab, praying the machine would take my two crumpled dollars and put it on my new card. Five minutes until class. Perfect. The girl in front of me had half a million copies and then it just stopped. I think it was laughing at me, mocking me. "Ha ha you're going to be late and there's nothing you can do because you have to have the powerpoints for class." Grrr. Well I am part genius and after punching enough buttons it spit out my copies. As luck would have it we had a guest speaker that my entrance rudely interrupted. I took my frazzled self to the front of the class and slunk into my assigned seat. One more class to go.

Good news - the quiz I didn't study for was cancelled. Shwew.

I walked out to my car, trying to figure out if I should cover a shift for one of the supervisors who wanted to trade with me. He called during the middle of class with a sob story about how sick he was. Work was the last place I wanted to be today. As I neared the parking lot I caught a glimpse of a yellow envelope glaring at me from my windshield. What the crap? How did I get an $18 parking ticket when I purchased the necessary $75 pass that was... oops... still in my purse. Dang it. Once again props to me. The parking lady on the phone didn't care to hear my reasoning nor want proof that I really did own a permit. It didn't matter to them. "You just need to be more adult about it," she says. Wow. I really wanted to punch her.

After that I definitely wasn't going into work. Sorry Jeff. I guess you could say Karma is a bi-atch. There were two occasions I was in desperate need of extra hands and you were nowhere to be found. Actually you never even called back. I guess you could say I'm resentful. Sorry.

Okay so here I am complaining about life in general when I really have no place to at all. I've been watching the New Orleans hurricane catastrophe unfold and it makes me sick to my stomach. Families, infants and elderly who haven't eaten or showered in three days, enduring 98 degree weather with no place to call home. Snipers shooting at rescue workers while they search for survivors. Looters destroying what little the city has left. People of all backgrounds, beliefs and social status residing together in the Superdome - everyone on the same playing field and everyone's life forced into perspective.

Maybe sometimes a parking ticket isn't such a big deal.