my fellow Americans...

I was in Dallas this week for a work retreat. We stayed at the Magnolia hotel downtown, which turned out to be quite nice. My guest room had more square footage than my first apartment in Denver. Including a living room, dining table, full-size refrigerator, stove, oven, and heck, even the kitchen sink. Yowza.

The best part of the hotel was the location. Wednesday morning a few of us went out early for some exercise. We were able to walk by the JFK Memorial and see the grassy knoll on the north side of Elm Street, gaze up at the sixth floor of the Depository where Lee Harvey Oswald allegedly, single-handidly, and fatally shot the dearly beloved President. There are large white 'X's painted on the street, indicating where the shots occurred. It was a moving experience to stand there and take it all in. To imagine the shock and confusion. The grief and tragedy that rocked the nation shortly after.

"Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures."

-- John F. Kennedy

hole...

Letting go. Hurts.

license and registration...

Another speeding ticket. Another $90. Ack! I make it twenty-three years of my life (okay, nine legal driving years) with nothing, then I get two in five months. I had to go out of town today, thus the early morning departure... just beware of the little police car waiting for you at 75th & Roe at 5am. She'll get you every time.

Blasted.

meow...

Ever have one of those really bad days that nothing goes right, and it's hard to even drag yourself out of bed? Then, just as things are looking up, you run over a cat that came flying out of the bushes and ambushed your front bumper? Well, I hadn't either, until today.

Yes, I ran over a cat tonight. I really like cats. Unlike most of people I know, having a pet cat has been quite a delightful experience. Beginning as a bright-eyed young girl begging her dad to please please just let her have one cute little cuddly kitten - please? Pretty please Dad? I promise I will take really good care of it and play with it and scoop out the litter box and feed it and everything. In fact Dad, what a great opportunity it would be to teach me responsibility. Don't you think Dad? Look at her - she's sooo cute. So can I? Please?

I can? Really Dad? Welcome to the family, Muffin.

Well Dad, if we get one, we have to get another one. Because Muffin needs a friend; a buddy. She is going to get sooo bored if she has to hang out in the backyard all day by herself. I mean, that wouldn't even be fair - to expect her to pass her days with no one to wrestle with or chase around. How would you like it if you had to entertain yourself all day with no one to talk to Dad? I don't think Muffin would be very happy. We have to get another kitten Dad, we just have to.

Welcome to the family, Midnight. Midnight, meet Muffin - Muffin, Midnight. Oh, you're brother and sister and can't stand each other's guts? Perfect.

Muffin was the best cat in the whole world. And I don't just say that because she was my first real pet. She really was. She would let me hold her, play with her and pet her all the while her little engine just purred away. And she was always the best listener. Anytime I was upset by all the chores I had to do, or when my feelings were hurt by those mean girls on the playground, Muffin would always listen contently and didn't mind a few plump tear drops on her soft tabby striped coat once in awhile. Muffin even gave us lots and lots and LOTS of litters of kittens (not so sure Dad or Mom were as thrilled about that as Justin and I), and we always found a nice home for them.

Muffin was run over by the newspaper lady. I don't remember exactly what happened. I must have been playing in the front yard . All of the sudden the newspaper lady screamed (she must have had her windows down, because I distinctively remember her doing that) and pulled her car to the side. She jumped out and ran to the curb. I ran over to see what all the ruckus was about. Poor Muffin didn't make it through. The newspaper lady kept apologizing - she felt awful. But there's not a lot to say to a kid who's standing there dumbfounded watching her favorite pet bleed to death.

We found a good resting spot for her in the Evergreen tree row. I think Justin must have made her a little wooden cross from Dad's wood scrap pile in order to give her. I used to visit it once and awhile when I was little to tell Muffin I missed her, and that I still didn't like all my chores.

So tonight I'm driving home on Holmes, and from the middle of nowhere this thing comes flying (I mean it - full sprint, halfway in the air) into the street. I don't even have time to think about dodging it. Not a chance. Thump thump. Oh no! What was that - what did I even hit? What the heck just happened? Oh man, I hope that wasn't a dog or cat. Maybe it was a racoon. Or a badger. Or a opossum. Yeah, it was probably a opossum.

Regrettably I glanced in my rearview mirror. I think I was hoping to reassure myself that I'd imagined the whole thing. Unfortunately instead, I watched a cat, silhoutted by a street lamp, rolling across the street - finally picking itself partially off the ground and painstakingly limping and army crawling (if cats can do that) to the curb, it's little tail sticking straight up.

I really hope that was no one's pet. But if it was, I really hope Muffin was up in pet heaven waiting with open paws, welcoming the chance to have another feline friend to chase around on the clouds of mouse toys and catnip.

grey clouds...

"When it rains, I don't mind being lonely. I cry right along with the sky."

--Eli Young Band lyrics

flap jacks...

Last week during Mass, a priest delivered a homily that spoke to me in many ways. He talked about how Sundays should be time spent in community with others - not running errands, not catching up on work, not doing house chores. It should be restful time with those you love, and time treasured to build more meaningful relationships with those around you. It should be time you plan to do nothing - 'just be'. Strangely enough, today's homily closely paralleled the very same message. Okay, I'm getting the message. And as much as I've known for a long time that Sundays should be treated this way, I haven't acted on it. Not much at all, really.

So today was finally a Sunday as it should be. Or at least as close to as it should be as I've had in a long, long time. Mom was visiting, and I was so grateful to be at church with family. Afterward I introduced her to what is now my favorite selection of uber-delicious pancakes from the FirstWatch menu. She had a cranberry almond crunch, while I opted for the wheat germ. Really you can't go wrong with any of the choices. Momma quickly agreed. How wonderful it was to enjoy each other's company. No rushed phone calls, no place to go. Just time to rest within conversation with one another. And how needed it was.

Then we went shopping. And tried everything on in the entire store. Seriously, we had clothes hanging from every wall in the dressing room, until there was not a sliver of space for one more hanger. We walked out with big ol' grins on our faces.

After prepping mom's GPS for her return home, I headed to a friend's for rest and rejuvenation. We had dinner (Mexican yumminess, of course), then by his wonderful suggestion, went to Borders for coffee. And a book. One for each of us that promised direction and guidance as we begin our enlightened journeys - tromping head first and eyes closed into unknown struggles and adventures. I forgot how much I enjoy bookstores.

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." --Confucius

I haven't been doing that, and it's about darned time I start.

Bridget and Shawndra came over later. What a beautiful night with beautiful friends.

Time well spent.

will you...

My brother has officially proposed! Amber and Justin are getting married in June 2009. This weekend they took some time away from wedding planning, and joined me on an engagement photo shoot. Gotta get a picture in the local paper you know...

Below are a few samples, as well as a slideshow of what I have up so far. For a better look check out the Picasa Album.

Enjoy!

mirage...

Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas. Or perhaps, I'd moreso like to say welcome to shiny, tacky and cheap LV. As soon as I stepped off the plane, familiar thoughts were already ringing in my head (...or was that the constant chatter of slot machines?). What is this place? What am I doing here? What is anyone doing here?

My senses were overloaded instantly. The smell of stale cigarette smoke is overwhelming - drenched into the carpets, swirling around poker tables, weaving itself through every layer of clothing. For the remainder of the visit my lungs refused to take a deep breath - even walking outdoors didn't seem to remove the foggy gray haze. My eyeballs couldn't find enough places to hide. The flashing signs, flashes of skin, neon lights. Everywhere you look it's near impossible to focus. It was just as I'd remembered it from my brief visit last summer, when I'd vowed to never return.

Little did I know...

We were there for a work conference. I had been anticipating the event for a couple of months - it was the first time the company had hosted such a grand function. I walked through the hotel, past the slot machines loudly beckoning to snatch another dollar, finally realizing why I was incredibly irritated; why this city disturbed me so deeply. Its purpose - it's thriving reason for existence - is to combine all humanity's vices into one huge, exploding mess of temptation and greed.

I know, I know - this is nowhere near a new revelation, (it's not named Sin City for nothing) but the volume of madness you're immersed in while visiting completely astounds me. It's something I can't quite stomach. And hopefully I never will...

penny for your thoughts...

The Sooner State warmly greeted me this afternoon as I stepped off the plane and headed toward the rental car station. Oklahoma City to Tulsa was the goal, and with a speed limit of 75mph, the 1.5 hour drive was zipping right along. Well, sort of. Technically it was zipping along until I hit toll booth after toll both on the lonesome highway out of town. Problem. I don't carry cash. Another problem. OK Toll booths don't accept credit cards. Hello, it's 2008. So, the first check was written for $3.50. The second stop I scrounged up .$65 from my wallet. The next stop (en route to Stillwater this evening) had me writing another check for $.75. I didn't even know how to write a check that small - 'Zero Dollars and 75/100-------'. Well that's how I did it; hopefully it works.

The last toll needed a mere fifty cents. I had twenty-two cents to my name. There was no late-night toll worker manning a station. No one to take my DL# and send me a bill. I was perplexed. So in go my dimes and pennies down coin collector hatch and I drove right through the red light flashing STOP. The alarm sounded. I kept driving. Hope the police aren't waiting by my car in the morning, waiting to collect on their 28 cents.

Blasted.

night cap...

I'm confused.  And frustrated.  And not sleeping.  As if not sleeping is going to make anything better.  Mmm... probably not.

bed crumbs...

I'm in a hotel in Omaha. It's pouring down rain, and I'm leaned against the headboard snacking on crackers and cheese, watching reruns of The Office. Avoiding the lingering emails accumulated from the day. Idly perusing Facebook, almost without noticing, but it's a welcomed distraction nonetheless.

I'm tired today. Really tired. Two-trips-to-Starbucks-hold-your-eyelids-open-I'm-falling-asleep-as-I-write-this tired.

Which is probably a sign I should go to sleep now.

happy plate...

What a crazy-good weekend.

Sushi. Friends (the really awesome kind). Birthday cake. Live music. Down-pouring thunderstorm. Frisbee. BBQ. Lounge. Home-made dinner. Dancing (okay, more like drag-me-around-the-floor-and-hope-I-don't-step-on-your-toes style). Brunch. Banana-granola pancakes. Softball. Mass. Human Monopoly. Sleep. & Sleep. & Sleep.

& Sleep.

spf 45...

I can finally feel it.  The painful pink sunburn.  Flip-flop calluses.  Sticky, sweaty, glistening faces from humidity's constant presence.  Yep, it's definitely here.  And I'm not quite sure why summertime took so long to show its pretty little head. Whatever the case, I'm glad it's made an appearance.

A trip to the lake was a fine way to get things rolling.  Probably just what I needed.  Campfires.  S'mores.  Ghost-stories.  Bugs.  Boat and life-jackets.  Skis. Sunscreen. The first screaming jump into the chilly water below.

Ah, summer.  It's here.

twist & shout...

A tornado touched down on Thursday a half mile from Grandpa & Grandma's farm - 10 minutes after finishing up a rainy, windy baseball game.

When the uncles spotted the twister approaching the yelled for everyone to take cover.  Soaking wet, sixteen grandchildren crowded into the small pantry in the basement (separated from the main part of the house).  We threw in couch cushions, blankets and towels, grabbed Tupperware and stock pots to use as helmets, and covered everyone's head with a large carpet.  We were saying our Hail Mary's and Our Father's, praying the farm and those in it could stay intact.

Prayers were answered, multiple times.  Justin and I stayed for the rest of the week, and endured multiple more tornado warnings - listening to the scratchy radio in the basement, using the Sprint aircard (a lifesaver) as a radar tracker.  There was another one on Thursday, and many more on Friday - some towns endured softball-sized hail (not kidding) that left divets all over lawns and fields.

Saturday we squeaked by storm free, but onto Sunday... Justin and I were at the other Grandma's.  After lunch Aunt Kathy told me about a deluxe slip 'n' slide set up on her farm - three tarps down a hill.  Of course I couldn't resist.  My cousins and I headed out there - with dark looming clouds in the distance.  We made about ten slides down before the lightning started.  We raced back to Grandma's and packed up our bags, hoping to beat the storm.

No luck.  Right before Hays the hail was crashing down.  Crap-o.  My Aunt called her sort of neighbor, who opened their garage for us.  For the next five hours we watched radars, listened to the radio, headed to the basement, twiddled our thumbs, told stories, and played Sorry.  As weather continued crashing down they ordered us pizza, helped us feel completely welcome, and invited us to spend the night if needed.  We'd considered it, but noticed the red blobs on the radar finally started heading south of I-70.  Let's give it a try.  Rain and gigantic lightning bolts followed us to Salina, but we made it safely.  And my new car only has seven dents on the hood, roof and trunk.  Darn it!

So, no more tornadoes please.  I think we've all had enough excitement to last quite awhile.

peace...

My Grandma Heier passed away today. This morning about 10am at St. Francis Hospital in Wichita. She was a wonderful blessing to everyone she met - always a kind word, always a smile; a fighting spirit regardless of what life brought her way. And it brought a lot. There are not words to describe what an incredible source of strength she was to her family. You will be so greatly missed Grandma.

I love you Grandma.

"I love you more" she would say.

zoom zoom...

I’ve been in Kansas City three point five weeks now. Time has flown! I received my first speeding ticket ever (probably needed humbled because I was really proud of that) cruising north on I-35 last week. 74 in a 60. Oops. I wasn’t even in a hurry; just had no clue what the speed limit was, and I’d been used to 70mph freeways. But I couldn’t use the “I’m new here” excuse because my DL hadn’t been updated the entire time I was in Denver – it was still a KS license with my hometown address, so that wouldn’t have gone over well either. To top it off I didn’t even have my DL with me. Because I’m that cool. So now I get to appear in court and the charge gets knocked off. Lesson definitely learned.

play time...

Laura's idea for a small dinner birthday party turned into invitations for 25. She made tons of delicious food, including my mom's homemade chicken noodle soup recipe! Yeah, she's pretty awesome.
Ice skating in Evergreen. The ice was pretty treacherous, making it difficult to look graceful. Afterwards we had Beau Jo's pizza... nothing warms you up like thick wheat crust dipped in honey. A-maz-ing.
Ski trip to Keystone with the guys from work. I had a blast. Brandon managed to break his board, but fortunately that's the worst that happened.
Our Marian group 2008 retreat at St. Malo - it is so beautiful there. We tennis shoe skated on the small pond, and Lisa and Petreuse (the dog) played tug-of-war with her scarf. Petreuse won.

fruits & veggies...

Hi. It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged and I miss it. I’ve been meaning to, and I kept waiting because I wanted to include pictures from recent activities. But that hasn’t happened yet. So why not blog anyway? The pictures can always come later.

I’ve been officially in Kansas City for two weeks. To sum it up quickly – great friends, great house, awesome roommates, and many, many u-turns (I get lost a lot). The job is stressful. The new responsibility is stressful. And feeling like I left more than a few brain cells in Denver has been frustrating. I suppose that’s how adjusting to something new tends to be. So I’m sitting tight, hoping it won’t be long before it all makes sense again.

My parents are visiting this weekend. I have some projects already planned (hope Mom and Dad are ready!). There are only a few more boxes to unpack, curtains to hang, chairs to paint, basement storage to organize… it seems like moving is a never ending process. But I do like it here so far. I know it will be even better once the dust settles and I can figure out which direction to head in to get to the closest grocery store!

march 30

I'm moving in exactly three weeks. Yes, three. Does that seem crazy to anyone else!? And I'm realizing I'm in a bit of denial about it. It isn't that I'm not looking forward to it. Hardly the case. Just that it's snuck up so quick I feel very inadequately prepared for the transition. The packing. The figuring out new highways and byways and hole-in-the-walls and cheap car washes. The fitting in. The job.

Of course if we're talking denial let's talk about the wonderful people remaining in the beautiful mountainous state of CO. Actually, wait. Let's not talk about that. Because I'm still not dealing with that so well. And by not dealing with it I mean not thinking about it, because if I spend time doing that a guaranteed emotional breakdown will follow. And I'm not ready for that right now either.

sunny delight...

Hi. Friday some friends and I headed to Summit County to crash for the evening and get a head start on the fresh snow that fell at Copper through the night. We skiied until our legs could take no more, then cut out at 2pm and enjoyed the (rarely) unclogged traffic on I-70. Later that night I went to see a movie with friends. It was a theatre I hadn't been to - small and eclectic; we had to wait in a long outside to get tickets. Upstairs they served mixed drinks and brews. If you haven't seen Juno yet, I recommend it. A lot.

Today I ran errands in shorts and flip-flops. For lunch I walked to my friendly neighborhood burrito joint. I washed and vacuumed my car. (A dorky reason that I love Colorado - everyone's vehicles are covered from head to toe with grayish-brown road sludge caused by all the junk they dump on the roads to melt snow; also a sign that people have been playing in the mountains - ahh). A friend made me chili for dinner. Complete with cornbread muffins.

Denver is a great city. Sometimes it's hard to take it all in. Breathe it, absorb it.

I'm going to miss it.