I feel like such a hypocrite. Just last night I was talking to friends about how strongly I feel online networking and instant messaging systems suck our time into a big black hole - spending hours and hours a day (track it sometime for a fun personal development exercise) perusing others' updates, checking out old classmate's new baby photos, trying to figure out exactly how that person knows another person. Just thinking about it makes my brain spin. But that's exactly what I spent a good hour this evening doing. Bah!
And as much as these communication venues have their place (believe me, Facebook has made it a whole lot easier to continue contact with people you've recently met) I'm worried we're spending much more time on the keyboard than over a cup of coffee. I worry we're living in this alter-reality world in which we discover so much information about our friends (or, I'd argue, acquaintances), without truly knowing them. We see their wild nights out in play by play or learn from an update they're having a bad day and are frustrated with their boss, but on an emotional level we have no idea who this person is, and not a clue of their true essence, passion, ideas, goals.
We click through pages and pages of people's information (and why some are so willing to provide so much... that would take an entirely different day to deal with) yet it's highly unlikely we'll even be invited to their wedding, or visit them after the birth of their first, second, third child. We won't hang out with them on weekends, or fly to visit them once a year.
Instead we sit, almost anonymously, behind a glowing monitor, making half-hearted attempts to re-connect with old friends, or sort-of-kind-of friends. We make funny wall posts, browse pages of updates, and try to connect the dots. We message things we don't really mean. We say things we'd never say in person. We criticize, we gossip, we waste our precious, precious time.
But I'd like to propose a change. A shift. A step back into the good ol' days. Back to a time when neighbors didn't call to see if you were home, but instead just swung by and knocked. Back to a day when we could just be with those we care about, or even those we'd like to know more, either goofing off or in great conversation - building friendships and trust in a very real, very personal way.
Someday I imagine we'll be able to look back on our lives (if only briefly) and analyze the choices we made and actions we took. I know if I look back and realize I've spent most of my time burning the midnight oil on Joe Schmo's Facebook page, after page, after page, I'll be more than kicking myself.
We were put on this great and beautiful earth to LIVE. And not just to live, but to live fully. Go out a make a difference in someone's life today. The real, in-person kind of difference. Be interested in them, learn about them, experience their feelings and frustrations and happiness. I guarantee that will feel so much better than having 574+ friends added online.
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