Tonight is a lonely night. Thoughts spin around my head until I feel dizzy and disoriented. And although it's quiet in my room, even throughout the house, my mind reverberates with loud, clanging and unconnected pieces and parts. I want to sleep but haven't been sleeping well. Last night I dreamt I was in an airplane when the engine stalled and we began free falling. I started praying, preparing to die. Everyone around me was doing the same. At the last moment the engine caught and we swooped upward, seconds from crashing into the city below. Immediately after realizing we were going to be okay, I swore off flying forever. I felt better after that, peaceful almost. Like I had some sort of control in this crazy life - I never had to get on an airplane again.
Maybe I'm homesick. Above is a photo of my Dad taken Easter weekend. It's his playful sad face. I think it's his basset hound face... imitating our beloved puppy, Missy. Or maybe it's because he couldn't find enough hidden eggs for his Easter basket. I loved being back, loved spending time with the family cooking, playing, storytelling. Just being. I wish they lived closer, so we could just be more often. I hope they know how much I love them. How can you ever show someone enough?
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