above all else...

It's amazing the things you realize over a Frosty and frenchfries. And maybe what I have learned isn't actually anything new. Sometimes it just takes a dose of reality to remind you of what you've always known (as well as a great roommate). My findings are quite uncomplicated really, and I don't know what took me so long to stumble upon them. Either way, it was not until tonight that I realized how easy it is to convince yourself of something or someone when you wish it were the truth. You see, I believe fully in the ability of a woman's intuition. Often times I just choose to blantantly ignore it and hope it goes away, or stuff it down further inside thinking the constant tug will fade. And then eventually the fallacy you are living does not seem so unrealistic afterall, and you convince yourself that what is happening is the right thing, and that you really are happy. You just go on living this way, ignoring how you really feel because it's convenient at the time. Perhaps it is a safe place to hide, protected for a while longer and then a while longer from life's harshness and realities.

But the truth always catches up to you. Real life eventually finds a way to show itself - when everything finally makes sense and all the loose ends come full circle. It is a lot of information to handle. First it made me angry, really really angry. And after that rush of emotion passed, I felt hurt and used, foolish and disappointed and frustrated and annoyed, and well, still angry. So I looked for answers and searched for the truth, and pointed my finger at the person who hurt me. But in the end I am left to face the blatant, obvious truth. When all is said and done, I have no one to blame but myself, because deep down, way deep in the bottom of my stomach, I knew it all along. I always, always knew.

Listen to yourself, chances are you already know the answer.