happy trails to you...

Four years of K-State football reluctantly came to an end for me as a student today. It's funny how much differently you treat something when you know it's going to end; as if you can absorb everything so much more than you've been able to before. So every play, every small gain, I screamed my heart out, more than any other game. Every fight song, every Wabash, every first down, I celebrated as if it were my last. Because in most ways, it was. Sure, I'll probably be back for some games now and then, but it won't be the same. Nothing ever stays the same. Life keeps on changing, continually challenging, forcing you to grow, even when you're not ready; even when inside you're kicking and screaming, digging in your heels as a last ditch effort to slow everything down, but life keeps trucking, with little regard to your opinion or preference.

So, at the end of the game, when a tribute to Coach Snyder played on the big screen, the emotions it evoked in everyone reminded me of how it was so much more than a just football program. The reason I came to this college, the amazement of my first football game, tailgating with friends, and the hugs I got as I walked down the rows - it all replayed in my head. The people surrounding me today were many of the same ones I met four years ago as a scared, nervous freshman. I remembered the Big XII game, and how it felt to win that day, with all odds stacked against us. The utter ecstatic disbelief as play after play turned into a huge upset, and we screamed and jumped and cheered in the freezing cold, on the very top row of the stadium - loving every second. It is every bit surreal today as it was then. Yes, of course one could say it's just a football game, but really it means so much more than that. And I suppose the emotion in participating in that last home game was really due to what it represented - saying goodbye to things that have been consistent support from the beginning is going to be hard. Really hard. Letting go of the people who have shaped me, broken me, changed me - it's going to hurt. So don't blame me when I dance too much or laugh too loud, or hold on a little longer than maybe I probably should. I'm just trying my best to take in every last drop - because really, it's been a great ride so far, and I'm just getting started.