screw studying...

There's something about hot coffee, a perfect day, and a great friend to spend it with that gets your heart talking. I love it when I am supposed to be studying, but sometimes there are much more meaningful things to discuss. One of my favorite things about friendships is when moving past the outer layers and discovering a whole new facet to their life. Past the superficialities, common chatter, and small talk that I loathe so much, into the things that matter. I like digging deeper. And sometimes all you need is someone to listen and not say a word, for you to even hear yourself. Because sometimes life gets all mumble-jumbled and it's hard to tell what is real and what is important; what matters and what really doesn't. It can be overwhelming at times I guess. But then again I suppose that's how life is intended to be.

crazy train...

Okay I wanted to give a quick re-cap of a rather interesting Saturday game day. So here goes. Liz and I found ourselves very entertained at random tailgates to start the morning. We headed into the game about twenty minutes before it started, and I walked bravely to the front. Bam - two seats three rows up, thirty-five yard line. People all around I knew. Mom asked me about the game tonite. It wasn't until then that I realized I didn't really watch it first half. At all. I'm not sure what I was doing. Just cheering loudly for the heck of it probably. Bridge joined us second quarter and we kept on screaming. I got Liz sent up for a crowd-surfing rendevous. And although i grabbed her clutch and other loose objects, she did lose her bling-bling sunglasses in the journey. Aww.

Liz and I made a trip up to the bano and while I was trying to steer us right, she pointed out that the women's restroom was to the left. Okay. So we head in. And see a thousand unrinals. Ack! Retreat! Crap! Boys everywhere. Run away! Into a security guard. Who thinks we went in the wrong restroom on purpose. He soon realized by the look on our faces that it was on accident. Liz fell on the asphalt laughing. I tried not to pee my pants. We made it through the second half, a little colder but still having fun. Bridge and I even made it on the big-screen. Famous, I know.

As soon as the game was over we headed home to grab money and eat at Old Chicago - desparate to beat the mad rush. There was an hour wait already, so we grabbed a blink-y thingy and headed to the mall. Aahhh shoe shopping, what a wonderful sport. Then a friend of mine called and told us they (him and his friend Dave) were headed to the mall because they wanted to eat with us too. We made them play dress-up in American Eagle and found some lovely assets to their wardrobe. I loving finding clothes for boys to wear. It's so much easier than girls. Of course they didn't buy anything. But we tried. Finally our blinky went off and Bridge and I darted through the mall to get our seats. I mean I was beyond famished. The boys were stuck in the dressing rooms. Haha. An hour and a half after hilarious conversation and and goofiness ensued, we finally got the two items we ordered. A little ridiculous but worth the friendly banter. It was really nice to catch up with friends I never see.

I tried to nap when I got home, to no avail. About 2:00 Bridge and I headed on a DD run for three highly flammable wandering boys. They were ridiculously funny. It's amazing we made it safely. Or at least that my car seats were still attached. Those boys were all over the place. Entertaining doesn't even begin to describe. And of course there were hugs for everyones. And high fives. High fives everybody!

it's all in the hips...

Okay here comes another Thursday night re-cap after a heavy work-loaded week. Delicious dinner followed by some pre-celebrating before heading to the bars because Meggie is finally recouped - yay! Let's have a moment for her appendix. ----------------- Alrighty. Ryan and I headed to Fats for some fishbowls. It went down way too fast, because you see, I have an issue with straws. Put one in a drink, it'll be gone in no time. Give me a beer bottle, I'll sip on it no problem. Moral of story? Just say no to straws. Mixed with big fruity drinks. Oh what the 'ell give me another one. A lot of Ryan's friends met us out there, and my faithful friend Jeff came out too, with his ever faithful "thumbs up" following close behind. Ha ha. He has surgery on his tendon tomorrow, I think. Maybe I'll steal his brace.

Some friends then started begging to go to Joe's. Ack! Not more dancing. This can never be good. There is a strong possibility some of my inhibitions had been removed by this point. Yep. So I danced. Dang it. Mike made me take a cheap tequila shot. He seems to get very generous with the tequila after a few drinks. I'll be sure to return the favor. Of course the classic "Jump On It" started playing and more dancing ensued. If you could call it dancing. Regardless I had a great time, hilarious time - I wish I could tell all of my stories. Things were even funnier today as I recalled the random events this morning.

OH! This morning, now that was a treat. After not getting much sleep that evening, or the entire week for that matter, I was trying to squeeze in a precious hour of shut-eye before I headed to work at the break of dawn. The scene: me comfortably passed out in happy la-la dreamland. All of the sudden a blaring radio from a neighboring room comes on, and somehow manages to continue squawking (playing "Golddigger" nonetheless) and completely violating my peace. I jump out of bed looking all sorts of pretty, half dressed and blind, and proceed to smash the first button I could find with my eyes still closed. Ahhh. Quiet. Back to bed. Fifteen minutes later - same flipping thing. However this time the obnoxiousness was accompanied by an alarm clock just as loud. Are you kidding me? AAaaaauurgh! This time it gets shut it off. It's a good thing because I was about to throw the thing out the window. Wow, I love sleeping in.

pitter patter...

Tonight it is pouring down the perfect rain, neatly followed by perfect rumbling and an occasional crack of thunder. The kind of night you want to do nothing more than sit on the deck, preferrably wrapped up tight with another, drink coffee and really not think at all.

I suppose sitting in my bedroom studying for an exam with the window open and a cup of hot chocolate will have to suffice.

ba-donk-a-donk

I forgot to mention Thursday evening, which was a decent time, but the best part was picking up Anna from a house where she had dinner with her amigos from the summer. She was hilarious as usual, probably even moreso, and I quickly learned why. You can't say you are from the country until you've drank vodka from a mason jar. That's right, let's just scratch the beer part of that equation and replace with McCormick's. Delicious. Anna, you crack me up kid.

spinning wheel...

Holy cow. I have made it seven days without blogging. My apologies. It seems like life has been a little crazy lately, and now I'm not even sure why. Too much work, too much school, not enough life I suppose. I just keep running running running, wondering when I'll get caught up. Is that even possible? Probably not.

Ryan and I went out to Old Chicago this week. I tried the Blue Moon, which is garnished with an orange slice (I argued it was a big lemon, of course proved wrong when Ryan ate it). I'm up to four beers out of their 110. Bottoms up.

The best part of the evening, however, was a secret trip to the vet school to visit a German Sheppard puppy that was there to have surgery Monday. It was the best behaved dog I'd seen in a long time, not pulling on the leash, not barking or acting erratic, etc. Ryan couldn't take her because who knows where she'd end up in all his moving, but darn it she was cute. I wish we could sneak a puppy into our house. Wouldn't that be a fun mess.

Friday night I finally got to relax. Bridget and I grabbed two traditional chic-flicks and proceeded to ball our eyes out. It was a good time - throwing the roll of TP back and forth between sniffles.

And Saturday my brother came down (yay!) with his friend Dan. I had to work that night so I hope they weren't bored out of their minds. I coerced them into doing all the manly things I needed done around the house, such as hanging my curtains and pictures up on my wall. (No, I am still not officially moved in and I've been here for three months - oops.)

And finally in other news, I guess I'll toot someone else's horn. Ryan headed to the brotherly-love state this week and wowed a company with his skills. Of course I knew he would : ) So congrats to you Ryan - I hope you're as proud as I am.

crash...

i closed my eyes and listened to the thunder tonight. and then smiled. i did it to remember this morning - so i would not forget the beautiful, wonderful morning i prayed would never end. and then i cried. because it did. and because it will.

dizzy...

Last Thursday was a great time, as expected, with Anna in tow. One fishbowl already had her feeling fabulous and we were good to go. Eventually a small posse headed to Joe's to spank the planks. I don't know why I think I can dance after drinking. Someone should stop me. But an amazing thing happened at that crazy-dirty bar that night. Anna's friend started swing dancing with me, and we were having a dandy time. I passed him off to Anna so she could be in on the action and soon some of his friends joined us. His buddy said, "You want to swing dance? I'll dance with you." And he swung me around and spun me in circles after circles and behind the backs and dippity-do-dahs and more spins and turns and twirls. And he just kept dancing with me and I know I had to look as silly as all get-out with a stupid smile that would not go away. Because I'm a big sucker for great swing dancing, and as long as he didn't let go, I kept hanging on. And it's kind of a weird feeling to explain, and maybe even a cheesy one to attempt to try. But for once in a long long time I was really genuinely happy. Those care-free four minutes were like a mini-escape from the world and its troubles. Maybe that's the wonderful thing about dancing. It just does that to you.

thank you sir may i have another...

Here's an update: I think I blew a gasket in my stomach. Really. Maybe just a little one. After many hours of group project earlier this week I finally got home and needed dinner. Based on the grim outlook of my shelf on the fridge, I opted for Panera Bread. After a warm meal of soup and sandwich, Brian calls and is rarrin' to go play some racquetball which I'd promised. I thought it'd be fine. Right as we checked in eight sweaty freshmen waltzed in front of us and checked out all the racquets. Uh-oh. Brian says the doomed words, "let's run instead." Oh yeah, can't wait. So he says just one eight minute mile, which I'm thinking should be cake because, well, that just doesn't sound hard at all. That was before my first lap. And second. Panera no longer liked me after the third curve. And by the fifth lap this severe (and really I don't think I'm a girlie- pansy) pain shoots through my lower abdomen and decides to hang out for the completion of the mile. Encouraging Brian gets me to decently finish under 8min (thank goodness, that was embarrassing), however painful little tummy problem did not. It was faintly there when I woke up, and hung around all day afterward. And then the next day and the next day too. Just constantly but barely reminding me it's still around. Therefore I came to the conclusion that I blew a gasket. It's only logical.

screaming infidelities...

I'm sure everyone knows someone who does this and it's forever maddening. The guy who brings things up just to get you riled up and angry inside. The girl who almost always disagrees with what's being said, as if on purpose just to do it. Do these people enjoy being difficult? Do they just like knowing they can affect (or is that effect) a person? Or maybe they plain on enjoy being a little challenging to get along with. Man it drives me crazy. I guess it has been bugging me lately because a guy in my group in class does this all the time. It doesn't matter how hard we've worked or how much time I have put into something, it's never right, never good enough. And worse than that he points it out rudely and harshly. "Um... that's wrong". "Why'd you do it that way." Geez dude. And when he's wrong (which has been most of the time), is there any sign of admittance? Ha. It's been a personal goal to not give these arguers the satisfaction of a raised voice or hint of frustration. And that's not always easy, but usually well worth it. Because then they get flustered for not getting a typical response. And I can walk away with a satisfied smile on my face. See, I used to think I liked arguing, like it was often my fault, but Rae update - I really don't. Thank goodness. That's not to say when something is meaningful or close to me I won't raise my voice and defend my position with a little emotion. Because if necessary I get riled up. I can't help it. I think it shows passion. It shows you care for something, or someone and that's perfectly fine with me.

So I've realized that I have a blogging problem. As in I want to do it all the time. I could do it more than once a day but then I remember that my life really isn't crucially exciting, therefore I will spare all of you from boredom; although maybe you're reading this because you're bored. Interesting.

Here's a quick rundown of my week. My brother finally made the trip up here from college. And I was so happy. Don't tell anyone but I was getting a little homesick. I know - shhhhh. He met me at Kite's along with numerous beligerent friends that had way too many cheap beer towers. We painfully watched the K-State v. OU game. Bleh. That's all I have to say about that. At least my company was entertaining. Afterward we played racquetball which was pretty funny. He gets to practice against some crazy friends at school and was bringing me a challenge. We'll just say they were close games. Later Anna, Kevin, Justin, and I watched "Crash", which I recommend to rent. Wow, I've hit two great movies in a row. That's actually amazing based on my track record. I'm not sure what a Ryan Dunn review would say (haha) but I think it's at least worth a try.

This week I had two big presentations for my business classes, both of which went okay. Nope, not great, but that just goes to fault my public speaking skills. The industry analysis we did today was a group project and required many unplanned hours. Granted I get nervous as most people do before speaking in front of fifty people, so this time I attempted another approach. I figured that by putting off thinking about speaking beforehand I would remain calm and professional. I'm not sure I pulled off a "put-together" look when the second I started speaking my hands, my whole paper, AND leg was visibly shaking. Like it wasn't even part of my body. I was telling them to stop but they didn't listen; just went right on shaking for all the class to see. I made it through in 7.5 minutes. It was only supposed to be 4.5. Oops. My group went over time thanks to me. I'm just glad I didn't fall over due to uncontrollable body movements. I don't know what my deal is. Yes I'm working on it.

Besides that I'm a little exhausted due to lack of sleep - the usual complaint of college kids I suppose. I was looking forward to a nap when I got home, but haven't had time yet. Matt came over and I forced him to get ice cream with me (evil laugh). That's what he gets for surprise visits.

Other than that I guess we'll see what Thursday has yet in store. To go out or not go out... uhhh... I'm out.

and then there's aggieville...

Recently spotted on my dry erase board outside my doorway after a long and hilarious, possibly juvenile, Thursday evening:

'Dear Raechelle,
Thanks for the taco. I honestly only came in (to work) to see your beautiful hungover face, but the taco was a nice surprise. I heart: U. walks home from the bars. switching shoes. stopping to roll on the ground laughing. hugs. morning rides (in neither of our own cars). drunk heart to hearts. see you tonite.
Anna'

Thursday was quite an adventure. Anna, don't forget the part about you trying to call safe ride and me repeatedly insisting on you calling danger instead. Call danger, call danger! It's not my fault I'm scared to death of the freaking park.

Well work at 7:15 that next morning was quite pleasant. Me putting away the food order resulted in a smashed pinkie finger, a long scratch down my forearm, scraped knuckles, and a deep incision between my thumb and pointer finger. Not to mention my appearance was nothing short of stunning.

Oh how I can't wait for another Thursday, however a much less drama-filled one please. I have one class presentation down, one to go. Group meeting total this week: four and counting. I love business admin.

My apologies for a bit scattered, unorganized, and spontaneous entry today. So is my life. And, well, I thoroughly enjoy it that way.

P. S. Big news! I bought an ink cartridge yesterday. Seriously that's a big deal. I can no longer afford groceries. And after five nozzle-head cleanings it finally printed a document. Crap.

long december...

Sometimes you have to let go. Often it is very difficult to recognize that a friendship is no longer healthy, no longer rewarding, no longer worth the struggle. Because part of you wants to hold on and make things work. And it seems silly; being friends sounds so elementary, so simple. When do things get complicated? Part of you really really feels like once you get past all the drama, all the challenges, and all the muck, things will work. But they won't. They never do. There comes a point that you have to stick up for yourself and stop getting repeatedly ran over. So you pick up the pieces, pick up the past, and maybe even your dignity. Then walk away.

You are just a big game that I refuse to play. And really it's just not worth it anymore.