i'm sorry, you have reached a number that has been...

I left my phone at home today and I missed it a little... wondering what planning for the weekend texts I'd be missing, and who had called throughout the day. I raced home through rush-hour traffic (thankfully full of green lights this go 'round - yay!) and ran upstairs to the little black flip-phone sitting on a lonely corner of my desk. Quickly flicked it open to see what I'd missed.

Then ate some humble soup for dinner.

Which brings me to the second wonderful thing that's happened since the job change. My phone doesn't ring. Well, not often anyway. Compared to the 30+ daily that used to be the norm. Back when my head wanted to fall off my neck in order to stop the insanity. Can anyone say sigh of relief? I can - ten times fast. Now, when it does ring, it's always a friend. Or my Momma saying hello. Or Dad calling with a funny story. And it's so weird. Like a mini-birthday gift each time the ringer sounds. No more flinching or cringing. No more crammed full voicemail inboxes. Just real, happy conversations with friends and family.

Aaaaand. One more thing. This phone only needs charged once every three days. Compared to evil Blackberry who required - no I am not kidding - three charges per day. Ah, the bliss of it all.

Okay, now back to my humble soup.



Please ignore the stain on my dress. Ahem. It was Fourth of July. Lots of food flying around. Craziness and celebration. I don't know what happened. I don't want to talk about it. Just appreciate the Americana of it all.

smokin'...

One of the benefits of having the new (er... gently used for the past twelve years) car back my possession - it does not have a thermometer. Perfect for the sweltering, absolutely stifling 106 degree days we've had in Kansas City recently. It's so dang hot I don't even WANT to know what the temperature is. Thank you little car for sparing me the knowledge.

Swanky black Volvo tended to torture me with such information.

go shorty, it's your... uh, nevermind...

Today was exciting. After years of wondering, tippy-toes, and stretching the truth on high school sports rosters, I finally learned my real height. The kind without tennis shoes or socks, or thin flimsy flip flops. I think a part of me I didn't even know was missing was been fulfilled. All 5'3" of me, happily feels more complete.

Thank you Nurse Faith for taking me back to the scale/measuring tape thingiemajig in the hallway to solve that mystery. I'm really grateful. Really a whole lot. And thanks also for wanting me to take pictures of your puppies. You pretty much made my day all the way around.

say aaaaaaahh...

Tomorrow starts (approximately) Step #39 on the life change checklist. It's my first day on the job after four years of human resources and my first new job since college. Soon I will be flossing and polishing teeth! (I'm not sure exactly how soon "soon" really means, but I will be, soon enough - volunteers welcome.) After talking to people about my new gig, many of them look at me and cock their head to the side as if asking, "uhh... say that again - you're doing... wha?"

I'm really thrilled at the opportunity of working with a friend in an office that is uplifting, busy, and very patient-oriented. The window view doesn't hurt either. ...Or the fact that I get to wear scrubs everyday. I'm thrilled at the opportunity to learn new things (so far here's what I've got: you have - typically - 32 teeth in your mouth. They are numbered starting with #1 at your top right molar and working around your mouth counter-clockwise to your bottom left molar, #32. I'm excited to be challenged and stretched with something totally foreign to me. About the only thing I know about teeth is they should be brushed twice a day and flossed daily. Don't tell my dentist - sometimes (often) I floss instead of brushing at night. A friend guessed it's because it's rewarding to me - to see the gunk squashed between teeth all day finally set free. She's probably right. I'm weird like that.

And so, new adventures await. Molars, incisors, gums, and cavities beware. I've got a whole lot of learning to do.

i've got sunshine...

Back in the day. Waaaaay back - think Eighth-Grade-twelve-years-ago-ack!-back - my Dad (and Mom) took a great big leap of faith. Dad was working at the gas company. To my youthful understanding, his job consisted of recording meter readings, fixing things that broke, and occasionally going on calls out of town to fix other things that broke. Now, Dad is insanely amazing at fixing broken things, but working there didn't bring him fulfillment. He was dissatisfied, longing, missing something. He and Mom prayed. And prayed and prayed. And eventually made the decision to leave his job, go back to school, and eventually start his own business in heating and air-conditioning. I can't tell this story without mentioning how truly incredible of a feat this was on my parents' end. Picture this: Mom, working at the hospital as an administrative assistant (equals great benefits, not-so-great pay), Dad, now out of work and paying for tuition. He temporarily moves to a different small town in Western Kansas and lives in the dorms on campus. Yep. Living in the dorms at age 39, Dad moved in with a 20-something roommate and began his college life. This also means our family now had a more measly income than it did before. And we seemed to manage okay. I don't remember being traumatized over much (okay, maybe I threw a few fits about not getting to have numerous pairs of jeans from the Buckle or being forced to buy my own Dr. Martens, but other than that... - I mean come ON Mom! I'm going to be in high school next year and in order to have any chance of being socially accepted because of super-artificial qualities like brand name clothing, expensive jeans and shoes are my only hope - DUH!). I actually was traumatized by one thing. Turkey. Momma made too much turkey for Thanksgiving (gobs of way too much turkey) that year and she loaded up ours and Dad's freezer full of turkey surprise leftover meals. We had turkey noodle soup, turkey casseroles, turkey enchiladas, turkey + anything else that's in the pantry is fair game meals. You name it, just switch out the typical protein of choice with... gobble gobble. Yes, I'm scarred. I just recently started eating turkey again. Thanksgiving has never been the same.

I don't know what it was really like for Mom and Dad during this year of Dad at college. I just know it had to be hard. Crazy, challenging, difficult, lonely. Dad came home every weekend. He drove two and a half hours one way, arrived home late Friday evenings, spent time with us, then headed back Sunday night. Every single weekend. He didn't even miss a single volleyball/basketball game I played. IN EIGHTH GRADE! Have you watched eighth graders play either of those sports lately? Sorry, I had to pause from typing to stifle a yawn. We played our best, but we were hardly super-star athletes. And Dad traveled to watch every game, rain or shine. Hello, unconditional love and support. I hope one day I'm able to understand that kind of dedication and sacrifice. I'm absolutely thankful for all the sacrifices Mom and Dad made throughout that year. What a doozy. Then, almost as quickly as he began, Dad graduated - top of his class! He moved back home, and he and Mom started the new adventure of owning their own business.

I share this with you in order to help you understand, maybe a little more fully, where I'm coming from. My parents and their life are one of my greatest inspirations. Not just because of what they have accomplished in building a business - that's not even the half of it. It's because of who they are as role models, teachers, risk-takers. They have allowed me to grow and be challenged. They make time to be together, and always make time for our family. They sacrifice - their time, their energy, their plans - in order to build stronger relationships, friendships and family. They put God first. And they allow us to dream. They understand money is not the important thing. Success is not the important thing. They even recognize security, in the traditional sense, is not the most important thing. Instead, being wise with what you've been given and living a life of fulfillment - surrounded by those who support you, love you, make time to be with you - is what matters. Finding your talents and treasures and sharing them with the world is important. Being in relationship is extremely important. Life is in those things.

And that, my friend, is why, after six years with an incredible company, an amazing brand and wonderful people to work with, it's time for me to say goodbye, and follow the call - the unexplainable pull - to find a life of fulfillment - in family, relationships, work, and play.

Thank you Mom and Dad for your sacrifices and love in showing us what's important in life. I am insanely grateful for your unending support of my crazy dreams. I want to be just like you when I grow up. Ummm... if I ever grow up.

garden blend...

And now for the cucumber soup... I wanted a refreshing summertime side dish for meals, and this recipe in Real Simple looked intriguing enough to give a whirl. It blends basil (from Jana's garden - yay!) and jalapenos and onion and lime juice. Salt and pepper. Sour cream. And lots of cucumbers. Don't wrinkle your nose. It is really good! My roommate Renee says so. Cucumbery, or course with a melding of basil and lime juice followed by a deep but brief and unexpected heat from the jalapenos.

flippity...

Time for another quick update. Yesterday was a cook-a-thon for Renee and I. I had a few recipes I'd been wanting to try, and she wanted to master crepes. So away we went. The kitchen was crazy chaos for awhile, but eating crepes for breakfast and lunch made it worth it. Side note - next goal is to document everything with the same directional layout. Not loving this horizontal/vertical combo thing going on. Oopsies.

kalamata...

Hi. I'm behind on posts. Or ahead on photos or something. Either way, there is a lot to tell/show, so I'm attempting to do so quickly. A few things to note. I love food - cooking it/creating it/ tasting it/making yumminess. I really like trying new recipes that seem to have the flavor profiles that never let me down. So prepare yourself for lots of food photos. Renee and I are cooking up a storm this summer. Hold onto your seats. Also, I don't know if anyone really wants recipes so I'll spare you, but if you do, give me a shout and I'll post.

First of all - the Overland Park Greek Festival. Again, food. But not anything I prepared. There were also dancing groups of all ages, and lots of shouts of "Opa!" It's a can't miss event. Come Denver or KC, at the Greek Fest I shall be.

serenity...

By mistake I started a personal project. It's called carry my camera with me (almost) everywhere I go, and when the spirit moves, take photos. It started with the drive through Abilene to Justin's farm. The puffy clouds and vivid green wheat - I couldn't pass it by. I had too many times before, and missed the privilege to share the breathtaking scenes. It continued with the journey to Western Kansas. The thick rain clouds, the setting sun, the old windmill. I had to stop. Pulled over on the country road, breathed in the wonderful country air, and felt simply surrounded by peace. No noise. No distractions. Just quiet, simple peace.

Yesterday it happened again. On the way back from Lawrence, before stopping for fuel in DeSoto. The gas station was to the left. And for unknown reasons I went right. The curve in the road took me past old buildings and rumbling semi-trucks to a barb wire fence and a blocked of entrance with a 'DANGER - Do Not Enter' warning. There were also purple flowers (uh, weeds). In the ditch and on the edges of the road. And there goes the camera. Click clickety click. A strange peace again. I'd like to think of it as God's way of saying slow down - look around at all this beauty that I've created. It's here for you to enjoy. Just make sure you take time to do so.

And I thought I could do a small part by passing on the beauty via a blog post. Not much maybe, but a little something to share.

when the lights go out...

Ah, the last couple months have been filled with such great stuff. I feel guilty for not sharing more often. There's so much more, but I was going through photos tonight and wanted to quickly share. So, in order of occurrence, not importance... 1) Mom celebrated a beautiful birthday last week and Dad took us all out to the Kirby House in Abilene for dinner. It was so yummy... salmon and dill something or other with mashed potatoes for me. Wow. We left as the sun was lighting up the bright orange sky. 2) Amber, her sister, Tiffany, and I secretly whipped up homemade ice cream while my Brother and Dad distracted Mom in the living room with really boring stories. They actually didn't have to try very hard though, because the one margarita Mom had at dinner had her dozing off like a little bambino. We woke her up with 25 burning candles. Possibly excessive, but she blew them all out! 3) The sun set as I left a friend's farm Sunday evening. It was too beautiful to let the moment pass by. Sometimes you just have to stop the car and breathe it all in.

Quick disclaimer I put on the photo blog as well - I'm not editing photos before posting (I haven't been for awhile, but wanted to make it official). You're just getting the real me, and the real shots. Plus it challenges me to be a better photographer in camera, instead of in editing. Don't judge me. Okay, that's all.

we'll leave the light on...

Wowzers. It's my last night in St. Louis. Many, many days and nights have been spent here in the past two years. It's strange to be in the middle of the last hoorah. We had dinner on The Hill tonight, with all the fixin's. The Area Manager drove us all around his stomping ground when he was a kid. Loved it.

One more flight, and the travels are done. One more hotel room and the overnights are... over.

I'm trying to soak up every last minute, wondering if I'll miss it when it's gone.

liberation...

It's a story I've wanted to tell for a long, long time. It's one I've held back, struggled with, and kept stuffed away. And I feel it's unfair, that this thing - this burden, this weight, this heavy gauze - has been impacting me for so long, and I haven't felt the comfort or safety to share it in an honest way. I feel it's unfair because I haven't been completely real, and to me authenticity is a vital part of our individuality that's necessary to share with others.

Two years ago I moved to Kansas City. I know I was called there. I knew right away. Even though the decision didn't make much sense, I just knew. My heart was at peace. I moved for my job. I moved for a promotion. And I moved for a challenge - personally and professionally. I had no idea exactly what that challenge would look like, but it didn't take long to find out. My job stretched and tested me in ways I could have never imagined. To sum it up without a lot of, 'this is what I do for a living' jibberish, let's just say the film Up in the Air hit waaay too close to home. And it was a beautiful wake-up call to the change that was kicking, screaming, and begging to be known.

I'm thankful for the opportunities I've had with a company that's a passion-brand, trendsetter, and industry leader. I'm incredibly appreciative of the people who make the whole thing go 'round. I've met so many wonderful people there, and I'm absolutely most thankful for them. So many passionate people working insanely hard for a company that demands excellence. I'm proud to have been a part of that. It was an adventure in and of itself.

That being said, it's also a relief to finally walk away. I want to apologize to everyone. I want to shout out from the mountaintops, "I'M SOOOORRY" to all my friends, family, co-workers and even acquaintances I haven't had the chance to turn into friends - I haven't been myself for the last two years. For those who have met me within that time frame, you haven't met all of me. There's a lot more here, and it's been trapped in a heavy, thick gauze that kept parts of me hidden and foggy and tired. So, so tired. And finally I'm walking away.

I.

Feel.

So.

Free.

As if with every step another layer of gauze loosens, the plaster cracks, my eyes shine. I feel like my smile is bigger. Like it truly stretches further than it has in a long, long time.

I.

Just feel.

So free.

So to all of you - any of you who have encountered me, opened up to me, befriended me in the last couple of years - thank you for accepting me in my bruised puppy-dog state of mind. Thank you to my roommates who have tolerated very frequent travel absences, to my close friends for enduring ongoing mental processing (over and over again), and most graciously, thank you Mom and Dad - your support always means the most and having it has been crazy-valuable during these turbulent times. Thank you for believing in me and encouraging me through my darkest nights.

I can't wait to show you all more layers. Watch out world - I don't even know what's next.

it was an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeney...

Crap-o. I was so proud of myself today after work. I've been putting off quite a few errands, and today, instead of going to the gym which-I-haven't-gone-to-in-forever-anyway I decided to take care of business. After stuffing my purse with a to-do notebook, now overdue library book, and a bank envelope, I headed to the shoe repair store to get a pair of heels fixed and holes punched into a belt. Then went to my favorite alterations lady to have her work on four items that needed some love. As soon as I walked in she said, "ah, another wedding?" Sheesh - she remembers me and my dresses...? Impressive. Yes, I respond - I need to get the bodice taken in; it's gaping open at the top. She shoos me into the fabric covered changing room, and I pull on the dress. Then I try to zip it. And it doesn't zip so easily. What the...? Three months ago this was falling off my body.

Oh. Not-going-to-the-gym-in-forever-anyway causes things to not fit like they used to. Awesome. So I embarrassingly walk out of the dressing room and let her know, that although I once needed the bodice altered, now I only need the straps shortened. Double awesome with a strong dose of humility.

That was all the motivation I needed to reel it in a bit with what's lovingly entering my mouth. And also to finally make plans to go to the gym - even though every fiber of my being screams to stay far, far away.

Bah.

Humbug.

sitting in a tree...

I see London.

Ahem.

I see France.

Who knew this blog would even cover underpants?

Bridget and I met on during a 4-H trip from Kansas to Washington DC. At first, I thought she was a stuck up and didn't want to talk to me (hey, she later admitted thinking the same of me). But after spending a few days as roommates in our DC accommodations, we became fast friends. I'm quite confident our fate as best friends was sealed when we realized our high school crushes were both named Brady (haha Bridge - oh the stories we could tell!). And unlike typical camp friendships, we thankfully stayed in touch throughout the next school year, and ended up going to the same college thereafter. Nine years later (um, wow!) we live in the same city and still make time for girl talk, life talk, job talk - whatever. She's pretty much my job mentor. And although neither of the Bradys worked out for a permanent gig, Bridget did find someone far surpassing all the qualities poor high school Brady could ever offer (no offense to him, of course), and will soon be getting married to a man who complements her beautifully.

So we must celebrate. A party is in order. Bridge's singleness must go out with a bang. And dorky me couldn't wait to make invitations. Something not too cheeky, tacky, pink, glittery or rhyming (bleh). Something that gets the point across - we're going to have a fabulous time together being classy, sophisticated, and tasteful. Did I say tasteful? Classy? Oops, I meant helloooooo lingerie shower. Nothing says it better than a bejeweled pair of black unmentionables on the front on the invite. Holler.


Bridget's first visit of many while I lived in Denver. Oh what fun we had at the corporate Christmas parties.

the ocean blue...

About to embark on an adventure of epic proportions. Well, epic for me anyway. Headed to Californ-i-a tomorrow. Dad's coming with me. He just decided yesterday, but I'm superdeduper glad he did. Really, really glad. He's a wonderful traveling companion. Coffee and newspaper in the morning. Nap in the afternoon. Explore. Then kick it in the evening. My kind of vacation.

There's more to tell, but for now - packing. Did I say pack? I meant panic. Panic! So much to do, so little time. Must get going.

The photograph is a tribute to our 2008 trip to California when Mom, Dad, Aunt Vicky and I experienced one of the greatest vacations of all time. The picture makes me want to melt away to la-la dreamland - probably one of my favorite clicks, for whatever reason. Just, dreamy.

if we took a holliday...

Back from St. Louis. Voicemails are cleared out. Highlighted emails have been selected and viewed briefly. Most texts have yet to be answered (though nothing unusual there, as some friends might attest...). I feel like I've been gone for weeks - and could sleep for the same.

Although the two-days were busy with work stuff, Tuesday evening, thanks to some great, "I know a guy" situations, our team enjoyed almost six hours of everything Cardinals. On the field for batting practice, special beverage drinking room, wearing a World Series champ ring, and eating enough ballpark food to make us all feel a little sick. Or was that due to the Astros kicking the Cards hineys in the last three innings? Ahem, that definitely didn't help. It was a beautiful night though, especially since we were all anticipating downpours throughout the day. Not a cloud in sight until a dark ominous poof rolled in at dusk. It passed by without a drizzle or drop.

Nothing screams summer like baseball and cold beer. I'll take more please.

forget it...

Nevermind my last post. I'm not getting any better at avoiding my space cadet ways. Left my cell phone in the car at the airport parking lot. Doh! Now I'm in St. Louis and my phone is in KC. This has been a pain in the hiney.

(And actually - secretly - it's been wonderful. I missed being able to talk with Mom in the morning, and there are a few friends I wanted to call tonight, but besides those important people, not having a phone today made me a better person. I wasn't able to chronically check emails - it's a sickness to which I've found no cure, I didn't have to glance at it every five seconds to see if anyone had called or text, and I didn't even have the ability to keep track of time, because my phone is my wristwatch. So pretty much, I just enjoyed life today, free of the neck cramping device that I loathe yet barely live without. It was such a relief to enjoy the Cardinals game - minus them losing - without wondering every other moment if an email had arrived or how many voicemail messages I'd need to return tomorrow morning. In reality I really do love me some simple life. But seriously, keep this on the downlow. I'm trying to act like this no phone thing is miserable, but maybe it really isn't so bad afterall.)

sodium intake...

I often find myself doing really dumb things. Asking obvious questions, totally spacing important tasks, or just doing things an awkward way. I don't think of myself as ditzy or spacey though. Maybe I'm in denial. I guess I'd have to take a poll of close family and friends to be sure. Wednesday night for example. Friends in from Denvervisiting and I'm pumped. I was going to meet them at my house, prepare dinner, then hit the road to make an early morning work event in Wichita. The wonderful Renee, my roommate and other house chef, finally got me over my fear of gas grills (seriously, I still have dreams about the gas igniting and my hair combusting into flames when lighting the thing) so I've been very into grilling lately. Plus, it just tastes waaaay better than most cooking methods. I've also been into using buffalo for burgers. Not much of a red meat eater anyway, buffalo has the great perks of being extra lean and not treated with growth hormones, so it's a win-win for me. The side dishes were Caesar salad and sweet potato fries.

My wonderful momma (Happy Mother's Day Mom!) taught me to boil potatoes first so they soak up with more water than oil, so I brought a big pot to boil and got the potatoes to work. The meal was good. Overcooked the burgers a little (blasted - I hate doing that!) but they were definitely still edible. And the fries. Umm. Wow, yeah. Making those again.

So, our household is on a small, not-quite-everyday mission to reduce our waste, compost, recycle, etc. And during the clean up of yummy dinner, I wondered what I could do with a big pot of potato water, full of nutrients from the sweet potato runoff. I was convinced, and told my guests as well, that I'd heard somewhere the water is really good for plants because of the added nutrients, and your houseplants really benefit from it. Well, I love me some house plants (much to another roommate's dismay) and the few I have were in need of TLC anyway. So in goes the nutrient rich water. Ah, the plants will be so happy. And then seconds after I pour in the last drop, I remember all the salt I originally poured into water to help flavor the potatoes. Uh... pretty sure salt kills plants.

Good job to me. Bravo. Brilliant. Helloooo. Where did my brain go?



In not-so-ditzy news I had a awesome weekend. Laura and Hilary's visit was wonderful, and they toured KC like nobody's business. Friday night was spent at the Boulevard Drive In with Iron Man 2. Beautiful evening, good movie. Felt like I was back in time. Oh, and Doritos and Oreo junk food fest. Yum yum yum. Ultimate Frisbee Saturday morning (we won!), Oklahoma Joe's for lunch at the original and, just decided yesterday, my favorite BBQ in KC. As a night cap we dusted off our boots for much needed dancing at D&D to celebrate Renee's birthday.





Aaaaand, I was able to sleep in this morning. Ah. Rest. How I enjoy thee.

I'll be working on my space cadetness, and keep you posted on the life of the plants. So far they're hanging tight.

nothin' but blue skies...

Wheelie bags and three ounce containers. Flight itineraries and security checks. Belts off then belts on. Terminal to your left. Seat on your right. Window or aisle? We've reached 10,000 feet. You may now power on your electronic devices. Cell phones in airplane mode. Peanuts? Beverage? We've begun our descent. Please power off anything with an on/off switch. Welcome to (fill-in-the-blank). Thank you for flying with us. Car rentals on your right. Baggage claim to your left.

I travel a lot. Too much maybe. Often by air, almost as often by car. Airports make my head spin. The check-in process is down to a science and Southwest makes it about as easy as it can get (love them), but each flight sucks the every ounce of energy straight out of my body. Zap. Poof. Gone. Insert dark undereyes, dehydration, exhaustion.

Which is why I'm so thankful for the times I'm able to get away from it all. Escape the world of movers and shakers and instead just be. This weekend was one of those. After a late evening arrival to KC from St. Louis, I continued the trek west to Central Kansas to spend quality time with friends. It was wonderful. Their little girl is growing up so fast (holy cow she's walking!) and they've put a lot of work into their home - it's always fun to come back and see the changes. We played a lot, cooked a lot, and even took naps in the backyard (it does not get better than snoozing on a blanket in the sunshine). An evening barbecue was quite the treat - so many kids running around and babies napping and laughing and playing.



On the way home I stopped to visit Justin and Amber on the farm. They won't be there much longer (buying a house in town - yay for them!) but I just love the drive out there. Today was no exception. Perfect clouds. Perfect temperature. Sunroof down, windows down - soaking in every minute. I didn't want to leave. Tomorrow is another day on the road. Another morning beginning hours before the crack of dawn. Weekends like this one are my refuge and my happy place. I can't wait for another.

you scream...

I am never allowed to buy Edy's Girl Scouts Thin Mint chocolate ice cream again. Never ever. Ever. Ever. It is definitely not making me thin. It's making me sick. Thank the high heavens it's being sold for a limited time only. Open mouth, insert spoon. Repeat indefinitely.

Blasted. Swimsuit season, here we come.

time trials...

Today was fulfilling. Peaceful. Rewarding.

Some work buddies and I participated in the Trolley Run this morning. Had breakfast after, and coffee. Delicious coffee. Then spent most of the afternoon editing photos and working up a DVD presentation. Good day for it, as the clouds were heavy with rain and the sun was afraid to shine. I could watch the great outdoors all from the comfort of the dining room window.

This week is going to be long, but the weekend sure was nice.

Even went to the RiverMarket farmer's market. Bought a carton of crazy-good strawberries. I had forgotten how real strawberries taste. Oh, that's right. Like pure awesomeness.

i am woman...

Today was a big day. Last night I purchased an external hard drive for little Mac so he could have more space (yes, I've used that as a break-up line too). This morning I formatted the new hard drive and felt like a bad ass. Yep, I did. Bad. Ass. And with only one call to my tech hotline in the process (aka either Doll or my brother... this time Doll) I felt like I'd accomplished something from complete scratch. Something I, twenty-four hours ago, knew nothing about.

Rwar.

And tonight I had an engagement session with the cutest, sweetest couple. Ah, they were so wonderful and took beautifully fierce shots. Can't wait to dig into those this weekend. It's like candy to me, sorting through all the photographs and selecting the best. And now that the photo files have a new home on Happy Place (I named my external hd, okay? It's weird, I know, but it means the world to me as I could not operate with it...) And, just for fun, attached is a photo from the shoot. I don't usually cross my personal blog with my photography blog, but eh, what the heck.

I just can't help myself.

Nighty night.

so lost without you...

My precious little MacBook is plum full and has no room for even an itty bitty file on it's hard drive. Which is incredibly sad to begin with, but even worse that the photos on the Nikon have to sit patiently on a memory card until I purchase some external hard drive space. Sniffle. Seriously. I'm uploading from that thing about every other day, now it all comes to a screeching halt.

There are worse things in life, absolutely. And I'll survive. I sure hope the Seagate external drive I have in mind goes on sale soon. Until then, blog is pictureless.

Did have a fabulous weekend though - parents came to visit, stayed in Manhattan Friday night, then worked our way up through Topeka and my cousin's volleyball tournament, to Kansas City. Where we shopped a little too much, took naps and read at Loose Park, then went neighborhood cruising around Brookside at all the beautiful homes I would someday like to own. Someday. Like in ten years.

don't give me no pop...

You could say I'm quite obsessed about all things food - eating it, figuring out how it was made, consuming responsibly raised meats, and trying recipes beyond ground beef and casseroles. Before tasting something I've made my roommate typically points, wrinkles her nose, and says, "What is that? The things you make are just... weird." Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment. That's why I was ecstatic (seriously, like a little kid on a field trip) our work group recently spent a beautiful morning at Shatto Dairy - a family owned farm just north of KC where the cows happily munch grass in green pasture and are not injected with the growth hormone rBGH

You might have noticed the Shatto milk brand on the shelves of Hy-Vees and specialty grocers in the Kansas City area. Their brand is cute and clever and the milk is packaged in beautiful glass bottles with quirky words that make me smile. If I wasn't a fan already, (I was, but my nearest grocery store doesn't carry it - darn them!) after touring the dairy I was hooked. The family operation is incredibly transparent. The tour began in the milking area, which milks twelve cows at a time (I think... forgive me if some of my logistics are off; I was going a little crazy with the camera at this point). They start at 3am (no thank you!) and shuffle over 150 cows through in record time. Next we had the opportunity for everyone to milk a heifer. It took me a few tries before having much success. And although it wasn't exactly as I thought it might be, I could see someone getting the hang of it pretty quickly with a few practices.

After petting baby calves and enjoying the patio out front via porch swing, the tour continued through the rest of the facility. My favorite part, of course, the cheese cave. The room is set up - temperature, humidity, mustiness - to perfectly mimic a cave. Apparently this is the best environment for cheese to hang out in and get more delicious by the minute. If you haven't tried Shatto cheese, um, get your booty to the grocery store. Pronto - go! It's delicious. And it supports a local farmer.
The last leg of the tour was taste sampling. We tried Rootbeer Milk (awesome, awesome, awesome) and Chocolate Milk (even better) and vanilla ice cream. It doesn't get much fresher than that.

Our tour guide was actually with farmer who started it all (Leroy, I think...?). He is a laid back, hilarious, and completely down to earth guy who, quite frankly, is humbly dumbfounded at the huge success his dairy has had. If you look around it's easy to see why it works so well - he has a wonderful, delicious product and he does things the right way. Leroy isn't looking for shortcuts; he just wants the best product his cows can provide to land in the hands of the all-consuming public, as soon as it possibly can. And he works his butt off to do so. No wonder the Shatto craze is catching on.

If you're looking for something out of the ordinary to do over a spring or summer weekend, set up an appointment with the dairy and spend an afternoon at Shatto! Pack a camera and pack a lunch, then be prepared to enjoy life in the slow lane for a few hours. Heck, even the drive out there had me forgetting all my work-filled woes. And don't come back until you've reached homemade ice cream nirvana. Ah, food bliss.

thank you sir, may i have another...

Before thinking I've gone more than nuts for posting a photo of a miniature Beanie Baby penguin named Zero, I shall explain.

I'm detoxing my life, my closets, my cubbies. All this stuff - crammed in boxes, shoved into corners, stacked on shelf upon shelf, in every nook and crannie of my existence. I'm over it. Done-do over. Over the clutter. Over the dust collectors. Over the distractions.

This weekend was the first installment of uncluttering my life. I went through piles, threw out things until it hurt a little, and even resorted to the, "hey, take a picture of it so you'll keep the memory and not the stuff". So, therefore, my friend Zero, who has lived in a shoebox for over a year, had his picture snapped and waved goodbye (can't you tell he's signing off?). Hopefully he'll soon have a home with someone who loves him dearly. I love who gave it to me - Dad, a couple of years ago for Christmas (because I had a very weird obsession with penguins awhile back... it's not my fault, SeaWorld made me) - but I don't love having too much stuff. And I hold a special place for all things Dad gives me, because he's not typically the gift giver; that's Mom's department. So when he picks something out all on his own, it's really special, because it must have reminded him of me, and it's a reflection of how much he cares about his kids. But it doesn't equal Dad's love, and I know he won't be upset it that I'm not keeping it forever.

The continuous process of uncluttering my life now consists of analyzing every purchase, maybe to the point of annoying myself a bit. Do I NEED this? Do I really, really NEED this really cute, difficult to find, perfect beautiful THING to set on my beautiful, perfect and expensive SHELF, because that SHELF needs more THINGS to set on it. Do I really NEED it? Really? OR...

Will it sit there collecting beautiful, perfect dust? Most of the time it IS a dust collector, and I don't need it. I just really wanted it. So it's stays on the shelf in the store. And I can admire it every time I return without spending a hot-diggity dime.

Don't get me started on shoe consumption... I have a minimizer plan on those as well. But I'll save it for another time. And yes, I'm a girl, and I love shoes too. Perhaps I just don't need as many...

exhale...

Some days are hard, but then again, some days can't get much better. Like this whole weekend. Sunshine, bird-chirping, sandal wearing bliss.

Deep breath in. Aaaahh.

And I cleaned out closets. And drawers. And basements. Triple aaahhh.

someday...

Tonight is a lonely night. Thoughts spin around my head until I feel dizzy and disoriented. And although it's quiet in my room, even throughout the house, my mind reverberates with loud, clanging and unconnected pieces and parts. I want to sleep but haven't been sleeping well. Last night I dreamt I was in an airplane when the engine stalled and we began free falling. I started praying, preparing to die. Everyone around me was doing the same. At the last moment the engine caught and we swooped upward, seconds from crashing into the city below. Immediately after realizing we were going to be okay, I swore off flying forever. I felt better after that, peaceful almost. Like I had some sort of control in this crazy life - I never had to get on an airplane again.

Maybe I'm homesick. Above is a photo of my Dad taken Easter weekend. It's his playful sad face. I think it's his basset hound face... imitating our beloved puppy, Missy. Or maybe it's because he couldn't find enough hidden eggs for his Easter basket. I loved being back, loved spending time with the family cooking, playing, storytelling. Just being. I wish they lived closer, so we could just be more often. I hope they know how much I love them. How can you ever show someone enough?

good company...

This week has been a little piece of wonderfulness. It's my last night of puppy/house-sitting, and I'm snuggled up in piles of beautifully patterned sheets, quilts, and duvet (hey, I like heavy covers. Plus it's SNOWING outside and I'm sure to be warm). There's a dim, warm glow from the small antique lamp adorning the night-stand, and I'm ten minutes away from dreamland (as long as the dreams aren't as strange as last night's. Or the night before that). Even though it snowed today (and keeps on snowing) it seemed just about perfect. I had breakfast, read, played the piano (they have a piano here... ahhh), and read some more. Then I took a wonderfully rejuvenating nap. The living room was bright with multiple the windows reflecting the brightness of the snow and whispery flakes falling all around. The house was quiet and peaceful even though I could see the trees blowing haphazardly with the forceful wind and unexpected gusts. The puppy snuggled up extra close and we snoozed contentedly, letting time tick by casually - such a rare treat. This week has been fun, and although I'm ready for home, the time away was good. Necessary. And it's been fun. The mother of the home loves to cook, and she has the greatest dishes - about anything you could want to prepare, she has a beautiful pan/pot/bowl to present it in. So Thursday a few friends came over for dinner. They were graciously patient, as the meal was almost two hours behind schedule. Eeks! That's so terrible, I know. I obviously grossly underestimated how long everything would take to prepare. We even got started right around 5pm, and I had someone helping me! Nevertheless, the guests brought over delicious wine and we chatted while I finished creating the evening's meal. On the menu:

Hor'devours
- traditional bruschetta
- bacon wrapped apicots with sage

Main
- Caesar salad
- chicken wrapped spinach and mozarella
- gnocchi with sauteed zucchini and squash tossed with pesto

Dessert
- apple pie a la mode

So, the items didn't necessarily come from the same food category, but they all melded together well.

Erica and Gerard even brought over flowers to cheer up the table setting. Erica has her own floral company, The Flower Girl, and I'm just the lucky friend who gets to enjoy her talents. Both her and Gerard chose orange arrangements with green accents. The displays completely lit up the room long after dinner was over. And the cats like to eat the flowers too - seems to be a two for one deal.




Finally, and quickly, here's a peek at my office this week. I love all the light this house receives - all the white. Everything seemed so bright and fresh. And the sweet little puppy sure made things nice as well.

puppy love...

This week I have the privilege of dog-sitting little Laker. She's six months old, cute-cute-cute, and follows me everywhere. I can't get enough. It's going to be tough telling her good-bye!

pow-pow.

The past week has been a whirlwind. Lots of travel, but a lot of fun. Last weekend I met the family in Denver for a quick ski trip (part II - yay!). It. Was. Awesome. We visited Copper Mountain, and Mom found a wonderful spot very close to the slopes. Laura and Jon met us for dinner Friday evening, and Sara joined soon after. Skiing three days was a dream, and thankfully we woke up to four to six inches of snow each morning - our skis were aching to float through the fluffy stuff.

Our legs, however, almost weren't up to the task. The altitude in addition to not being in shape quite as much as we'd planned had our muscles and lungs begging for oxygen. The first two days we hit the blues and blacks on the east side and headed there the third day as well. But the first run down, instead of feeling rejuvenated, we were pooped. So we changed gears and pointed our skis down the greens. That's when life became oh so sweet. We found a huge terrain park with beautiful rolling hills - you could go as big or small as you wanted. I get thrills from feeling my skis leave the ground, even if only for moments, so each go 'round I'd push off a little stronger and get a little braver. Ahh, exhilarating. I'm a sucker for an adrenaline rush. Although we had a wonderful time, I definitely missed having my brother along to challenge me to races and throw snowballs while I wasn't looking. He was taking care of Amber, who was recently diagnosed with Crohn's disease (thank you for all your prayers!) and unable to make it. We're grateful Amber is on the road to recovery - she's had a great caretaker during her time in the hospital.

The mini-vacation was great though - we skiied our hearts out during the day, Mom had warm soup waiting for us at lunch, and we'd make it out for a few more runs until the lifts closed. The evenings were relaxing - cards and united cheering around the television during Olympic competitions. Life is good.

In other exciting news, the Red Team was declared CCS Champs in the Dodgeball Tournament that wrapped up yesterday. Unfortunately the win was surrounded with controversy as one of the final play's calls (or lack thereof) was not supported by the sideline onlookers. And, without going on a crazy rant, the calls the entire game were less than stellar, and the first few were definitely in favor of the Teal Team. Regardless, dodgeball is a difficult sport to call, and the game ended as it did (I was still on the court so I have no idea what happened). We went undefeated the entire season, and I loved playing on the team. Go Red!

I'll fill you in on the other recent happenings soon - quick run down:

- home from Denver Monday evening
- back to Denver Wednesday for work appointment
- on to Phoenix for HR meeting Thursday and home again late Friday night
- tomorrow off to StL for a market visit
- and then... I shall sleep, and give my suitcase a break

Nighty-night.

poker face...

Happy Belated Valentine's Day. Hope you were able to celebrate. The neighbor boys invited us (after we asked) over for wine and cheese, and ended up surprising us with a meal. Many others joined later in the evening, and it turned into an unexpectedly wonderful gathering of people. Upon my return home, and after checking voicemail, it was hinted to check the mailbox before the mailman arrived. And, hands down, best surprise Valentine Card ever. Below are photos of it, and a reenactment of the pink shoe/gold sock combination I busted out last night. I couldn't bear actually putting on the ensemble again, so it's a still-life shot instead.

Also, just a friendly reminder Ash Wednesday is tomorrow. What are you sacrificing - what are your worldly attachments? Mine - The Office, The Bachelor (lame sauce, I know), lots of coffee, and occasional Facebook time-wasting nonsense. How are you growing in relationship with Jesus? Me - I need steady prayer time and Adoration time, and I need it badly. What are you doing to reach out to others in need? Maybe writing letters to those in prison, in the military, or to someone you've lost touch with; perhaps preparing meals for the hungry or loving the lonely. Maybe it's finding the courage to swallow a pride pill and offer an apology to someone you've hurt, to an old wound that won't heal. What is on your heart? When we take time to listen, God is usually very clear in what he is asking of us. Let us not be afraid to hurt a little this Lent - to offer up ourselves in the hope of uniting ourselves to the Cross.

st. anthony...

Winter is hard on me. Short days. Cold, bitter air. Just... brrr. So to pass the time and keep me busy I participate in a few indoor activities - dodgeball, spin class, and... volleyball. In fact, a few of us have been playing volleyball since June. It started with the game in the sand, and after three rounds of that it switched to court. Our 6pm games can be really difficult to make on time, so I typically pack my gear in order to not miss the game entirely.

Well, the last two games this has caused some problems. My packing (or my brain)hasn't been as stellar as usual. Forgot the sports bra last game. NOT a good idea. Totally awkward. Definitely not my top performance. And tonight, I forgot my socks. So I got to wear my lovely gold boot socks instead.

With my new hot pink Nikes. Wowzers. That, was hard on the eyes.

That's as exciting as my life gets. Check out rachellekuntzphotography.blogspot.com if you have some time to kill. Just uploaded engagement photos from a shoot in Denver. Enjoy!

screen lift...

Hi! My friends, I think the days of dark blue dots are over. After almost five (!) years of blogging bliss, it's time for a change, a breath of fresh air. So I've been hunting blog templates for a couple of days (unfortunately I'm not savvy enough to design my own) and finally landed on one that suits my taste and style. Simple, clean, great fonts, etc. Now I just need to figure out how to move that flower thing (which I'm not exactly a huge fan of... something similar maybe, but not that) behind my blog title, or remove it altogether, or replace it with another grayish thing I like better.

Let me know what you think - is this change good or bad? And if you're indifferent, well... carry on.

Have a happy, snowy and warm Sunday. Oh - and Happy Valentine's Day! (I almost forgot until editing the blog's post options.)

jolly good fellow...

The year is out the gate with a bang. I woke up at 10:30, had chicken noodle soup for breakfast (so good for the soul, especially when it's made by momma), and stayed in my pajamas all day. I probably shouldn't admit that on a public blog. Ah, but who's to judge. One of these days has been a long time coming. Finally able to catch up on a lot of little things otherwise pushed to the back burner, finally able to just kill some time. And when a slight panic attack snuck up on me from thinking the weekend was almost over, my Mac smiled at me with a friendly reminder - Friday, January 1, 2010. Aaaaaahh. Deep sigh of pure joy.

A quick year in review for 2009. It. was. tough. Sometimes I wonder - because of frequent moves, job changes, friend changes, life changes - how many know the real me. Because I think the past two years haven't really been me. Not all of me anyway. Shining moments, hopefully, but not all of me. There's something missing, and this year has been a reflection of what that might be and why. I haven't found any black and white answers. No solutions plopped perfectly in my lap. Unfortunately. Blasted I wish it were that easy. Everything seems so complicated, so many things intertwined and overlapping and confusing.

The central theme I keep coming back to is this life is short. Way too short (of course, I'm not the Maker and from what I hear it gets much better than this, but it still seems short). And I'm always worried it will end before I'm able to experience my lofty dreams and adventures. Not even just the big adventures - I'd absolutely l-o-v-e to take a Europe backpacking trip and experience Alaska's wilderness (don't worry, I'm still planning on it), but it's the small things too. Coffee with friends, refreshing conversation, long hugs, good books. And at times I become so overwhelmed at what I haven't yet been able to do that I stop doing anything. I feel frozen. And I stop living.

Today I was clicking around a few of my favorite photographers' blogs (big ol' time-wasting guilty pleasure). I stumbled on Adventure Monkey. It's the musings of a photographer who had been sucked into all sorts of corporate cubicle mindlessness, and strongly desires to take the plunge in following his heart and focus on photography - free-spirited, wide open freedom to shoot whatever and whenever. Around the same time he took up cycling like nobodies business, so now he cycles, discovers, and shoots. And if that wasn't enough, he lives (from what I can tell) somewhere in the middle of Kansas. So his entries, reflections, and photographs pulled me in immediately. A few posts ago he wrote about the new year and his expectations for 2010. It felt like he was writing it for me; like he pulled the words right out of my mouth for the world to see. So I thought I'd share, and in some way make it my manifesto for the year as well:

'Today I refilled my little desk calendar with 365 more days. All the sudden, I had a moment. "This was a pretty good year," I thought. I need to do things for real on this next set of pages. I need divine inspiration, a spark of ingenuity to turn these ideas of mine into actions. I can't bear to live in this cage and change the calendar in 365 days. I am going to go for it next year. I will live as it is for an important reason, a purpose. I will not give up... This is the year that ideas must turn into actions. These next 365 days I dedicate to a life worth living.'

In a more recent entry he also noted:

'It would be nice to say I came up with a great idea that will solve all my problems while cycling the hundreds of miles I logged this year, but that’s not the case. I am simply ready to live. Ready to try new things again. Ready to make goals and the plans to achieve them. I have realized that life is short and I only live once. I want to leave it all on the field. I want to try and fail rather than having regrets for never trying. I want to inspire others to remember the dreams they once had and realize the only thing keeping them from achieving those dreams is fear. Fear is not real, it is in our minds, keeping us from living.'

Yep, I'm ready to live in 2010. Ready to take off this painfully comfortable shell I've been hauling around the past two years. Ready to be me.

peace on earth...

Tonight was our (now) annual Christmas dinner celebration with roommates of the BR/MC. We chose Julian, a new spot in Brookside serving delicious and unique gourmet comfort food. I almost want to momentarily turn into a food critic, carefully describing all our creative dishes and desserts. But... I'm not going to. Just know it really was delicious (except the mussels for Shawndra - but she tried!) and you should check it out.

I would rather instead reflect briefly on the joys and smiles only good friends bring. You know everyone is enjoying themselves when they stay long, long after the check has been delivered and paid. You know everyone is comfortable when they laugh a little too loud, tell stories they wouldn't tell their mother, and order whatever looks yummiest on the menu, without regard to caloric intake.

It was that kind of dinner. With those kind of friends. I'm so thankful. And I say that often, I'm sure. But I don't say it enough. It's been wonderful sharing Kansas City with you all, and I'm incredibly grateful our friendship has long outlasted the late night college rendezvous and ridiculous Aggieville adventures.

May you have a very Merry Christmas and know your friendship is an immeasurable blessing to me.

pump it up...

Ummm... the blow-up snowmen, blow-up Santa Clauses, and blow-up Christmas trees are not only taking over our neighbors' yards and burning our holes in our retinas, they are also taking over the reason to celebrate the season.

What in this big, beautiful world is up with all those lawn decorations? When can we go back to a few strings of soft white lights framing the roofline and a sparkling tree in the window?

The calm, peaceful, quiet kind of Christmas cheer.

We could all use a dose this holiday season.

now i lay me...

I would like to write tonight, but feel a little empty. Funny stories aren't coming to mind, and although I have an idea of the next post, it will have to wait for now. I'd like to share about the nice weekend in KC instead. It was a wonderful weekend. Friday was an evening with friends (thanks for letting me interrupt guy night to eat sushi with you - I always laugh more on those days than any other of the week). Saturday we escorted Bridget to the Paola bridal shop for bridesmaid dress hunting. I think we found them all within an hour and a half (we impressed even ourselves!) then headed down the street to a delicious cafe (Maria's... maybe?) We even found our shoes that day also. They are sassy and fabulous. I took them out of the box today just to peek again.

Last night I met with friends and co-workers to see the Zeros in action. They're an 80's cover band, and playing for our quickly approaching Holiday Party, so we wanted to check them out ahead of time. It's going to be quite a party!

This evening we had roommate dinner. It was my turn to cook. On the menu - Semi-cobb Salad, Smoky Chicken Corn Cakes (sounds strange, I know... but oh when you taste it...), and Cherry Popover with vanilla bean ice cream for dessert.

Now I'm snuggled in my freshly washed, Downy scented sheets; two pillows awkwardly propping up my neck. I'm ridiculously excited to have a decent night's sleep. Although I've been having terrible dreams lately, it will be a wonderful change of pace to have the full eight hours of lah-lah land opportunities.

And on that note... sweet dreams.

carry on...

I feel like such a hypocrite. Just last night I was talking to friends about how strongly I feel online networking and instant messaging systems suck our time into a big black hole - spending hours and hours a day (track it sometime for a fun personal development exercise) perusing others' updates, checking out old classmate's new baby photos, trying to figure out exactly how that person knows another person. Just thinking about it makes my brain spin. But that's exactly what I spent a good hour this evening doing. Bah!

And as much as these communication venues have their place (believe me, Facebook has made it a whole lot easier to continue contact with people you've recently met) I'm worried we're spending much more time on the keyboard than over a cup of coffee. I worry we're living in this alter-reality world in which we discover so much information about our friends (or, I'd argue, acquaintances), without truly knowing them. We see their wild nights out in play by play or learn from an update they're having a bad day and are frustrated with their boss, but on an emotional level we have no idea who this person is, and not a clue of their true essence, passion, ideas, goals.

We click through pages and pages of people's information (and why some are so willing to provide so much... that would take an entirely different day to deal with) yet it's highly unlikely we'll even be invited to their wedding, or visit them after the birth of their first, second, third child. We won't hang out with them on weekends, or fly to visit them once a year.

Instead we sit, almost anonymously, behind a glowing monitor, making half-hearted attempts to re-connect with old friends, or sort-of-kind-of friends. We make funny wall posts, browse pages of updates, and try to connect the dots. We message things we don't really mean. We say things we'd never say in person. We criticize, we gossip, we waste our precious, precious time.

But I'd like to propose a change. A shift. A step back into the good ol' days. Back to a time when neighbors didn't call to see if you were home, but instead just swung by and knocked. Back to a day when we could just be with those we care about, or even those we'd like to know more, either goofing off or in great conversation - building friendships and trust in a very real, very personal way.

Someday I imagine we'll be able to look back on our lives (if only briefly) and analyze the choices we made and actions we took. I know if I look back and realize I've spent most of my time burning the midnight oil on Joe Schmo's Facebook page, after page, after page, I'll be more than kicking myself.

We were put on this great and beautiful earth to LIVE. And not just to live, but to live fully. Go out a make a difference in someone's life today. The real, in-person kind of difference. Be interested in them, learn about them, experience their feelings and frustrations and happiness. I guarantee that will feel so much better than having 574+ friends added online.

security check...

I've been on a bit of a MidWest tour the past week, some of which lent itself to a few silly scenarios. One of which I'd like to share with you this fine Monday morning.

To preficit, I somewhat despise checking luggage. It's such an extra hassle - more lines to wait in before boarding, more waiting after landing, and just more stuff to carry around in general. So typically it's my life's goal to pack whatever I need for however long I need into carry-on luggage. Normally this is accomplished with no trouble and room to spare - overnight to STL, two days in OKC, no problemo. However, when trips are bordering a week or so, packing gets a little tight. Take this week for example. Headed out Tuesday evening for Oklahoma, flew to Denver Thursday evening, and am now at the airport ready to fly home. Six days no matter, I was not going to check baggage.

In order to do this I have to pack smart (the key is very few pairs of shoes - ballet flats work best), but I also cheat - just a little. I bring a wheelie bag and my bookbag (which I stuff with tennis shoes, books, hats, etc). And I also bring my purse/side-sling/whatever you want to call it. Obviously that's one extra bag over the limit. So, right before it's time to board I cinch my purse onto my bookbag and hand the attendant my boarding pass unnoticed. And don't worry all you frequent fliers, I don't take up any additional space in the overhead storage - the bookbag and purse fit under the seat in front of me, and no one is the wiser.

I've used this system for over a year now, and it's always been quite a slick process. Always, that is, until Thursday evening.

It started on the flight to Denver. I snagged a window seat with the perfect frame curvature to rest my weary head. Soon after a mom with little baby grabbed the aisle seat. Oh boy. And finally, to complete the happy trio, a large goateed truck-driver plopped right in the middle (he said he was lucky to choose us because we were little and he'd have plenty of room...). Anyway, everyone in the row was chatty and friendly, and at take-off the baby didn't even cry. Perfect, time to get in a little nap. Fifteen minutes in truck-driver elbowed my in the ribs and said, "you didn't expect to sleep the whole time did you?". No, no, of course not - that's not why my eyes were closed and my entire body was facing the window. Oh well, I'm up now.

Truck driver proceeded to entertain baby by playing with all of baby's toys and making lots of noises. Then truck driver realized if he pushed the flight attendant call button, baby looked intrigued and stopped fidgeting. So here we go. Ding-light-baby coo, ding-light-baby coo, ding-light-baby coo. I'm shrinking in my seat as the attendant call continues to go on and off, on and off. Very soon after two flight attendants, one from each end of the plane, literally run over to our seats and ask if we're having an emergency.

Nope, no emergency.

Are you sure? Usually when the call goes on and off five times in a row or more, it means there's an emergency; someone choking or something.

Nope, no problems here. Just doing what I can to entertain the baby. He likes it, see? Ding-light-baby coo.

Please don't do that again sir.

Fast-forward to landing. I was anxious to get off the plane, as Sara had been waiting at the airport for over an hour (her flight arrived earlier than mine). The mom had lots of baby things all over the place, so she asked if it's be okay to wait until everyone had left the plane. Sure, no problem. I made small talk with truck driver and waited (sort-of) patiently for the plane to clear out. When it was finally our turn, I made a mad dash to get outta there, and happily jumped on the train/subway/whatever at DIA to be transported to the main terminal.

That's where the actual problem began. I'm about to reach the place where friends and family wait longingly for their loved ones, when I realize (and momentarily stop breathing) - NO! I don't have my wheelie bag! Oh crap. Where in the world is my wheelie bag? Did I just let go and stop carrying it. Pretty sure I'm losing my mind. Had to go to the Southwest counter and get a pass to get back through security. Then go back through security. All the while Sara is waiting in the 45 Minute Parking Lot (for over an hour). I finally get through the A,B, and C terminals on the train, find the gate and talk to the flight attendant. She shakes her head - no bag. All the bags on the overhead belonged to the through passengers.

I really am losing my mind.

Did I leave it on the train? Did I forget to hold onto it on the walking sidewalk? Did someone take it on accident?

The flight attendant told me I had to wait until everyone boarded the continuing flight before she would check again. Ummm... that doesn't make much sense to me, to wait until the plane was super crowded with more bags and people. But, what choice was left? I sat, and continued thinking I was crazy - trying to remember where I left it.

Flight attendant went back in, then came back victorious - with the wrong black bag. Oh boy. She finally asked if I'd like to check myself. Yes please. I walked halfway down the aisle, looked to the right. There she was, in all her black piping glory, nametag and all. My clothes, my Chi, my shoes! Thank you St. Anthony.

An hour and a half after original arrival time, I hopped into Sara's car and off we went to Boulder. I can't thank her enough for her patience. And for the flight attendant allowing me back on the plane.

And now I know I'm only half crazy. And I won't forget my luggage again.

walnut bread...

I finally figured it out! The low-fat blueberry muffins served at Mimi's Cafe has got to be partially made out of angel food cake. Try it sometime. I always thought they tasted kind-of weird. Not bad weird, just different than regular muffins weird. And tonight, while munching on a leftover muffin half, it hit me. Sha-bam.

happiness...

Life always feels fuller with friends. Especially the kind who accept you for who you are - even when your hair is all crazy, your masacara is smudged, and you smell like you played softball for four hours. Ew.

Or the kind who let you put them to work painting tables and trim and doors. Those kind are pretty awesome too.

Or the ones who keep calling to workout with you each morning. Even when you're late almost every time; even though you whine that you can barely open your eyes let alone lift your arms to do lateral pulls while standing in an alternating lunge.

I often wonder if I tell people enough. How much they mean to me. How I love feeling free to laugh and tease and just be. How much listening to me process my wild brain and mish-mashed thoughts really helps me sort things out and feel balanced again. I could say it more. I should.

It's such a treat being surrounded by great friends. A wonderful, amazing blessing to have friendships, both near and far, to share this life with us.

hold the health...

I just made my third McDonald's run in the last two weeks. And coming from someone who frequently considers vegetarianism and believes in the humane treatment of animals, I think I'm losing my marbles. Or my will-power. Or my decency. Or all three. Two of the trips were for vanilla ice cream cones, which has recently become a summer obsession, but tonight was a double cheeseburger.

And it wasn't even after-bar food. I was just hungry.

I found out this evening my friendly neighborhood grocer closes at 11pm (I thought it was open 24hrs. My bad). I had great intentions of making spinach and feta turkey burgers - which received 4.5 stars by the way, and as we all learned from last night, the stars never lie - but I was 17 minutes too late! And had to settle for whatever food I could get my grubbie little paws on this time of night. Which just happened to be the glowing golden arches emitting beacons of light and greasy temptation.

And now the guilt is kicking in. I've got to get off this fast-food kick. Or this spending money kick in general. It seems to be flying out of my wallet faster than I can say grande soy latte. And I can say that pretty fast.

After attempting some research on my profession, I connected the dots and realized the poor-eating stint might be related to job stress. Here's a quick, non-comprehensive description of my role as HR Lady:

Human resource professionals contribute to utilizing the skills and expertise of employees to an optimum level. They are also in charge of creating and maintaining harmony in order to maintain a pleasant and comfortable work environment.

And that, my friend, is a tall order.

Can I have fries with that?

rock salt...

Maybe, hopefully, pretty-pretty please, the replacement cell phone will arrive tomorrow. It's been a difficult go without it.

Other than that, life is full. I love summer and all the sports it involves. I love BBQs and ice cream and the sun's warmth after spending all day indoors enduring icy air-conditioning.

And friends who knock on your door because they know your phone is broken.

And winning strategy board games against Nick (sorry Nick).

And not knowing what tomorrow will bring, but instead simply living and loving the moment. That's life in all its glory.

Summertime helps me feel alive.

deafening...

Although challenging, not having a cell phone has been strangely liberating. I realized I'm tethered down to it throughout almost my entire day. I've been known to check it every two minutes for a new email. But all of the sudden - no email to check at stop lights, no calls to return after playing volleyball all evening, no voicemail to process through. I don't even know what time it is when I'm in my room, and my roommate has to knock on the door in the morning as a wake up call.

Strange, but I think I like it.

Just living, breathing, and taking in life. Instead of filling it with that tiny screen and tracking ball.

Ahhh.

This, of course, doesn't pertain to work. The lack of phone for the job has been difficult. Especially when there are phone interviews scheduled with out of state candidates tomorrow. And calls coming in every 10 minutes. When that replacement phone comes I'll be playing catch-up. But until then...

I'll just keep breathing in the odd silence that missing object brings.

uh... hello?

My cellular telefono is on the fritz. And as I'm trying to figure out and fix all the problems that have led to the most excruciating neck pain of my life (bluetooth - check, new fluffy pillow - check, massage and doctor's visit - check check), I find it quite ironic that my phone, which I blame the majority of my painful problems on, happened to crash today.

I think it was providential.

For now - tomorrow I'll probably miss it, but for tonight, my neck thanks me.