on the outside just lookin'...

I made the big journey to my hometown the other day. Big deal you say?...well it actually kind of is because I haven't been there for more than two days straight for, oh, as long as I can remember. I've gotten to sleep till noon. It's great. However, very shortlived. But I have accomplished most of my "to do" list - I've visited friends and people I used to work for; I've been shown all the changes that have taken place during my time away. And in that time I was slightly amazed, because I have lived in this wonderful little town since I was two, and it holds most of my memories, most of my friendships, basically all of who I am (up until college of course). Most of me was shaped in some form through this town. But it no longer fits. At all. It feels like an awkwardly shaped glove or pair of pantyhose that you just can't wait to wriggle out of. Kind of like a pair of shoes that never quite got broken in right and always wear a painful blister on your little toe just to remind you how much they don't fit. On the outside most everything appears normal, just as I left it, but below the surface a whole lot has changed. Or then again, maybe it really hasn't.

Everywhere I go people look at me as if I don't belong. As if I should go back to where I came from. Adults who used to wave and smile and say hello give me a blank stare, a half-hearted smile, and keep walking. Take last night for example. I have never felt so out of place somewhere in my life. My friend Mike picked me up and we headed to "The Bar" (real name) because there is nowhere else for college kids to go, as we can no longer have parties at our parent's homes when they leave town like the good ol' days. I walk in and everyone's eyes flick to the door. I felt like a deer caught in headlights, honestly; everyone stared as if I had a huge piece of broccoli hanging from my teeth, or perhaps a big sticker that said "glare at me" stuck on the middle of my forehead. Because that's all anyone did. The old people, the grungy people, the twenty-something's that never moved from home; they all glared. I smiled. What else can you do in that situation? "You don't belong here, who do you think you are?" their stares seemed to scream. Yikes! Yes perhaps I was overdressed, that's just how things are now though. I go out, I dress up. It's part of the fun we girls have I suppose. I have no idea why they felt the need to intimidate a poor girl who just came in to socialize and have a beer. Maybe that just sums up "small town America." I did end up having a good time as more friends showed up, and I tried to ignore the fact that a few of us stuck out like throbbing sore thumbs.

Some would probably say I'm too sensitive, and they didn't mean anything by their stares. And maybe they're right. Maybe I over-analyze... hmmm... NAH. Nevertheless, it kind of feels like a punch in the stomach to no longer have a place here. I contributed to society, I was on every blasted club you could name, I raised more than my fair share of donations for this or that, I earned good grades... why do I get the boot? Why am I the misfit? I can't even go into the pharmacy without feeling like a complete stranger to the community -it's one of the oddest feelings. Just another thing you have to get used to as time keeps changing things. Bah. Humbug.

au revoir...

It was Liz's last big night out before she headed to study abroad, so of course a roommate bonding mini-pubcrawl was in order. It was a Monday evening. Most of the bars were empty. But we had fun. We MC girls always have fun. Here's a quick look at the progression of the evening. Anna's mom gets a shout for the pom-pom stocking hats she gave us for Christmas. She inspired the event. We are forever grateful.

just scribbles...

Okay so we all know the semester is almost over. Hallelujah. I am attempting to cram tonite for an exam I thought was later on tomorrow. As it is probably obvious in the way I shape my thoughts, my class notes are incredibly scattered. They are technically organized, but the margins are full of doodles and thoughts and songs that were stuck in my head, and in an effort to stay awake I express myself rather than pay attention to the professor. It's actually easy to follow this whole year simply based on what is written in my 5-subject spiral. So I thought I'd share a few of my doodles (it's too bad you can't see my artwork), not only for entertainment, but also as a slight documentary to this semester. It's been a ride.

- "so long sweet summer. i stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays."
- so tired!
- dumb warcraft... ryan's fault i had a dream about bears.
- "stay or leave i want you not to go but you should. it was good as good goes."
- well hello. funny meeting you here.
- day-o, DaaAAAAaaaa-O, Daylight come and you wanna go home.
- Here I am... Rock you like a hurricane.
- "cuz i'm leaving on a jet plane. don't know when i'll be back again. oh babe i hate to go."
- chAnGE*
- I have to pee please.
- rainy day. t.v. couch. me & you.
- your words hurt. a lot.
- f-ing jerk.
- i want a job.
- miss you.
- lip service
- disconnected
- "oh i wish that i knew what i know now, when i was younger..."
- white males = good ol' boys
- beauty
- so many questions
- just say no to synergy
- are you just being selfish? don't be selfish. it hurts too bad. uses my time. steals my energy. don't be selfish.
- "wake me up when September ends."
- what is security? is there such thing?
- "when the rain comes I will hold you."
- i skipped class. thank goodness.
- holy cow
- freaking tired
- 1+1=...3? I hate synergy.

tie-dyed...

You know when you were little and your parents finally let you have a soda when you went out for lunch... and the really cool thing to do was to mix all the flavors together with just the right amounts, and then call it a "suicide," as if it were a really crazy thing to do...? Every time I walk by a soda station I wonder about that. Do kids still make those? Is it still a popular phase they go through, or did it lose its glitter just like my banana clips and baggy t-shirts?

above all else...

It's amazing the things you realize over a Frosty and frenchfries. And maybe what I have learned isn't actually anything new. Sometimes it just takes a dose of reality to remind you of what you've always known (as well as a great roommate). My findings are quite uncomplicated really, and I don't know what took me so long to stumble upon them. Either way, it was not until tonight that I realized how easy it is to convince yourself of something or someone when you wish it were the truth. You see, I believe fully in the ability of a woman's intuition. Often times I just choose to blantantly ignore it and hope it goes away, or stuff it down further inside thinking the constant tug will fade. And then eventually the fallacy you are living does not seem so unrealistic afterall, and you convince yourself that what is happening is the right thing, and that you really are happy. You just go on living this way, ignoring how you really feel because it's convenient at the time. Perhaps it is a safe place to hide, protected for a while longer and then a while longer from life's harshness and realities.

But the truth always catches up to you. Real life eventually finds a way to show itself - when everything finally makes sense and all the loose ends come full circle. It is a lot of information to handle. First it made me angry, really really angry. And after that rush of emotion passed, I felt hurt and used, foolish and disappointed and frustrated and annoyed, and well, still angry. So I looked for answers and searched for the truth, and pointed my finger at the person who hurt me. But in the end I am left to face the blatant, obvious truth. When all is said and done, I have no one to blame but myself, because deep down, way deep in the bottom of my stomach, I knew it all along. I always, always knew.

Listen to yourself, chances are you already know the answer.

graduation...

WOW, I am hung over today.

let it snow...

So here I sit, my hair wrapped up in a messy towel knot, trying to mop up all the water I spilled on my desk. This wouldn't be such a problem, of course, if I had a clean desk. But there is stuff scattered everywhere - homework, random notes, numerous lists, gloves, cards, pictures, yogurt, books, a camera, and earrings - you know, the usual. So most of the stuff is soaked, I suppose my clumsiness deserved it.

Everyone is bustling around the house tonight with projects and school work and presentations. Megan is playing her Christmas music (primarily N'Sync Christmas - which Bridge, Megs, and I all secretly like). I was trying to guess the tunes from the shower wall, with some success. Her playlists are the best; actually, when you can hear her singing through the bedroom door is even better, when you can tell she's really happy. Anna is downstairs helping a friend with a powerpoint, or maybe distracting him from getting it done. We made him watch a girly movie tonight. He put up a fight, but I'm pretty sure he liked it. I think Bridge passed out upstairs with her T.V. on because I haven't seen her for the last seven hours. And Liz is putting together her last interior design project - hopefully the girls will get a few hours of sleep tonight. The house is filled with Christmas trees, greenery, and lights (thanks Bridge); a reminder of what is soon to come, as well as what will be over even sooner - I'm sure the entire campus is hoping and praying that dreaded finals week will be over swiftly and painlessly. Bring on the presents and carols and cousins!

grumblegrumblegrumble...

Here's an update on my mood. And I am probably going to sound like a grump, but I decided that's okay, because normally I am anything but. So here goes it. Today I am feeling one hundred percent intolerant of the people and things that I usually find only mildly annoying. You see, usually I try my best to be pleasant and nonchalant about the things that drive me absolutely crazy, but I guess today is just not that day. Perhaps I will simply lock myself in my room to avoid any more of the irritating confrontations that could possibly occur today. Thank you for bearing with me, and I promise tomorrow I won't bite your head off.

shiver me timbers...

Today was the first really really cold day of this winter. And it probably wasn't even that cold. But we've been running around in t-shirts all month so hard blowing snow is a slight shock to the senses. Despite the initial shock of the freezing temperatures, I really don't mind the cold. Actually there's a lot about this season that I always look forward to. One of my favorite things about winter is seeing people so bundled up that the only thing that sticks out are little noses and bright red cheeks peeking between layers and scarves and stocking caps. And the way the covers feel when you've just woken up and you're all warm and wrapped up. Then, knowing how cold it will be once your feet hit the floor, you pull the covers over your head and hold onto five more minutes of cozy warmth, until you've talked yourself into braving the frigid air. Brrr. And maybe I also love how funny it feels to hold hands with gloves on, when neither person is willing to let go because, well, it's cold outside! And sledding - who can go all winter without trapsing up hills time and time again to get a mild adrenaline rush. That's probably one of the best ways to feel like a kid again. The more people that can pile on, the better, and we've gone on some crazy haphazard rides. Thank goodness the adventures resulted in only minor injuries. But more than anything, my favorite part of winter is standing in the middle of the street witnessing a perfect snowfall, when huge fluffy flakes float down all around you, in no real hurry to get anywhere; when everything slows down and it feels as if the whole world is finally, finally at peace.

crunchy soda...

Tonight was a necessary break from the busy burn-out of the workload. Apparently no one felt like eating much after stuffing themselves full of mash potatoes yesterday, which was fine with all of us. So we goofed off in the back, throwing foil balls at each other, making ridiculous drawings (Tom scribbled quite the Ninja Turtle), and well, overall managing to not get very much work done at all. The night traffic never picked up, so everyone tended to get a little rowdier. Of course we tend to have quite the characters working behind the line, so when I got drawn on with permanent marker, I would not let it stop there. Tom got a surprise "void" stamp to the back of the neck and I thought all was fair. Little did I know two of the guys were plotting against me. Tozer came out and was jabbering, as usual, and decides to pick me up, which I don't even think twice about because it's not unusual for me to be tormented occasionally. However this time he had my arms behind my back, feet off the ground, when Tom rounds the corner and plants a big stamp right on my cheek. Ack! Boy it was pretty. Thankfully, after walking red-faced to the bano it washed off easily, but they weren't off the hook. I snuck back to Tom's soda and loaded it with about three tablespoons of Kosher salt. As luck would have it I even got to see him unsuspectingly drink it. Oh, the look on his face was priceless, as was the side-bursting laughter coming from the kitchen. Apparently it went up his nose - I don't know how he managed to swallow it. Gross. But wow was it funny. Now as long as I keep looking over my shoulder - hopefully his revenge won't be quite as sweet.

over the can on...

Today is wonderful Turkey Day, or, in my world otherwise known as Ham Day. I hate turkey... it's a long story, if you know me well enough you've heard it, but I love Thanksgiving anyway - I love it a lot. For as long as I can remember we have hosted the holiday at our home, and other than the fact that it requires a lot of cleaning, (which means whining from us and begging from mom) it's always a lot of fun. Now, hosting any holiday with our family is kind of a big deal, because altogether we're pretty big. Mom has five sisters and dad has six siblings - I believe I have a total of thirty-two cousins; fifty-two if you count cousin-in-laws and second cousins (who all also get together somewhat regularly). Mom's side of the family always comes down Thursday, and dad's side on Saturday.

Traditionally, as everyone filters in, we play cards and give hugs; usually someone is running late and we start the food line without them, but that's okay. Mom makes the best Thanksgiving food I've ever witnessed - even I am willing to sample her turkey, and well, like I said, I can't stand turkey. So, as usual, there's food galore, and all the kids eat in the basement while the big people eat upstairs. I don't know if I'll ever make it up there - I don't know if I want to. The after dinner routine always requires a movie, where sometimes we make it through, sometimes we all conk out and wake up drooling - either way it gives our tummies a little time to rest.

This time we had a plethora of entertainment. The girls whizzed their way through Cranium and the boys played dodgeball basketball. There was a Saltine eating contest after dinner, which Jordan proudly won - ten crackers in four minutes... it's harder than you think! Then all the cousins joined in "Round the World Ping Pong" which got quite intense, but was mostly hilarious. We played until we were all so winded and dizzy we had to stop. Then, one of the best parts of the evening was when the old ritual of "Kick the Can" was revived. It'd been a few years - as in at least five - since we'd all been together. We probably woke up the whole neighborhood with our yelps and screams and carrying-ons, but it was well worth it. The adults were probably thankful for a break and we were content running off a small amount of our intake today. Everyone is finally headed home, and it seems as though it never lasts long enough. Tomorrow morning Justin and I are headed back up to school in the early early AM - darn jobs keep us moving. But it's been a great time home, even if I did have to put up with a few turkeys while I was here.

happy trails to you...

Four years of K-State football reluctantly came to an end for me as a student today. It's funny how much differently you treat something when you know it's going to end; as if you can absorb everything so much more than you've been able to before. So every play, every small gain, I screamed my heart out, more than any other game. Every fight song, every Wabash, every first down, I celebrated as if it were my last. Because in most ways, it was. Sure, I'll probably be back for some games now and then, but it won't be the same. Nothing ever stays the same. Life keeps on changing, continually challenging, forcing you to grow, even when you're not ready; even when inside you're kicking and screaming, digging in your heels as a last ditch effort to slow everything down, but life keeps trucking, with little regard to your opinion or preference.

So, at the end of the game, when a tribute to Coach Snyder played on the big screen, the emotions it evoked in everyone reminded me of how it was so much more than a just football program. The reason I came to this college, the amazement of my first football game, tailgating with friends, and the hugs I got as I walked down the rows - it all replayed in my head. The people surrounding me today were many of the same ones I met four years ago as a scared, nervous freshman. I remembered the Big XII game, and how it felt to win that day, with all odds stacked against us. The utter ecstatic disbelief as play after play turned into a huge upset, and we screamed and jumped and cheered in the freezing cold, on the very top row of the stadium - loving every second. It is every bit surreal today as it was then. Yes, of course one could say it's just a football game, but really it means so much more than that. And I suppose the emotion in participating in that last home game was really due to what it represented - saying goodbye to things that have been consistent support from the beginning is going to be hard. Really hard. Letting go of the people who have shaped me, broken me, changed me - it's going to hurt. So don't blame me when I dance too much or laugh too loud, or hold on a little longer than maybe I probably should. I'm just trying my best to take in every last drop - because really, it's been a great ride so far, and I'm just getting started.

synergy...

The business strategy class I am in calls for an overload of group project work, which gets rather frustrating and incredibly time consuming. They say it prepares us for the real world, when we will be in groups all the time and need to learn how to deal with that now. Fair enough. Thank goodness I have an intelligent group with decent work ethic. Well, we had all procrastinated until the very last day to finish a rough draft for a strategic analysis business plan. Dry, believe me, I know. So we all got cozy in the computer lab, knowing full well we'd be there for awhile. I was prepared to sit there for quite sometime until we were finished, I was not prepared however, for the company I would be in. The lab was packed. Granted we all have at least two group projects we are in the middle of. But Calvin lab is not designed very well for group work in the labs. And there were people every which way trying to find a seat. I kicked myself for forgetting my headphones. The creative juices were not flowing. Okay so this sounds like I just wanted to whine about my project, but really that's not it at all. I just wanted to tell the story of the interesting character I shared a desk with, and thought I should give a little background info.

First of all, this guy was big. I mean huge three hundred and some pounds huge. His friends call him "Slim". Seriously. And he was turned around backward facing partially me and partially his group. I was annoyed because I felt stared at the entire time. Granted he wasn't, but man he was right in front of me, which was distracting. The amazing thing was that the entire three hours he sat there, he did not do anything. Nothing. I couldn't believe it. He just sat there and made jokes. His group either pretended not to notice or figured it better that way. The ordeal got even better when he started getting in and out of his seat, and evertime he did, his belly hit my computer screen, and the whole thing would shake and rattle around for awhile until it could settle again. Grrr. The thing that topped the cake was when he busted out the Altoids toward the end of the night. Apparently he was running low, so he started licking the wax wrapper. Fine. That's kind of ridiculous but nothing I can't deal with. Then he proceded to lick his finger and run it all around the can to get the leftovers, which he then sucked off his fingers. Eewww. Lick finger, repeat process. Lick finger, repeat process. If he really needed more that badly I would have offered to get him a new can. Needless to say, my productivity along with my concentration at that darn computer pretty much went downhill from there. Moral of story? Brush you teeth before you come to computer lab. No, that doesn't make sense. It's okay.

runner-up...

So I decided, after much whining and convincing, to compete in intramural racquetball for the fall season. After a few initial problems (somehow I was accidentally signed up for handball, which I know nothing about) we were rolling. The first two games I won fairly easily. I'm thinking, sweet, only two more games to go. But I played Monday and lost. Badly. I got royally burned. Crap. I didn't even go into three games. I think the whole round lasted twenty minutes. It's embarrasing. So I guess that means back to the drawing board and lots more practice. I probably needed that kick in the hiney. It was humbling for certain.

In other bad news, the Cirrus had some unexpected issues to be taken care of today. In the body shop for my 3000 mile rotation, probably a thousand miles overdue (I'm sorry dad! I procrastinate!) the guy pulls me out of the office and says, uh, you might want to come look at this. Oh great. He spins my front tire and shows, besides it being completely bald which was bad enough, a section that has been rubbing wrong and is even beyond the first layer of rubber. As in big time no no. Dang it. The other one was just as bad, so the nice guy let me call my dad, and he explained to him the dealio. Get that girl some new tires. I got scolded. Thank goodness I'm so many miles away, dad misses me too much to get very upset. Not that he ever got me into too much trouble anyway. Daughters seem to have that affect on their dads. Aww soft spots.

back in black...

I haven't been able to catch up, so I'll give a few bullets to remind myself of the exciting life I lead:

- Two weeks ago my parents and brother came down for the Colorado game. We had a fun, windy tailgate and a close game. Jarrod got Liz and I into the box seats on the east side, which made us feel... well... rich and important. It was a great view.

- Halloween was a rowdy good time. Anna and I worked diligently on our costumes, and pulled off a fairly successful punk/gothic persona. Sometimes we weren't even recognized, which was part of the plan I suppose. If I knew I'd get my blonde back, I would probably dye it more often. It took five shampoos and a very black loofah to get it all washed out. At the end of the night we headed to Longhorns for some dancing. The costume contest was hilarious. And once again I love dancing. If someone can lead me around the room, I'm all yours for the evening. Anna and I had a successful trek through the park, scissors and all.

- Um... well this is just blatant bragging but I got the best test score out of all the people in my class recently, and it was a pretty big deal. Well not really, but I was proud. That was a first.

- My grandpa is doing well. His chemo treatments have been helping and besides the usual side effects, he feels a lot better. My grandma, on the other hand, is really sick. She has weak lungs and is always getting infections. It's hard to see someone who used to run around a hundred miles an hour feel so weak. But she keeps fighting. She's stubborn and I love her for it. Yes, all my stubbornness comes from that side of the family.

- In other news, that is all the news I have. I admit it, I'm a little boring right now, but I will pick up the pace. Actually I do have more to add, I'm just not in the right state of mind to write. Don't let the suspense get you.

predictable - pre·dicta·ble adj.: calculable, expected, foreseeable.

oh homecoming...

Alrighty. Long time no blog. I'm sorry! I have lots more to tell than follows, but it'll just have to wait, because trust me, you will get bored of reading pages a half about my life. Really.

Last week was homecoming, which really isn't a big deal to me because I'm not Greek (props to all their hard work), but there's a lot to enjoy anyway, so I do. Well in the chaos that involves the job quite often, we decided to be in the parade with our monstrous blimp. Yay. Everyone's happy. Great, super. Then Wednesday, two days before the big event, I'm thinking, "where the heck is the blimp? Maybe we should, uh, get it to Manhattan." Like I said, it's organized, all the time. Ha. Then I realize the only person with a super nice and big truck is working that night. Strike number two. Crap. So I call Ami, whom I miss dearly as she moved up in the world and left the little restaurant, because she knows a little bit more about such operations. She said well you have helium right? Um... nope. We need helium? And the whole idea of a float starts sounding a lot more complicated - no driver, no blimp, no helium. Oopsie. Somehow, everything got pulled together. So we're rushing around like crazy people, late for lineup with a deflated blimp and four crew to pull it together. Ingenious Ami gets brewskis and puts them in large cups with straws. Perfecto. The float suddenly doesn't seem so bad. We got the blimp up in great time, and although the wind yanked me around, it looked beautiful. With a huge yellow lab in my lap, and four people in the truck bed, we head out. Let's just say I'm not the best candy thrower. I think I took some little kids out. Seriously.

By the time we hit Aggieville it got nuts. We had t-shirts to throw and everyone started screaming "Chipotle" and yelling our names and mauling us. It was ridiculous. The crowd was huge and people were swarming everywhere. Everyone wanted us to throw them burritos. Are they serious?! At the back of the restaurant, someone got the ridiculous idea of climbing on the roof. So we did. Seven of us. And threw t-shirts down to the crowd below. Once again insanity insued. All for a t-shirt. It was a little exhilarating, as silly as that may sound. To be up that high, all grins, and all eyes on us. Okay I'm not famous. But it really did feel like our almost disastrous float was a huge success. And that was rewarding enough for me.

screw studying...

There's something about hot coffee, a perfect day, and a great friend to spend it with that gets your heart talking. I love it when I am supposed to be studying, but sometimes there are much more meaningful things to discuss. One of my favorite things about friendships is when moving past the outer layers and discovering a whole new facet to their life. Past the superficialities, common chatter, and small talk that I loathe so much, into the things that matter. I like digging deeper. And sometimes all you need is someone to listen and not say a word, for you to even hear yourself. Because sometimes life gets all mumble-jumbled and it's hard to tell what is real and what is important; what matters and what really doesn't. It can be overwhelming at times I guess. But then again I suppose that's how life is intended to be.

crazy train...

Okay I wanted to give a quick re-cap of a rather interesting Saturday game day. So here goes. Liz and I found ourselves very entertained at random tailgates to start the morning. We headed into the game about twenty minutes before it started, and I walked bravely to the front. Bam - two seats three rows up, thirty-five yard line. People all around I knew. Mom asked me about the game tonite. It wasn't until then that I realized I didn't really watch it first half. At all. I'm not sure what I was doing. Just cheering loudly for the heck of it probably. Bridge joined us second quarter and we kept on screaming. I got Liz sent up for a crowd-surfing rendevous. And although i grabbed her clutch and other loose objects, she did lose her bling-bling sunglasses in the journey. Aww.

Liz and I made a trip up to the bano and while I was trying to steer us right, she pointed out that the women's restroom was to the left. Okay. So we head in. And see a thousand unrinals. Ack! Retreat! Crap! Boys everywhere. Run away! Into a security guard. Who thinks we went in the wrong restroom on purpose. He soon realized by the look on our faces that it was on accident. Liz fell on the asphalt laughing. I tried not to pee my pants. We made it through the second half, a little colder but still having fun. Bridge and I even made it on the big-screen. Famous, I know.

As soon as the game was over we headed home to grab money and eat at Old Chicago - desparate to beat the mad rush. There was an hour wait already, so we grabbed a blink-y thingy and headed to the mall. Aahhh shoe shopping, what a wonderful sport. Then a friend of mine called and told us they (him and his friend Dave) were headed to the mall because they wanted to eat with us too. We made them play dress-up in American Eagle and found some lovely assets to their wardrobe. I loving finding clothes for boys to wear. It's so much easier than girls. Of course they didn't buy anything. But we tried. Finally our blinky went off and Bridge and I darted through the mall to get our seats. I mean I was beyond famished. The boys were stuck in the dressing rooms. Haha. An hour and a half after hilarious conversation and and goofiness ensued, we finally got the two items we ordered. A little ridiculous but worth the friendly banter. It was really nice to catch up with friends I never see.

I tried to nap when I got home, to no avail. About 2:00 Bridge and I headed on a DD run for three highly flammable wandering boys. They were ridiculously funny. It's amazing we made it safely. Or at least that my car seats were still attached. Those boys were all over the place. Entertaining doesn't even begin to describe. And of course there were hugs for everyones. And high fives. High fives everybody!

it's all in the hips...

Okay here comes another Thursday night re-cap after a heavy work-loaded week. Delicious dinner followed by some pre-celebrating before heading to the bars because Meggie is finally recouped - yay! Let's have a moment for her appendix. ----------------- Alrighty. Ryan and I headed to Fats for some fishbowls. It went down way too fast, because you see, I have an issue with straws. Put one in a drink, it'll be gone in no time. Give me a beer bottle, I'll sip on it no problem. Moral of story? Just say no to straws. Mixed with big fruity drinks. Oh what the 'ell give me another one. A lot of Ryan's friends met us out there, and my faithful friend Jeff came out too, with his ever faithful "thumbs up" following close behind. Ha ha. He has surgery on his tendon tomorrow, I think. Maybe I'll steal his brace.

Some friends then started begging to go to Joe's. Ack! Not more dancing. This can never be good. There is a strong possibility some of my inhibitions had been removed by this point. Yep. So I danced. Dang it. Mike made me take a cheap tequila shot. He seems to get very generous with the tequila after a few drinks. I'll be sure to return the favor. Of course the classic "Jump On It" started playing and more dancing ensued. If you could call it dancing. Regardless I had a great time, hilarious time - I wish I could tell all of my stories. Things were even funnier today as I recalled the random events this morning.

OH! This morning, now that was a treat. After not getting much sleep that evening, or the entire week for that matter, I was trying to squeeze in a precious hour of shut-eye before I headed to work at the break of dawn. The scene: me comfortably passed out in happy la-la dreamland. All of the sudden a blaring radio from a neighboring room comes on, and somehow manages to continue squawking (playing "Golddigger" nonetheless) and completely violating my peace. I jump out of bed looking all sorts of pretty, half dressed and blind, and proceed to smash the first button I could find with my eyes still closed. Ahhh. Quiet. Back to bed. Fifteen minutes later - same flipping thing. However this time the obnoxiousness was accompanied by an alarm clock just as loud. Are you kidding me? AAaaaauurgh! This time it gets shut it off. It's a good thing because I was about to throw the thing out the window. Wow, I love sleeping in.

pitter patter...

Tonight it is pouring down the perfect rain, neatly followed by perfect rumbling and an occasional crack of thunder. The kind of night you want to do nothing more than sit on the deck, preferrably wrapped up tight with another, drink coffee and really not think at all.

I suppose sitting in my bedroom studying for an exam with the window open and a cup of hot chocolate will have to suffice.

ba-donk-a-donk

I forgot to mention Thursday evening, which was a decent time, but the best part was picking up Anna from a house where she had dinner with her amigos from the summer. She was hilarious as usual, probably even moreso, and I quickly learned why. You can't say you are from the country until you've drank vodka from a mason jar. That's right, let's just scratch the beer part of that equation and replace with McCormick's. Delicious. Anna, you crack me up kid.

spinning wheel...

Holy cow. I have made it seven days without blogging. My apologies. It seems like life has been a little crazy lately, and now I'm not even sure why. Too much work, too much school, not enough life I suppose. I just keep running running running, wondering when I'll get caught up. Is that even possible? Probably not.

Ryan and I went out to Old Chicago this week. I tried the Blue Moon, which is garnished with an orange slice (I argued it was a big lemon, of course proved wrong when Ryan ate it). I'm up to four beers out of their 110. Bottoms up.

The best part of the evening, however, was a secret trip to the vet school to visit a German Sheppard puppy that was there to have surgery Monday. It was the best behaved dog I'd seen in a long time, not pulling on the leash, not barking or acting erratic, etc. Ryan couldn't take her because who knows where she'd end up in all his moving, but darn it she was cute. I wish we could sneak a puppy into our house. Wouldn't that be a fun mess.

Friday night I finally got to relax. Bridget and I grabbed two traditional chic-flicks and proceeded to ball our eyes out. It was a good time - throwing the roll of TP back and forth between sniffles.

And Saturday my brother came down (yay!) with his friend Dan. I had to work that night so I hope they weren't bored out of their minds. I coerced them into doing all the manly things I needed done around the house, such as hanging my curtains and pictures up on my wall. (No, I am still not officially moved in and I've been here for three months - oops.)

And finally in other news, I guess I'll toot someone else's horn. Ryan headed to the brotherly-love state this week and wowed a company with his skills. Of course I knew he would : ) So congrats to you Ryan - I hope you're as proud as I am.

crash...

i closed my eyes and listened to the thunder tonight. and then smiled. i did it to remember this morning - so i would not forget the beautiful, wonderful morning i prayed would never end. and then i cried. because it did. and because it will.

dizzy...

Last Thursday was a great time, as expected, with Anna in tow. One fishbowl already had her feeling fabulous and we were good to go. Eventually a small posse headed to Joe's to spank the planks. I don't know why I think I can dance after drinking. Someone should stop me. But an amazing thing happened at that crazy-dirty bar that night. Anna's friend started swing dancing with me, and we were having a dandy time. I passed him off to Anna so she could be in on the action and soon some of his friends joined us. His buddy said, "You want to swing dance? I'll dance with you." And he swung me around and spun me in circles after circles and behind the backs and dippity-do-dahs and more spins and turns and twirls. And he just kept dancing with me and I know I had to look as silly as all get-out with a stupid smile that would not go away. Because I'm a big sucker for great swing dancing, and as long as he didn't let go, I kept hanging on. And it's kind of a weird feeling to explain, and maybe even a cheesy one to attempt to try. But for once in a long long time I was really genuinely happy. Those care-free four minutes were like a mini-escape from the world and its troubles. Maybe that's the wonderful thing about dancing. It just does that to you.

thank you sir may i have another...

Here's an update: I think I blew a gasket in my stomach. Really. Maybe just a little one. After many hours of group project earlier this week I finally got home and needed dinner. Based on the grim outlook of my shelf on the fridge, I opted for Panera Bread. After a warm meal of soup and sandwich, Brian calls and is rarrin' to go play some racquetball which I'd promised. I thought it'd be fine. Right as we checked in eight sweaty freshmen waltzed in front of us and checked out all the racquets. Uh-oh. Brian says the doomed words, "let's run instead." Oh yeah, can't wait. So he says just one eight minute mile, which I'm thinking should be cake because, well, that just doesn't sound hard at all. That was before my first lap. And second. Panera no longer liked me after the third curve. And by the fifth lap this severe (and really I don't think I'm a girlie- pansy) pain shoots through my lower abdomen and decides to hang out for the completion of the mile. Encouraging Brian gets me to decently finish under 8min (thank goodness, that was embarrassing), however painful little tummy problem did not. It was faintly there when I woke up, and hung around all day afterward. And then the next day and the next day too. Just constantly but barely reminding me it's still around. Therefore I came to the conclusion that I blew a gasket. It's only logical.

screaming infidelities...

I'm sure everyone knows someone who does this and it's forever maddening. The guy who brings things up just to get you riled up and angry inside. The girl who almost always disagrees with what's being said, as if on purpose just to do it. Do these people enjoy being difficult? Do they just like knowing they can affect (or is that effect) a person? Or maybe they plain on enjoy being a little challenging to get along with. Man it drives me crazy. I guess it has been bugging me lately because a guy in my group in class does this all the time. It doesn't matter how hard we've worked or how much time I have put into something, it's never right, never good enough. And worse than that he points it out rudely and harshly. "Um... that's wrong". "Why'd you do it that way." Geez dude. And when he's wrong (which has been most of the time), is there any sign of admittance? Ha. It's been a personal goal to not give these arguers the satisfaction of a raised voice or hint of frustration. And that's not always easy, but usually well worth it. Because then they get flustered for not getting a typical response. And I can walk away with a satisfied smile on my face. See, I used to think I liked arguing, like it was often my fault, but Rae update - I really don't. Thank goodness. That's not to say when something is meaningful or close to me I won't raise my voice and defend my position with a little emotion. Because if necessary I get riled up. I can't help it. I think it shows passion. It shows you care for something, or someone and that's perfectly fine with me.

So I've realized that I have a blogging problem. As in I want to do it all the time. I could do it more than once a day but then I remember that my life really isn't crucially exciting, therefore I will spare all of you from boredom; although maybe you're reading this because you're bored. Interesting.

Here's a quick rundown of my week. My brother finally made the trip up here from college. And I was so happy. Don't tell anyone but I was getting a little homesick. I know - shhhhh. He met me at Kite's along with numerous beligerent friends that had way too many cheap beer towers. We painfully watched the K-State v. OU game. Bleh. That's all I have to say about that. At least my company was entertaining. Afterward we played racquetball which was pretty funny. He gets to practice against some crazy friends at school and was bringing me a challenge. We'll just say they were close games. Later Anna, Kevin, Justin, and I watched "Crash", which I recommend to rent. Wow, I've hit two great movies in a row. That's actually amazing based on my track record. I'm not sure what a Ryan Dunn review would say (haha) but I think it's at least worth a try.

This week I had two big presentations for my business classes, both of which went okay. Nope, not great, but that just goes to fault my public speaking skills. The industry analysis we did today was a group project and required many unplanned hours. Granted I get nervous as most people do before speaking in front of fifty people, so this time I attempted another approach. I figured that by putting off thinking about speaking beforehand I would remain calm and professional. I'm not sure I pulled off a "put-together" look when the second I started speaking my hands, my whole paper, AND leg was visibly shaking. Like it wasn't even part of my body. I was telling them to stop but they didn't listen; just went right on shaking for all the class to see. I made it through in 7.5 minutes. It was only supposed to be 4.5. Oops. My group went over time thanks to me. I'm just glad I didn't fall over due to uncontrollable body movements. I don't know what my deal is. Yes I'm working on it.

Besides that I'm a little exhausted due to lack of sleep - the usual complaint of college kids I suppose. I was looking forward to a nap when I got home, but haven't had time yet. Matt came over and I forced him to get ice cream with me (evil laugh). That's what he gets for surprise visits.

Other than that I guess we'll see what Thursday has yet in store. To go out or not go out... uhhh... I'm out.

and then there's aggieville...

Recently spotted on my dry erase board outside my doorway after a long and hilarious, possibly juvenile, Thursday evening:

'Dear Raechelle,
Thanks for the taco. I honestly only came in (to work) to see your beautiful hungover face, but the taco was a nice surprise. I heart: U. walks home from the bars. switching shoes. stopping to roll on the ground laughing. hugs. morning rides (in neither of our own cars). drunk heart to hearts. see you tonite.
Anna'

Thursday was quite an adventure. Anna, don't forget the part about you trying to call safe ride and me repeatedly insisting on you calling danger instead. Call danger, call danger! It's not my fault I'm scared to death of the freaking park.

Well work at 7:15 that next morning was quite pleasant. Me putting away the food order resulted in a smashed pinkie finger, a long scratch down my forearm, scraped knuckles, and a deep incision between my thumb and pointer finger. Not to mention my appearance was nothing short of stunning.

Oh how I can't wait for another Thursday, however a much less drama-filled one please. I have one class presentation down, one to go. Group meeting total this week: four and counting. I love business admin.

My apologies for a bit scattered, unorganized, and spontaneous entry today. So is my life. And, well, I thoroughly enjoy it that way.

P. S. Big news! I bought an ink cartridge yesterday. Seriously that's a big deal. I can no longer afford groceries. And after five nozzle-head cleanings it finally printed a document. Crap.

long december...

Sometimes you have to let go. Often it is very difficult to recognize that a friendship is no longer healthy, no longer rewarding, no longer worth the struggle. Because part of you wants to hold on and make things work. And it seems silly; being friends sounds so elementary, so simple. When do things get complicated? Part of you really really feels like once you get past all the drama, all the challenges, and all the muck, things will work. But they won't. They never do. There comes a point that you have to stick up for yourself and stop getting repeatedly ran over. So you pick up the pieces, pick up the past, and maybe even your dignity. Then walk away.

You are just a big game that I refuse to play. And really it's just not worth it anymore.

should be doing homework...

I was planning on telling everyone about a movie Tiffany and I were going to see last night. "Crash" was playing in Forum Hall but by the time we got there, the parking lot was swarming with cars and the theatre was packed. We had no chance. I've heard really great reviews about it, so I guess we'll be renting it soon. So much for being cultured.

Anna and I watched "Kinsey" last Friday and would highly recommend it to anyone with an open mind. The film expresses the sexual revolution that occurred in the 1940's when the book "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" was published. It is very graphic by nature, however the scenes, as well as pictures, are displayed in an educational, non-exploitative manner. Although there are arguments that Kinsey's studies were un-scientific leading to skewed results, which may very well be true, I feel moreso that society was/is unwilling to admit what may often be reality.

*Ask anyone, I'm not much of a movie buff. Okay, at all actually. So take my opinion as just that.

bambi...

The weekend was quite successful. One of my friends was in town I rarely get to see and we had a good time in the 'ville. Anna and I entertained afterward with glorious nachos that were made possible by Brian's rare find (the Tostitos on the upper shelf). Otherwise, I just might have starved. I had to forge through two 8-hour night shifts at work, much to my dismay. Sunday we got rocked and pumped out a bajillion burritos. I was in charge, and as much things that we almost ran out of, things went surprisingly smoothly. My crew was a great help.

I have a... cough cough... cough... cold with a scratchy throat. Poor me. But don't worry, when I take little kid's cough syrup, it keeps me up all night long. Oops.

On a more serious note, my family could use your prayers. My grandpa has a 95% chance of stomach cancer, which is really rare. If diagonosed correctly it's in stage four, which is the highest level possible, and he is not allowed to have surgery. Hopefully when he gets a second opinion, things will look better.

Also, on her way home from my grandparent's this weekend, mom managed to get ran over by Bambi's father. A huge buck came out of a field toward her car while a truck was passing her. The deer missed her and hit the truck, propelling the buck back into her car and off the hood. She was okay, thanks goodness. The deer was not.

crazy train...

After a chaotic morning, Anna and I headed to game. We brought our own tailgate, so if you ever need suggestions for supplies, we're pretty efficient. P. S. did I tell you Anna made me an egg-bagel sandwich this morning? Delicious.

Okay, anyway, the tailgating was perfect because just about everyone we knew was right on the pavement/grass front line, and after visting Mike's part-ee, we got to visit a whole lot more people, and Anna and I even played gladiators. Yes of course I won. She was weak.

I got to watch the first quarter plus ooohh.. five minutes of the next... but enough to see the cats score. I love football games. I love the student section. And I love the Wabash. I can't wait until KU is here. I think it's due time for Anna to crowd surf. Haha.

Now I have to go to work and have no desire or even much ability to be making salsas and serving up burritos. Dang it.

back to california...

How long I’ll wait just to say good-bye
Ten different ways to enjoy this night
Can’t do this anymore, won’t feel you anymore
How long I’ll wait just to say good-bye

You could never let me in
Holding on until the end

The time I waste just to say good-bye
Out of your way, I could do this right
Can’t see you anymore, won’t feel you anymore
How long I’ll stay just to say good-bye

Leave it all, the fights and all
Summer’s getting colder
Drive all night to hold you tight
Back to California
Days went by we waited
And I guess we’re getting older
We couldn’t win in the end

I’m miles away, turning out your lights
Ten different ways I could end this night
Can’t do this anymore, won’t feel you anymore
How long I’ll wait just to say good-bye

Leave it all, the fights and all
Summer’s getting colder
Drive all night to hold you tight
Back to California
Days went by we waited
And I guess we’re getting older
We couldn’t win in the end

--Sugarcult

i need a... job?

Okay so I did crash a lot on the water this weekend at the lake, but it was well worth it. I spent Friday evening until Sunday with a good chunk of family. And I played harder than I've gotten to all summer, which is why my shoulder blades are screaming at me now. We had a campfire both nights and sat around for hours telling stories. My wakeboard skills haven't improved much but I'll be at it again next summer.

Anyway, as an update to me freaking out when I try so hard not to, this week has been off to a much better start. I skipped the Career Fair today because my resume wasn't finished and my classes didn't get cancelled leaving no time for preparation (and I was dragging my feet which didn't help my desire). The job proposition fell through because they're looking for someone right away, and I of course won't be out until May, but I'm not discouraged. There will be many more chances.

Work cut my hours back a ton, as in I only work two days this week, which is perfect. I'll be attending the Career Fair tomorrow, hopefully with some promise and I have a test Thursday morning, then I'm home free.

Oh yeah, and yesterday Patrick beat me five out of six games in racquetball (scratch that, he won all six; he called me today on the correction. I only played well one match [13-15] oops). It was pathetic, I mean I was. Apparently I wasn't awake from my nap yet, or maybe he was on fire. My brother is challenging me to a match the next time he's down here. He's been practicing. Apparently his roomate is amazing. Oh, and he told me this weekend a guy from his school, age 22, wants to meet me. Those boys are hurting for the ladies down there if they have to check out other dude's sisters on messenger. I laughed.

freaking out...

AAAAaaaAAaaaaauuugh! Two exams, an important job application (which means type your freaking resume Rachelle!), three major projects, and the career fair. And yes I'm whining. I've been at the library all day trying to focus and not nod off. The ol' Business Law just won't sink in... I've got the basics but not at all the detailed knowledge I need. And Marketing is a lot more information than I'd planned but I'm placing my bets that it will be a little more common sense. Ha - everytime I say that it's usually a bomb. The workload I had this weekend allowed for zero to zippo studying as I was struggling to even complete all my Tuesday homework. I'm going to need to cut some major hours to get the next two weeks complete - crap!

The load is lightened because my family and cousins are headed up to the lake this weekend. Yay! And I can't wait to get on the water again, with no worries except busting on a wave, which is about as good as it gets.

bars take two...

Okay trip two to the bars proved to be much more entertaining. Friday night the guys from work called and I had Long Islands with them before heading to the 'Ville. Of course Liz and I didn't get there until 11:30 so they were closed before we blinked twice, but it was entertaining. Then I headed to Porters to meet up with Ryan and his friends. Perhaps because of everyone's level of intoxication things just seemed funnier than usual, but Ryan and Brandon had me laughing harder than I have for a long, long time. My stomach hurt. Anna joined us and we headed home soon after that. I won't tell of the scene that occurred upstairs but let's just say I was rolling on the ground laughing my posterior off and Anna is probably scarred for life. I heart you Anna and I'm still laughing.

Last weekend Ryan and I headed to Kansas City for his friend's wedding. I got an amazing tour of Louisburg (yes it took five minutes) and had a lot of fun meeting some new people, including his mom, who was incredibly nice and just as he and Anna had described. She made the wedding/reception much more enjoyable, as Ryan was pretending not to be bored out of his mind.

bar scene...

As much as I thought I wasn't ready to grow-up and leave the college scene, perhaps you could say last night was a reality check. Get me out! We ran into a bunch of people Anna and I knew which was great - until my world got a whole lot smaller really quick. Everything that happened kept reminding me of high school - when everyone knows everyone else's business. When I first got to college I was so happy to get away from all of that and live a little less dramatically. Apparently that can only last so long until friend circles start overlapping and drama rears its ugly head.

Thank goodness I now know what a little bit of normacly (if there is such a thing) feels like. I know I sometimes drive Ryan crazy with my childish streaks but I really really appreciate him helping me realize what a relationship does not have to be. You have no idea.

once it hits your lips...

It's Thursday! Finally. And I don't work the night shift - amazing! Anna and I are long overdue for a girl's night on the town. I have been in hiding for about three weeks due to stress and exhaustion, and well probably just enjoying hanging out without going out.

This semester has been a lot to get used to, and I am starting to notice the lack of friends around campus - many of which graduated in May. I miss seeing everyone. Even Anna isn't in the Kats Den when I have a break. I think I'm feeling old. Dang it. On a better note I am mostly on top of my homework/job/life schedule, which didn't feel like such a good thing after I realized how much class-work I have. The professors are on a rampage of assignments and groupwork. Bleh.

So this weekend I'm working some close shifts and hopefully getting caught up and prepared for two exams I have soon. Ryan's soccer game is in Lawrence on Saturday and I really wanted to go but my conflicting schedule doesn't allow much leniency. I'm sure those boys will be perfectly happy with an all-male mini roadtrip anyway.

Now Anna's ready and we have some planks to spank (I know I'm a cornball, I can't help it) so I'm out... and I'm sure soon enough I'll be out-out. Haha... scandalous.

P.S. Matt thanks for the enchiladas tonight - they were deeeelicious!

so long sweet summer...

I'm definitely starting to feel like this blog is probably not expressing my usual outgoing, cheerful and happy persona very accurately. So my apologies but I have more ranting and raving to express.

This week has been as close as it can get to a stressful, unorganized, chaotic mess. My neck has had a kink in it for at least three weeks - I'm pretty sure almost four. And there are knots galore in my shoulder blades. Stress I'm sure, but it was happening before school even started. I had one wonderful massage but he said I needed to come back at least twice to take care of all the tension. Sorry buddy, but on a student budget the wallet was a little too thin to begin with. Maybe that's why I've been so cranky lately. Hmmm.

On that note, school is not settling well and my un-motivation is at an all time high. Professors have been handing out gobs of ambiguous and time-consuming homework. Procrastination it at a new personal level, as I've been waking up at wee hours of the morning (okay I'm exaggerating but 6:00am feels early when I go to bed at 1:00am) just to finish the homework I was too tired to do the night before. Of course it always takes longer than expected so I'm flying out the door half dressed, searching desperately for my car keys with sack lunch, water bottle, juice, purse, cell phone and schoolbag trailing loosely behind - I know, I'm so organized. By the time I reach my first class I've broken into a sweat. Gross. At least I've made a friend so I can copy his notes when I can't keep my eyes open. Lukcy him.

Today was hectic as hell. During the forty-five minute break I waited patiently for the ID center to replace my card. All summer I was showing up as "Rick So-and-So on the Rec computer. Well little Ricky no longer has a membership so I finally had to do something about it. Which is besides the fact that it's a little bent and got stuck in the print scanners in the computer lab Tuesday. I had to pry it out with my handy-dandy spare tweezers. Yes I was embarrassed. Three full moons later the new ID printed and I was on my way.

Bridget and Brian entertained me as a shoved a turkey sandwich down my throat and chugged a double espresso. Delicious. Brian and I sprinted to the business college and I bee-lined for the computer lab, praying the machine would take my two crumpled dollars and put it on my new card. Five minutes until class. Perfect. The girl in front of me had half a million copies and then it just stopped. I think it was laughing at me, mocking me. "Ha ha you're going to be late and there's nothing you can do because you have to have the powerpoints for class." Grrr. Well I am part genius and after punching enough buttons it spit out my copies. As luck would have it we had a guest speaker that my entrance rudely interrupted. I took my frazzled self to the front of the class and slunk into my assigned seat. One more class to go.

Good news - the quiz I didn't study for was cancelled. Shwew.

I walked out to my car, trying to figure out if I should cover a shift for one of the supervisors who wanted to trade with me. He called during the middle of class with a sob story about how sick he was. Work was the last place I wanted to be today. As I neared the parking lot I caught a glimpse of a yellow envelope glaring at me from my windshield. What the crap? How did I get an $18 parking ticket when I purchased the necessary $75 pass that was... oops... still in my purse. Dang it. Once again props to me. The parking lady on the phone didn't care to hear my reasoning nor want proof that I really did own a permit. It didn't matter to them. "You just need to be more adult about it," she says. Wow. I really wanted to punch her.

After that I definitely wasn't going into work. Sorry Jeff. I guess you could say Karma is a bi-atch. There were two occasions I was in desperate need of extra hands and you were nowhere to be found. Actually you never even called back. I guess you could say I'm resentful. Sorry.

Okay so here I am complaining about life in general when I really have no place to at all. I've been watching the New Orleans hurricane catastrophe unfold and it makes me sick to my stomach. Families, infants and elderly who haven't eaten or showered in three days, enduring 98 degree weather with no place to call home. Snipers shooting at rescue workers while they search for survivors. Looters destroying what little the city has left. People of all backgrounds, beliefs and social status residing together in the Superdome - everyone on the same playing field and everyone's life forced into perspective.

Maybe sometimes a parking ticket isn't such a big deal.

let the games begin...

Class has started. I'm not nearly as excited as I thought I'd be. The first week actually wore me out. It's poured each day I had class and campus becomes a temporary flood zone, but I've been lucky enough to catch rides. It's been nice not have such bloody hot weather. I'll never complain about the rain. My buddy Brian, a guy I met last year in class, gets to put up with me from 9:30 until 2:30 every Tuesday and Thursday. I know it's a chore, but he's taking it well. He's always good entertainment. In general my courses are handleable. One of them, taught by my favorite professor, might even help me find direction as far as a career or even a general gameplan . Ha - wouldn't that be nice. If I can stay awake in my classes they shouldn't be too bad. I have a terrible habit (actually I really don't think I can even help it) of getting comfortable way too easily and quickly. It's great when I'm falling asleep at night - five minutes and I'm already out and dreaming. In class however, this causes quite a problem - especially when half my professors don't follow a textbook. Crap I need to work on that. Maybe I just get bored too easily. Mom, I hope you're not reading this because I can already hear the lecture and yes I'll try to get more sleep. I promise.

27 seconds...

Last Sunday my parents were in town to help my brother move into his dorm so we headed to the lake early that morning to make some waves. The water was crazy smooth and we were one of very few boats on the water. I skiied. Then I kicked off one ski and slalomed. And fell. And tried again. And again. And fell. Our cousins soon joined us with their boat and my brother was inspired to try out their wakeboard. I personally am scared to death of having my feet connected (and incredibly uncoordinated when they are). Believe me, my attempt at snowboarding was a disaster. He made it look easy, getting up within the first few tries. My cousin coerced me into starting in the water with only one ski. I've tried before and only succeeded in ripping my arms from their sockets. This time took about eight tries until I popped up and skiied like a pro. Okay, well a pro that goes really slow and barely makes it over the wake. But still, it was a first and I was happy. Thirty minutes later I was jumping in the water putting on the wakeboard. It was going to be a rough crash and burn. Three tries later I was up. Cake. Looks like it's time for a new water toy.

The whole point of that introduction, besides documenting my eventful morning, was to lead into a very interesting experience we encountered later that afternoon. We had heard about a marina that bragged a "27 second cheeseburger." Personally, I'm not sure that should be the main selling point. We pulled up to the dock and two incredibly friendly (ha) ladies tied up the boats. You would think if your job was to be on the lake all day, reading magazines, selling outrageously priced fuel and occasionally serving happy boaters, your job could not possibly be too painful. As witnessed by their customer service, I must be mistaken. None-the-less and as promised the older grump plopped down a ball of raw hamburger and in no time a cooked burger appeared. I will never eat there again. Ever.

wings...

My brother graduated high school this May and is on his way to college, which is a completely exciting ordeal in itself. Believe me, he cannot wait to get out of the house and dive head first into his own adventure. But what's even more awesome to me is that today my little brother is taking a test to become a pilot and in a few hours he should be certified. That's means passengers and all. I am so proud of him. Eighteen years old and flying solo - in all sense of the word.

that's a wrap...

Here's a look at the summer's highlights (so I don't forget), which at a closer look might appear a little pathetic.

• Numerous trips to the lake including a rainy Hawaiian birthday bash, smoky stories around the campfire, kneeboarding at dusk, and... I finally stopped being a weenie and slalom skiied. That's a big deal.
• Random trip to Omaha, NE where I enjoyed a tour of the city (Nebraska is a lot more beautiful than I imagined - really), the College World Series, and hours of pointless, silly entertainment with two friends - thanks Brian. I also hit up four states in three hours that weekend, and visited Anna in the 'Dot afterward.
• Fourth of July celebration with lots of friends at a Royals game. We grilled out of the back of the Cirrus. Yes, of course they lost, but the fireworks show was pretty impressive. "Royals, #1 in fun." Ha.
• Bachelorette party in small town America - my first one. It was ridiculous.
• The big move to the MC (thanks mom and dad). I hate moving. I love our new home. And my bedroom is the size of New Jersey.
• Zach and Bridget's wedding back home. I remembered again why I hardly go home.
• Finally, who can forget the countless trips to the 'Ville. If my summer needed summed up that would be it. Work, Aggieville. Um... yeah that's it. I am now poor but happy. And a little upset there are no more Friday specials.

Anna and I, doing our best at being goofy and happy, as always. She's probably going to hate that I put her chicken neck on here. Did I mention she's the best?

summer vacation...

With a Spring 2006 graduation date looming overhead, this summer was a welcomed break from the hub-bub of school and life in general. I cut back from the usual two-job , 70 hour work week that the three month "vacation" normally entails, passed on any summer classes available, and enjoyed life in a slower lane. It's been glorious. Of course it is soon coming to an end - as in crap! one week left! I'm excited to start classes again, although it seems surreal that college life will be finished - a bit prematurely maybe, or perhaps it's just hard to let go of what I'm used to and have grown to enjoy so much.